"The Passing" (2003 Collector's Edition)

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SLuiCe

SLuiCe

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I know- stupid thread title but it's 5am and I can't sleep.

Been meaning to get some thoughts on this re-recording of "The Passing." It's one of the first songs I posted here, written after 9/11, which inspired me to start getting back into music again, while I still could if you know what I mean.

Comments on vocal levels would be appreciated. The sound is obviously quite Floydish, so I'm not really looking for originality points here, just a decent production on a tune that still means something to me. There is a lot of synth and a bit of guitar, so hopefully the words aren't lost in the mix like in much earlier versions. Essentially, I took the old synth tracks and re-did the drums, guitars and vocals.

Also, I'm still trying to decide if this would have any place on a mostly guitar driven CD or not. Anyone familiar with my usual crap might be helpful with that one.

Does it need beefing up anywhere? Is the vocal too weak or too forceful? Should I have gone blonde instead of red?

Thanks a lot if you get the time.

"The Passing"
 
And yes I do like my guitar stuff better too. :)

Trying to pre-respond off that comment!
 
...damn salt mines:D ......what he said, I'll hit this tonight:)
 
Two words...awesome imaging! I love this mix Tom..everything just spins around your head, and with your eyes closed you can just drift off into a better place. The vocals sound fine too me, definately not too loud but i'm using headphones and speakers tend to bring them up a notch. To me, its the kinda song where the words drift into the music so being not able to hear a word here or there doesnt worry me...but most are intellagable.

Really like the deep vocals underneath...i could get deeper though :) You've got a great range. There was nothing hear that pokes out to me as urrhgh..which i usually find atleast one case in most songs.
Any advice?..hmm..maybe the intro vocals..i dig what they are doing but maybe they could mold into the background a little better? Just getting picky. Great effects on the vocals too..it suits the music to a tee.

Sorry i couldnt be more helpfull..but i think you've achieved your goal of a good production on a song that means something to you.
 
I'm having some trouble with the lyrics. 2:00> especially.

That vocal lick in the intro??? I hear what you're saying but it sounds awkward? That scale has certain slide notes ascending and different ones descending. IMO it could change the depth of the message there.

I might be able to dig up an audio clip of samples of the scale if you want.

I listened 2x , ??? I don't have much else to add. I want to hear it one more time

Joe
 
Once again, the production is incredible. I always invision this large band up on this huge auditorium stage, smoke in the air, only blue lights coming down...of course it's just you in some room of your house. That cracks me up.

I loved the percussion. Programming was great. The stong Middle Eastern flavor at the beginning was perfect. It cetainly creates the mood especially know what the song is about.

I want to hear the lyrics because what heard really pulled me in. I don't have any technical ideas on how to do that because I like the way everything sounds now. At least can you post or PM them so I can read along?

Great job and this would fit very nicely on your CD. Maybe the last track or a bonus hidden track.
 
If somebody walked in here and asked "whats up here as in theatrical audio?" I say go down that hall to the big dark door on the right and knock twice, when the doorman opens, say without lettin your voice tremble..... "I need to see Tom or Sam".

That was massive dude!

ohhh, I forgot to do some standard critique stuff!
The vocal could have a touch more presence to lift it a tad and give a touch more discernable articulation, and thats about it from here.
 
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Thanks a lot boys...good advice!

I'll respond to each when I get home tonight, but here's the lyrics.

The Passing

Turning the channels today
Smoking the reasons away
Said they've already a name
So soon, and someone to blame

Let's keep him alive for our stones

Broader our crying abounds
Louder their laughter resounds
Now our towers have burned
Some say we'll never return to normal

We're passing through slowly
Your surprise seems so strange
Your wars are unholy, unholy and you should change.

Moving in waves tonight
Crossing the ocean to fight
To deliver messages of might
Splashes, flashes of light.

Keep him alive for our stones.

Now our towers have burned
Some say we'll never return to normal

Never a day will pass we don't remember this, you assholes...

If you could actually tell me which words are unclear, I might be able to fix it, and I'd be very grateful too! I'll get back to ya's tonight. Peace!
 
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First I read the lyrics all the way through (I liked them by the way). Thanks for posting!

Then I started listening while reading, no problems there but I thought that was not a fair test.

