Rebellionaires

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jake-owa

jake-owa

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So this one is more of a pre-mix. The last song I posted got so many great and very observant remarks that I decided to start posting a bit earlier in the mix process...I spent about 20 minutes on this.

I think I have all the instruments I'm gonna use on it the song is kinda sparse. Any ideas are appreciated though.

I intentionally mixed the vox a bit loud since the number one complaint I get is quiet or muffled vocals.

Fire away, be the producer!

Thanks for listening!

Rebellionaires
 
This is way tripped out!

Hey this is really different. Snare sounds funky to me but that is just preference. I like the piano parts. Vocals sound a bit outta key in spots...but that may be what you are after with such a slow brooding type of arrangement. This makes me think of downtowntown New York...and heroin addicts. I don't know why. Good mix... a little brightening of it would help...but that is also an individual preferance thing.
 
It's pretty cool. The vocals are nice & wide, and I like the delayed track.

I like the low end a lot, or at least it has a lot of potential.

I don't like when the drums go into straight 4 though...I don't understand why they do that, although maybe it'll make more sense once you finish it.

This definately needs to go somewhere....something more needs to happen, or it needs to be shorter IMO.

Good work.

Slackmaster 2000
 
You know what i hear in the back of this? Sultans of Swing style guitar riffs...
 
I kinda thought it went somewhere...

Thanks for listening guys.
 
I dig this. When it started I was gettin a kinda 21st century Mickey Spillane private eye show feel, ya know, with cars that fly around instead instead of drivin' around. Nice open spaces in there too. the drums were "neo-something", cool. I thought right before the harmonies came in it was a little to low and I couldnt understand all the words. 'Cool and unusual them there.
 
jake-owa said:
So this one is more of a pre-mix. The last song I posted got so many great and very observant remarks that I decided to start posting a bit earlier in the mix process...I spent about 20 minutes on this.

Other than the obvious lack of polish, this sounds pretty damn good. Nice tracking!

The groove is kinda wobbly though. Has a tentative feel to it.

Was the lack of a hook intentional?
 
Re: Re: Rebellionaires

M.Brane said:
Other than the obvious lack of polish, this sounds pretty damn good. Nice tracking!

The groove is kinda wobbly though. Has a tentative feel to it.

Was the lack of a hook intentional?
Very. I wanted the vocal harmony to be the only build toward the end.

Tenative is exactly what I was going for here.
 
Here're the lyrics:

"I'm in the middle of you , you're at the heart of what i am
You give simple things a meaning I can only struggle to understand
A mild emotion but an overwhelming sense of soul, and I know it's been said before but something just to fill that hole
The further I search the more I see the answer fading in front of me
I realize at a point if you want to be free that you've got to believe
So while rebellionaires stand in line for the chance to fall
I'll open my third eye and slip inside to ignore it all
I'm on the outside and I like it that way don't try to suck me under
Your life......under your lies.....under your, your mind....you're...
You're on my mind this time I've finally made contact, pelase don't kill our connection, this introspection, this feild of protection.

And though the code is written so no human mind can unfold doesn't mean you can't break it's hold on you
What you do, a world away
Everyday, takes it's toll but you don't know
You're ten clicks past you've missed the mark, you're lost in time you're blind, born in the dark,
born in the dark of a mind in the dark of a mind now..
You've come full circle to find you don't know where you're going
and it shows in everything you do,
but it's over for you....."
 
It's got a cool vibe but I keep waiting for the guitar to kick in or something. I'd like to hear more rockin drums.
 
