Run Away

[MessianicDreams]

hey guys (and girls!),

this is my latest song. i'd like to get some feedback on it - what d'you guys really think of this?? i tried to record 2 rythm guitars playin the same thing to creat a stereo effect....does it sound good?? i realise that the backin vocals are out of my range....but i'm a crap singer and couldn't sing a harmony line behind the chorus does it sound so bad that i should take it out?
i can also hear this song beggin' for some more instruments...maybe some bangin' drums? an organ, or maybe a string arrangement?? i'd love for someone to add some stuff to it.

www.nowhereradio.com/messianicdreams/singles

"Run Away"

cheers,

MD

Lyrics "Run Away"

I see her everyday
she makes me feel this way
and when she walks by
it makes me feel like i could fly

Chorus
And she don't even know
how i feel
and when i see her holding hands
with some other guy
it makes me want to ask her....
...." baby run away with me"

And when her boyfriend he,
he treats her like shit
it makes me loose my mind
it makes me wish that i was blind

Chorus
and she dont even know how i feel
and when i see her arguin'
with some other guy
it makes me want to ask her....
...." baby run away with me"

Bridge
and when i close my eyes
she all that i see
and when i open up my eyes
she's every where i see

Chorus
and she dont even know how i feel
and when i see her cryin'
with some other guy
it makes me want to ask her....
...." baby run away with me"

and lookin back on this
i realise i miss
the way things used to be
the way she used to smile at me

 

[Slackmaster2K]

Ok, the recording isn't really bad, but it could be a lot better.

The acoustic guitars sound ok, but they're just too muddy...you need to open them up a bit and get rid of that boom, play with mic placement. The levels are kind of all over the place too, which is accentuated by the hard stereo panning (e.g. they go back and forth in your ears...distracting). This might be alleviated partially by not panning them so hard, and/or using compression.

The lead vocals are ok in terms of clarity and proportion. They're totally dry though, they really need some room (reverb!). They could also use a little grit IMO...maybe a different mic/preamp combination.

The harmony vocals aren't bad, but you're right that they do go out of tune with the lead vocal. You should either get rid of them or redo them until you get something more in tune (I think the problem is more the lead vocal than the harmony)...out of tune vocal harmonies are one thing that even an average person will cringe at (although out of tune lead vocals you can get away with depending on the music).

It's usually recommended to turn your guitar solos up nice & loud, but in this case I'd recommend setting the guitar solo back a bit....mainly because it's not really a "solo", just more of a little melody break...it's not that interesting on it's own, but good in the context of the song. When you have it cranked up that much, it's like you're saying OK EVERYBODY HERE IS A COOL GUITAR SOLO...when that's not what the part really wants to be

You could definately add a LOT to this arrangement...a bass guitar, any kind of percussion would work, more guitar fills between verses and such would be good. I think you could add another level of melody to the song, since the vocal melody doesn't really do much....a counter melody during that guitar solo section....I dunno, a lot could be done, the progression should be easy to add to.

Good work!

Slackmaster 2000

 

[chrisharris]

Man, you're not that far away from getting a really cool acoustic sound. It sounds like the instrument itself is decent. Tracking them in stereo is always gonna' earn you bonus points with me...especially the little lead break.

To get that "shine" on the acoustics, all you really need to do is cut some of the lows out of it. I shouldn't even try to guess, b/c each guitar is different, but some real frequent offenders for me are around 125Hz, 330Hz, 220Hz...not too wide, then cut as many lows as you can below 80Hz. The high end sounds pretty good to me, really.

You asked for honesty. Even if you nail the bg vox on this, I'm not sure that they really help. They're more of a distraction right now, mostly b/c they're mixed too loud. Personally, I'd take 'em out.

Now, on the lead vocal, slap a little reverb on that puppy...LOL. Also, I know it's a personal ("artisitic") choice, but with such a sparse arrangement, you'd better change the phrasing of the vocal up some...or a lot. Monotone vocals work well with huge swelling distorted guitars or if you're Bob Dylan (but even then, not really). Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes rules at taking kinda' "blah" chord progressions and singing over them in a way that keeps you interested.

OK, that's what I REALLY think, LOL.

Post more.

 

[kjam22]

And when her boyfriend he,
he treats her like shit
it makes me loose my mind
it makes me wish that i was blind


A lot of insight, creativity, and thought in this part??

Treats her like a moonless night
Treats her like a fallen angle
Treats her like a burned out star
Treats her like a rabid dog
Treats her like a grain of sand
Treats her like a 64 Plymouth
Treats her like a ...... etc