"Twenty"

  • Thread starter Thread starter SLuiCe
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SLuiCe

SLuiCe

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Hi guys. Just looking for some mix feedback on this song. Mostly wondering about vocal levels, but if something else is bugging ya I'll take that too. Thanks a lot.

Tom

Twenty
 
Hooray first post... You posted this one a little while back didn't you? Downloading.... :D
 
OK... slightly more feedback. Good tune, the songwriting is very good as usual. The vocals sound a bit quiet right at the beginning of the verse, perhaps a little too much reverb blurring them a bit. Suddenly you get louder when the harmonies come in, and they sound fine there. Things are fine from thereon.
 
I think I may have commented on this in some other forum, lol.


(thanks for the bump, btw :D)
 
Much points for creativity. Sound for the guitar solo is really nice.

Care to post the lyrics Sluice?
 
Thanks fellas. Caught most of you on the other site...thanks.

Canopus, I don't think it's reverb. It's probably the softness of my delivery in the beginning of the verses. Maybe there's some compromise I can find. Thanks man.

Lynx, thank you sir. Here's the lyrics.

Twenty by Tom Gagne

Could I pass this up again?
A chance to talk to you for like, real...
I open my mouth and out come these sounds
That never quite say how I feel.
Now I know what you needed for me to believe in
But I'll never pass it off as my own will.
Tell me mother, tell me father may I go
To the ones who cherish me and show me how to grow?
Who invited me to a world that would cradle me.
Who from inside of me would defeat what belittled me.
But I wanna be part of your world still now and again
I want you to hear the truth, but from me.
Why can't I just stand up and come straight with you?
'Cuz there are just some things that you'll never see.

Is this the way I am to live?
Handed down the curse of my land...
In spite of the pain I know I'm quite sane
Regardless of the cuts on my hands.
Well why were they needing for me to be bleeding?
Is it not enough that I am down?
Hear me mother, hear me father...This is why I'm free...
The sweat and tears of twenty years are rolling off from me.
I was trying to create a world that would cradle me
By denying what little truth they have given me.
But I wanna be part of your world still now and again
I want you to hear the truth, but from me.
Why can't I just stand up and come straight with you?
'Cuz there are just some things that you'll never see.

...there are just some things you refuse to see.
 
As far as songwriting goes I have to say this is one of the best songs I've ever heard in the clinic. Everything sounds great and mix is very good IMO, as are the vocals.
Gonna check your other stuff out right now...!
 
Thanks Sluice, some great lines in there.

I'd like to know the inspiration but only if you care to share it. If you're like me sometimes these things are a bit personal.
 
Hey Layne, thanks man. Much appreciated!

Lynx, I wrote this when I was twenty years old, living about 1500 miles from home. In retrospect, I think it's about learning the meaning of independence. And it's about learning to communicate. I wrote it when I was very hungry and on my own, by my own choice. I guess it was about going home and paradoxically saying both "thanks for the shelter" in one breath and "what good did sheltering do?" in the next. Lessons I'm still learning ten years later to be honest. Cheers man.
 
The vocals are just a little bit low to me.....Very nice sounding though! I'd just like them to be just a little bit louder....everything else sounds really awesome!
Jason
 
T. its got a really good heartbeat and smooth counterrythyms throughout. The tones and levels sound right. In the intro I could use some more acoustic level. Vocals were up and out front. I think you could play on the dynamics a bit more when you hook it. When it gets to the pivot lines on the two verses " 'there are some things...." it could swell and fly a little more for me on the last note. maybe let some slapback come in as the voices sustain that ending note and swell, especially at the end, the last one. Pardon me if it looks like I`m treading to far in your production, but it`s a really dynamic piece I enjoyed a lot. Hoorah...:)
 
Sorry for chiming in so late. I dl this the other day and forgot to listen til just now. I thought that this was done very well and the voices were fine. There were some interesting guitar sounds towards the end. Since Im a drummer I always have to analyze things from that point of view - do you think of this in three or in six¿ At any rate I thought that the drums were very nicely done and it reminded me that I need to get out of four every once in a while.
el jordo
 
Jason Bird- I've been hearing from people that the first verse mostly needs the boost in the vocal. Glad you like the tune! Thanks a lot man.

Toki- Some good advice there Kenny. I'll be putting in a new bass track soon and I hope to work on the dynamics more from there. I like your production ideas! Thanks.


jordokid- I guess I think of it as 6/8, but I know someone with conservatory training who will probably tell me it's 3/4. :) Glad you dug it. And hell yeah, experiment with those meters man! ;) Cheers!
 
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