So then I listened without reading and still undestood all the words so maybe it just takes a few listens to get all the phrasing down, especially since some of the melodys move around a lot.

Based on all that I would say it can stay as is, although if you could make that main vocal in the center a littler louder or more clear I would not complain. Sometimes I heard the low, and I mean low harmony, more than I think I should.

Hope this rambling makes sense.

By the way listening several more times was not work at all.
 
Hi SLuiCe,

You can't be looking at the words because then you can hear them. Good writing!

Without looking at them I'm struggled big time with;

Keep him alive for our stones.

Passing through slowly

To normal.

I'm not sure if I could have deciphered them without the words?
I don't think you can really articulate them perfectly without ruining the mood but if you do any re-recording maybe you can just keep it in mind.

Joe
 
Commenting just on the vocals.

For the most part the levels seem fine. I can hear everything pretty well. There is one section where there is a low vocal part that follows the melody line. The low part tended to make the vocal line just a little bit tough to hear. But I don't think I'd change anything about that.

I do think something slightly changes after the 2:00 mark. The vox seem a little further back in the mix.

Some words near the ends of phrases get a little quiet (e.g., the word "away" at :52, some more at about 4:19).

And I think this song would fit just fine on a CD with your other stuff.

In certain parts I get more of a Doors feel ("The End").
 
Brett- The bit about deep vocals, did you mean they should be warmer? Or lower? Also, when you mentioned how the vocal drifts into the music, that's what I'm shooting for, but I'd also like to preserve the lyric as much as possible. Good thoughts and good ears! Thanks for listening to it!

smokepole- Thanks a lot man. Long notes can be very difficult to articulate, and then to have it cut in a big mix is a challenge. Since this will never be on the radio, but maybe on cd I might not worry too too much about it afterall. I am interested in knowing what scale you have. The part I sung in the intro (stereo miked to two separate tracks) was kind of a close-your eyes-and-go improv thingy. I don't actually know the scale or mode, or lack thereof. But if you can point me to more learning in that area, I'd be overjoyed. And I appreciate the second critical listen....thank you!


skids-
So then I listened without reading and still undestood all the words so maybe it just takes a few listens to get all the phrasing down, especially since some of the melodys move around a lot.
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Quite possibly...I know that's how it was the first several times I listeed to Radiohead's OK Computer. Once I read the lyrics it was like looking at one of those hollogram pictures where you have to offset your eyes for a while to see it. Oh and I actually do have just blue lights and smoke in my room, and I raise the curtain before every take! And I'm really a fish. Alright enough.....thanks a lot skids, especially for that extra listen.

Toki- that door at the end of the hall is one very funny image. I like that....and I'm sure Sam would appreciate it too! :) It made me want to lock myself up for a couple of days and do something totally epic. Anybody wanna pitch in and pay my rent so I can take the week off to do that?

Anyone?

Ya, I didn't think so. Thanks a bunch Toki.

Triple M- I'm struggling a little with different systems and that low harmony mix. Guess it still needs work...thanks for that. I'll also look at the vocal variation(?) after 2:00. Curious. As for quieter words at the end of phrases, the vocal verses were performed to fade into the music, but might need some mixing adjustments based on what I'm hearing here. Thank you very much. I got your PM. I want an hour or so when I can sit down with your stuff and go through your message. I'm sure I'll learn a few things in the process, and hopefully help a little where I can too.

Sam and Mike- Hi Boys. When you're done in those salt mines, why don't you swing by for a toke and a tune? ;)
 
I been waiting to hear this one again, its just as good as I remember it....
Very mesmerizing and hypnotic...

This is an awesome song man, I think it would fit in nicely with the other "guitar" songs on your CD... It would definitely make a great final song...

I love that effect you use on the words "Splashes, flashes of light"... that reverse thing...

As usual, very intelligent lyrics, excellent vocal harmonies... this is a very addicting song.....

This totally kicks ass....:)
 
Damn! I knew there was something I was supposed to do this weekend!
 
Ok Sluice, I'm not fit to shine your sonic shoes but I've got something to say about this song as it feels to me right now.

(fiction)I'm on a beautiful journey through an amazing desert planet on some magnetic skiff....there's only one problem.
I'm surrounded by grown-ups...maybe I'm too young.


