Tears and Mascara - do your worst...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Armistice
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Armistice

Armistice

Son of Yoda
Wow..

Been here on this damn board for 10 years and never even knew this forum existed...



So, those of you with 4 minutes and 15 seconds to spare, let me know what you think...

Thanks :drunk:
 
Armistice said:
Wow..

Been here on this damn board for 10 years and never even knew this forum existed...



So, those of you with 4 minutes and 15 seconds to spare, let me know what you think...

Thanks :drunk:
Click to expand...

Hey, I thought it was beautiful. It lost my interest around 2 minutes. Maybe you can read more into that than I can at the moment - but those were a good 2 minutes. I got goosebumps at one point (which is, for me, like... *the* sign of a good song). It's still playing and I'm still enjoying it. Two thumbs up, dude. :)

edit: After listening again, it's like "duh" - it lost my interest right where the vocal stopped and that little guitar interlude went down. I don't really dislike the guitar thing - just letting you know exactly how I reacted, as I figure that will be most useful to you.
 
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Yeah, I like the song. Didn't lose interest... :p Couldn't quite catch all the lyrics, but I got the sense you're beating up on this girl for crying.

The difference between this forum and the MP3 Clinic is lyrics, song structure and the like are disected and discussed here. In the MP3 clinic, you will get comments on all aspects of the song and mix.

In this forum, it would be good to post up the lyrics to help us follow along... If you're looking for all around comments, I can move this to the MP3 clinic if you'd like.

cheers,
 
Beating up on her... not really, more like trying to cheer her up by saying stupid things, as you do...

No need to move it, it's only a demo, not interested in feedback on recording quality, just the song itself.


Lyrics:


Hey panda girl, didn't anybody tell you that tears and mascara don't mix?
You may think an earthquake is shaking your world, it's nothing a liittle time won't fix
It's so damp in here from all of your crying that the furniture's starting to rot
And hey panda girl, you may think you're dying, but I'm pretty sure that you're not

Hey... hey...

Hey panda girl, this room's so full of tissues you know you really should clean up this mess
You used to go on about deforestation, well every tissue box is one tree less
Hey, just a minute, was that the start of a smile, be careful you'll disrupt the dark
Now now panda girl, if you don't stop crying, I'm gonna start building an ark

And hey... hey...

MUSICAL INTERLUDE

Hey panda girl, if I must save the animals then which ones am I gonna take
I might borrow a bible, get a few clues, and try not to make Noah's mistakes
'Cause, you know what, I'm thinking I'll just save the pandas 'cause they'll always remind me of you
'Cuase you won't be there girl, you're causing the flood, so you can't be on the boat too
You know panda girl, it is getting way too complex, at the time it seemed the idea
There's probably not much more that I can say now than better luck, better luck next time my dear

Dear.... dear....
Better luck next time my dear
Better luck next time my dear
(Beter luck next time..)
 
Tears and mascara is a great title - I was disappointed you did not work it into more of a hook (perhaps use that phase instead of the heys and dears sung in hamonry).

The lyrics and story line are very clever. The melody is nice and the instrumental interlude was interesting ....... but I kept waiting for more of a hook.

I enjoyed listening (and reading the lyrics) - although some of the vocal phrasing felt like a few words could be cut to make the phrases flow a little smoother.

On a whole - a good song ....... but I think a few re-writes with more of a focus on that great lyrical hook (tears and mascara) and smoother phrasing could makes this a very good song!!!!
 
I don't think it needs anything doing to it. Holds my attention all the way, nicely balanced with the solo being beautifully placed. Funny thing, tears and mascara don't mix, if the young crying damsels in distress I see on the streets of London in the twee hours are anything to go by. I like the lyric's kind of astute observation and the interesting imagery {deforestation, arks, rotting furniture, biblical clues, hypocondria}.
I wonder how my wife will respond if I call her 'panda girl'.....
 
Yeah, I like it. It has that nice English feel, something near Buckley or Turin Breaks - if you don't mind those comparrisons...?

The harmony's are strong and I love to hear that unpolished but emotive sound. Were they both you, or was a friend singing?
 
What's not to like about being compared to Buckley? Happy to take that one...

The lead singer is in fact the other half of the band, Richard, but that's me doing the first "Hey..." which obviously makes the song :laughings: ... and I also whisper "Better luck next time" at the end, clearly another high point in the vocal arrangement.. ;)

Yeah, mainly I stick to the writing and playing and let the man with the voice do the singing.. he's got a great tone.. and also writes at least half of our tunes as well.. it's a good partnership..

I'll start up a new post with another song.. me singing this time.. eewww... :eek:
 
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