This is my best? Before and After...

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dafduc

dafduc

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I write a lot. A lot. But this may have been my best work, especially regarding lyrics, 'cos I mean it. With all my heart.

Here's the catch - it don't sound too good when I sing it. So I pestered crawdad, 'til he agreed to take a stab at it.

I've asked him for permission to post his version, and haven't got it yet. I got a reply, which made it sound like he was okay with it, but the recording is HIS property, just like the song is mine. So I'm making sure.

So I'll post my scratch track, to give you a sense of the before. Please understand that this recording was only an attempt to get something together that crawdad could work from, includes a fumbled lyric, heavily limited piano (to cover up a cut-n-paste volume issue), and a one-take-who-cares-about-technique vocal reading from yours truly. Oh, and it's rendered to mp3 at 64kbps.

I'll take feedback on the writing and the performance - don't bother with recording commentary (unless you just can't hold back :rolleyes: , as that wasn't the point of THIS recording). But come back tomorrow, and you should be able to hear this from the hands and voice of the master...

 
Hey Daf---you of course have my permission to post my version if you want!
 
I love it.It moved the shit out of me just like it is.I could hear and feel the emotion in your voice.Almost made me cry in a couple of spots.LOL.This song has got "it",if you know what I mean.
 
Daf, one of the most sincere and moving pieces I`ve heard in a while man. If I were a girl I`d wanna kiss Al too.. he is a vocal hunk. I like the mix on this, is wide and open.
I think Ramsey would approve... :)
 
Listened to the first version. Turn my speakers up all the way....YOW!!! Just got an email notification and it scared the shit out of me!!!!

Damn. That's some really good stuff daf. For some reason it reminds me a bit of John Cale. Really nice song.

The production was nice on the crawdad version, and man has he got a voice. I think I appreciated the simplicity of the original, but they're both great. The music compliments the lyrics perfectly. Beautiful in it's simplicity. It had an effect on me! Rare these days!
 
Wow, Listened to both versions, for some reason the one you posted was at such a low level that it was hard to appreciate it.
Then listened to Al's version. What "studio" did he do that in!:D This is a GREAT song on all points. IMHO
Great writing
Great vocals
Great composition and playing
Great recording

7 out of 5 stars;)




Peace
Bill
 
Toki: Thanks. Kim wanted to kiss Al, too, but he was just coming off some kind of flu. But I can't picture Ramsey doing this one without (a) funking the rhythm way up, and (b) some extended riffage.

rats: Thanks for the listen. Sorry about the volume thing - I thought I hit the normalize button on CDex? Guess not. Anyhow, I heard Al sing "Dreaming My Life Away" and thought "THAT'S the guy I wanna hear sing this song". So I pestered him til he gave in.

Christiaan: Thank you, too. This might be my ONE thing...

Bill: That's quite a vote of confidence. I thank you, and I'm sure crawdad would too, if he ever visits this thread again.

Daf
 
Some real good lines in this one. "She won't sing for me, but she'll sing for her babies" made me smile. The hook in the chorus is real nice.

It's also a good one for crawdad to sing.
 
great song dafduc. i'm sure crawdad's performance is great but, something is really fucked up when i play back the file on my pc. it's speeding up and slowing down. reallly weird.
 
The star of this one is the lyrics, Daf. As such, either version works. You probably willl have a lot of 40-50 year old women wetting their drawers.

On the Crawdad version, I think some of the low bass needs to be rolled off. Usually my 20/20 BAS speakers don't give out much bass, but this was really pushing them.
 
Wow...

I really liked this song. I listened to both versions. I actually liked both for different reasons. Daf - even though you don't think yours sounded that good there was a vulnerability there that was really appealing. Plus, I bet your wife really liked it. :)

Al's version sounded great. So what's new?:o ;) :D. j/k. It was beautiful. The recording sounded good. Maybe a little bass heavy? Your voice sounded great on this IMHO.

The song...very, very, very cool. As it sits right now I don't think it is extremely commercial. Although, I think it could be. Of course all of this is IMVVHO. But it is extremely beautiful. I think there are some lyrics in there that are very personal that I am probably not even getting the full drift of. That being said, I would not change one word of it. It was very moving and really got me thinking. Very nice work daf. This goes directly to the keepers folder. Does not pass go, does not collect $200. I will be looking forward to studying this song with a lot more spins in the future.

I'd better not play it for my wife though. I can just here it now..."You never wrote ME a song that nice...You don't love me" :D :p :D
 
Very sweet Daf, i enjoyed your song. I can really sense you're putting yourself on the line for this one, it comes across in the recording. That's what art is about to me.
 
Listening to the 'after' version.

You know what? I like hearing Crawdad singing a melody different from his usual style. He even changed his diction for the sake of the song. Wonderful. Super delivery. It's lovely hearing somebody sing when they're on top of it and enjoy it. Great picking, and I like that great big bass too - it seems appropriate to the song. Okay, is it only me, or can anyone else hear some kind of phase or slight boxiness on the vocal? Like there were two mics on the go at the same time or something, or a slightly off angle on the mic.

That chorus - unusual melody and magic chord sequence - magic... Good, good lyrics. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. :) :)
 
wow..... ..man this is nice!!

....very nice tune Daf. ...i like the constantly even feel of the rhythm ...it leaves lotsa room for dynamic vocals. If you actually chose a singer in this clinic, your choice was the right one for this.

Beautiful Dad.......!!!!!
....you're a force man.

...I would love to hear strings added to this.

very very nice!!
gw/
5
 
3M: Thank you. That one's pure fact - she won't sing in front of me. Sang for the kids alla time...

erichenryus: I bet your player doesn't support VBR, or you've got a setting that ignores it. Crawdad's got VBR, mine got straight lofi. Thanks for your kind thoughts, though.

dachay2tnr: Yeah, this one's ready for Delilah, huh? Wonder if I can skip the middlemen and just send it straight to her? And I agree, bass is heavy - actually made the vocs distort on my car stereo.

Jag: Just tell your wife you DID write it for her. A lot of it is personal, and literal: alabaster belly, killer stretch marks, freckles, W-I-D-E smile, messed up back from two auto accidents. And the sings-for-her-babies thing. I'd be curious how you'd make this commercial. Crawdad said drop a verse, add a bridge. What are YOU thinking?

Khompy: Wow, art. No one's ever accused me of THAT before.:D Seriously, thanks.

dobro: Thank you. I'm not getting that on Al's voice, but I'm listening to the wav. I'll try the mp3 at home, see what I get. Mebbe your player has VBR issues too? Anyhow, I appreciate the listen.

Guernica: Thank you also. Yeah, crawdad was THE guy. Hope he understands that. We talked about strings, went for simple instead. Pedal steel, or gondola-style mando, might've worked well, too.

Daf
 
This one slipped by me before somehow

I really like it, very heartfelt and touching. Piano is singing to me as well as the vocal, a very unique experience to me.

One minor gripe is the length, it's OK but it may need a string part somewhere around the 3:00 mark if it's going to be that long. If the song finished at 3:30 I'd say don't touch it, it's perfect the way it is..the second time I listened to it the first thing that came to my mind was the length. Ah forget it, that's just me, I'm not into long songs although I really like Stairway to Heaven I swear :)
 
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