I live the Pink Floydeshness of it though. Far out man..
 
jake-owa said:
Ok Sluice, I'm not fit to shine your sonic shoes ....
Click to expand...

I feel that is the case with just about everyone here. I haven't really felt that I've read anything of REAL use to you from anyone actually, in any of your threads lately, even though you may deny that. At this point I think your posts are more in the " I wanna share this tune with you all" camp VS...help me with this mix, blah, blah, blah. You've got a handle on things and the (supposed) self claimed short lifespan of home recording you claim, makes things all that more incredible. When I was in school (waaaay back when), there were a couple of cats that shredded for 10 hours a day and after a year or so, they pretty much changed the way they played and did things. You're kinda in that camp, I would suppose.

Nice improvements. Makes it a new song to me... and of course it would fit on one of your CDs. Picking song order is a major thought process too, I am sure you know.
 
Well, Tom, you know me and my idosyncracies...I concur with the major consensus about the lyrics not poking through enough. I caught some of the lines and missed many, which is a damn shame because the words to this are pure poetry and VERY well written and sung. Heres my take: as is, the vocal is just another instrument in the mix when it should stand in the forefront as the focal point. The whole track is mixed real, real well. The song is excellent too.

If you gave me this tune to mix, I'd ask for the whole instrumental track as is. I would use less verb or ambience on the vocal, bring it up until I felt like you were talking to me--whatever that took. It might be EQ or just a level thing. Hard to know unless I had it up on the board and tried a few things. I think your singing is clear enough--good enunciation, pronunciation and all--that doesn't seem to be a problem. I just want to not strain to hear the message. Oh--the arabic melody in the front doesn't need to come up--its doing what its supposed to do.

As for inclusion on an album--I say sure. A great album has depth and variety. This song would definitely bring that to the table.
 
mixmkr said:
You've got a handle on things and the (supposed) self claimed short lifespan of home recording you claim, makes things all that more incredible.
Click to expand...

That sounds like more than an implication, mix. I always appreciate your feedback, but since this is the not the first time you've mentioned this, you're more than welcome to search my past threads starting when I first found the clinic in March 2002 and look at all the suggestions that had to be given to me. I could even repost those horrible horrible miodrange blasting MP3's for ya! And then follow it through. I may only have about 18 months into recording (at this point) but it's been pretty intense, with a lot of listening to the board. In fact I've almost lost my girlfriend over it, and wrote a song with Jeff Marcomb about it, (though I'm sure he has no clue that's what it was about :) ).

But I'll take that as a compliment and just offer it as encouragement to newbies. Read the rest of the posts here if you haven't yet. I can't catch everything!
And you're always welcome to critique- actually I hope you don't stop. It's keen ears like yours that I still need, just like I needed in March 2002. Thanks.

Kelly- Ya I remember you asked me about this tune. I'm glad you didn't miss it. That "splashes, flashes" line came out just like I heard it too! Glad you liked that bit of wierdness in me... hah! Thanks a lot!

Lt. Bob- Sorry Steve, it's been 3 months and I figured you weren't interested anymore, and didn't dare mention it again for fear of irritating you. I'm trying to get my collection polished up so I can move on to writing new songs. If you'd still actually like to add something to this, by all means please let me know! I respect you too much to pass that up. :)

Jake- haha...I love hearing about people's images. Very cool! Thanks

Crawdad- I hear ya. Most of my stuff in the last 6 months or so has had a pretty clean and dry up front vocal presence. A little something I kinda picked up from Dobro and a few others and blended the concepts I heard into my own mixes. Then I'd add reverb with subtle settings that made the verb present and kinda big, but not really all that noticable compared to this. I'll certainly try that approach after your suggestion. Might be just what this needs, and might also be what the others are trying to say. Thanks for taking the time, Al! Stay away from those anacondas. :D
 
Sluice..you've probably done this before but i'm very interested in your processes for recording. The sound you get is phenominal and i'm keen to see if its from the external gear you use or from mixing after the tracking.

I'm interested in what you think you do that makes your recordings sound the way they do. For example...I usually follow the same procedures with alterations here or there on most of my songs..guidelines if you will. Do you have any? Vocals are my main interest as they always seem to scrub up well and sound effortless and very smooth.

ps. Still hoping you might help me with my track if you get time :)
 
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