Summerwind

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Mooed_Music

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I'd appreciate some thoughts about this song. First one I've written (read: completed) in a long time. Thanks.

 
Last edited:
I'd appreciate some thoughts about this song. First one I've written (read: completed) in a long time. Thanks.


Sounds a bit like counting crows. I like the intro, I like the verses, the chorus never really takes off for me.

Seems like it wants to go somewhere bigger than that but it doesnt. Not that the chorus is bad, it would probably me more of a filler track than a lead track. And i think the repeating chorus at the end is just filling up time, I like the harmonies and such but too much of the same, the song probably needs a bridge as well.

WOnt coment on the lyrics cause I cant hear them.

Not a bad song at all, i think you could make it alot better, good luck
 
Thank you kindly for the feedback. You are definitely right about the chorus. Back to the drawing board it is.
 
Are you looking for comments on the mix or specifically on the lyrics. You posted this in the songwriting section.
 
I was asking about the songwriting, but I'm not opposed to constructive criticism of any kind. I'm confident in my ability to write music. That is to say the guitar parts, fills, solos, etc. I'm not so confident in my lyrics, singing or melodies. Also, I'm way too new with mixing and recording to know how I will be with that.

Lyrics:

Summer wind, Calling out again
For you and I, and the pine

Never once
Backward you fall
for my patient call

There you are, inside the trampled dell
come and hear all the songs that wished us well
You were found under the captured sun
chase has sprung, my love, can't you tell

Madeline
Come back down again
I've never seen a day
With you away

And I, never see the end
till the fog it dissipates
and I can win

There you are, inside the trampled dell
come and hear all the songs that wished us well
You were found under the captured sun
chase has sprung, my love, please don't yell
 
Just looking at the songwriting, I think the lyrics are good and tell a story, the melody is easy to listen to, and the guitar work is good. The lead guitar part fits well with the song.
 
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