Trippy tune dude.... Its kinda quirky, kinda 1940's-futuristic-zappa on seconal type of feel to it...
Maybe a couple well placed sound affects, maybe some beefier drums, a little layed back guitar...
Maybe a few seconds of a chick in the backround, bitching about something...:p






:)
 
Hearing some Zappa...oh,someone said it already.Trippy and different.Mix is bass heavy IMO.The doubling and harmonies could be mixed a bit better.The overall recording is great,you've captured a great sound for your voice...reminds me of Beck a little too.Lots of air in the recording,spacous and ambient.The piano is a nice touch.You forgot to write down a coupla lines
"...how heavy is the evidence..." ,something like that.Hate the drums,they are a bit boring and when they switch up to the double time it seems to push the song in a frantic direction that takes away from the nice mellow feel you had in the slower beat.You have definately brought your own style to this jam and it's working well.Keep it up.

ps-thanx for your honest review,glad I can count on you...
 
Thanks all!

Yeah W.I.S.C., I know my drumming sucks. These songs are sort of demo quality, anything good will eventually be tracked to 1" 16 track when that side of my studio is completed. By then I will have real drummers beating my door down!:rolleyes:

The missing lyric is: "how heavy is the evidence as it renders you impotent", sorry.

I really don't know where all the Zappa comments are coming from, maybe I should check his stuff out sometime.
 
Good start. I don't know where your going with it, but it seems like the whole tune is going to transform if you hit it with an alternate part/sound from another direction.

Good one

Joe
 
Hey Jake,
...nice tune man. I like the almost velvet underground vibe that im getting from this. I think the vocals wouldnt sound quite "so" in your face if your dropped one of those doubled vocs back a little. That would also clean up some of the pitchiness. Nice tune man.....g:)
 
I think the vocal level is fine, since the song is focussed on the words.

I've got a similar take on the drums as Slack - the less busy drumming sounded better to me. Interestingly, I listened through two different sets of headphones, and the snare sounded fine through the darker cans but sounded really small and tinny and dumb through the bright cans. I've noticed that with some of my mixes, they'll sound okay in lots of listening environments, and then they sound crappy on something I hadn't considered, like discman earphones, for example.

I like the way the drums and bass and tinkly piano noodle away in the background and provide an unobtrusive setting for the vocals, which are kinda understated anyway. So I think sparse and spare suits this one right down the line. So as a producer, I'd say: add nothing. If anything, simplify the drumming.

Good one. Interesting exploration, sir!
 
Hey man, sorry if i repeat anyone...

Did you use two mics for the stereo vocals? Sounds good. i like to use two condensors for that effect.

Drums...well it's a matter of preference. I'd like them to sound more full, real... maybe progressively getting bigger sounding with gradually larger verb rooms.

Also, i'd like to hear a version with the piano occupying just a touch more space. Right now it sounds like it could stay or go, but if it was spread out more across the stereo field and/or raised in volume, maybe it would add more depth to the overall picture and sound stage. Perhaps it would even provide a deeper backdrop for the vocals.

Just some thoughts...sounds great. Fresh.
 
Slow, kinda boring. Didn't jump out at me at all. Kinda made me feel sleepy when listening to it. But don't let that stop you, because I've heard stuff like this at 3:00am on VH1 and Much Music so I'm sure there's a market for it. It just didn't grab me at all.
 
Hey now, sorry it wasn't your thing homey. thanks for the listen anyhow. I'm not looking for a 'market' for my music, in fact that is some of the subject matter of my songs.

Thanks Sluice, I'm honored to get your expert ear, I love your stuff 9 times out of 10 and the other time I just like it alot.

I didn't stereo mic the vocal just doubled and harmonized (if you can call it that). I'm kinda limited in mic choice and really any nice gear but now that things are picking up for me you should be hearing some better mixes. Check this one out when I post it again in a couple weeks, I think you will find your suggestions followed.

W.I.S.C, Gerunica, and Dobro thank you guys for the thoughts, I respect your collective (musical) opinion and let me know how the mix is in a few.

I'm trying to get a real drummer for a few tunes and it looks like things might work out...we'll see.

Thanks everyone and please let this thread die unless you can't help but tell me how this song ruined your life or something...that would be cool.
 
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