songwriting woes

[lesterpaul]

in my band i along with the singer write most of th songs ,here in lies th problem i want to use vivid imagery or at least tell a story ,he writes alot of fluff in my opinion i.e.

" girl you did me wrong all i got is a song ,there will come a day you will see it my way "

maybe not these exact words but you get my drift it just seems to be words to take up space and ryhme ,there is a time and place for these songs but not song after song
here are an actual sample of my lryics

"mother can you hear my cries i've fallen from your grace
the ways of sin have paid me well don't look upon my face
women wine and wasted time turned your boy into a man
years are growing darker as the youth slips from my hands "

what is everybody's thoughts am i just a jerk or standing up for th right thing .....thanks be a lil gentle tho ...lol

 

[limoguy]

Hey Lester,

I think you and your song writing partner are on two different wave lengths and perhaps two different levels of development in your song writing ability. Maybe it's time to look for another song writing partner?

Thought your lyric there was great by the way! Keep it up man!

JMHO

Limoguy

 

[Gidge]

theres only one solution with a band :

everyone is allowed to write lyrics, but only lyrics aprroved by EVERY member gets used.......

 

[Jagular]

Thought your lyric there was great by the way! Keep it up man!


Limoguy

Agreed. I see some fantastic potential in those four lines.

You might want to consider writing songs yourself on your own, for your own purposes & go ahead and keep co-writing the bubble gum stuff with & for the band. After all, there is a place for both. I know I need to learn to lighten up in my writing a little bit .

Good luck

 

[lesterpaul]

thanks ....

for all the input the only problem with not writing in the band is that right now it's my only vehicle for getting it out ....especially the positive feedback on the lyrics thanks again

 

[cardiff jon]

I agree your lyrics have potential, but you do say you want to use vivid imagery and storytelling, and I'd advise you to do exactly that. Obviously there's no rules about lyrics, but I think generally the more specific you are, the better. That's the strength of (say) Dylan up to the 'Desire' album or (say) Tom Waits on albums like 'Rain Dogs'. It's always good to have a clear idea of what a song is about and to follow that through.

 

[Layla Nahar]

" girl you did me wrong all i got is a song ,there will come a day you will see it my way "

maybe not these exact words but you get my drift it just seems to be words to take up space and ryhme

Yer right on the money with your assesment there. Taking a look at your lyrics, I would say that you guys are perhaps not on the same 'wavelenght' as someone said, for you to really be working together. Time to strike out on your own?

(You get artistic control when it your project, as opposed to being in a band)

LN

 

[hottrocker]

IMHO A lyric should stir the mind and engage the soul. I agree with the assesment that the words while they rhyme dont have any meaning.
As a songwriter one must dig deep within the darkest places in thier soul. Carve out a peice and sacrifice it to the world. These are the lyrics that live with us. We hear them and they go down deep.

How to keep from being poluted by this second grade attempt at writing? Let his songs be his....let yours be yours... and as with any other endeavor... keep your options open. There may be another group looking for REAL talent. Its easiser to look for a gig while you still have one.
BTW keep up the good stuff.