PiltdownMan here... can you handle another one?

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PiltdownMan

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Okay... after my horrible post last night, I made time with a local gorgeous, six-foot-tall bar-tendress named Amanda (I'm six-foot-four -- you do the math) who may do the cover art for my new album. Obviously, I'm psyched.

This song is called Kiss Me 'Til I Bleed, and it's basically a love song. It's about being so in love that it hurts. Some of the lyrics are a little cheesy, but cut me some slack, if you can.

This is a much happier song than my others, and I think it shows in the music and lyrics.

Let me know where the weak spots are. Thanks!

No deep linking... here you go:

http://www.nowhereradio.com/piltdownman/singles

(I'm going to post the lyrics -- risking more flames) :-)

Kiss Me ‘Til I Bleed

Kiss me ‘til I bleed
Love me ‘til I beg and plead
Touch me ‘til I burn
To the point of no return

[CHORUS]
Take me to your master on her throne of alabaster
She will spin her wheel of pleasure
Ecstasy too great to measure
Take me to a place so high
My heart will burst and soak the sky
Everyone will envy me

Kiss me ‘til I scream
Love me ‘til I think it’s a dream
Touch me ‘til I cry
So happy that I’ll never, ever die

Kiss me ‘til I ache
Love me ‘til I shudder and shake
Touch me ‘til I’m high
Make me laugh and moan and sigh

You can take me
You can break me
You can make me anything you want
 
From the depths of darkness comes happy sunshine!

Happy little track. Me like.

Recording mix suggestions;

Bring down the distorted rhythm guitar a notch. It is too loud.

Lead guitar is slightly out of tune in spots and a bit low in the mix. Bring it up a db.

Vocals are nice but a little low both in level and high frequencies. They seem heavily eq'ed to sound that flat. Brighten them up a touch.

Will we hear a Polka tune from you next??

Cheers! :)
 
You have a real Rick Okasek type sound to your voice. I like the doubling, nice effect.
The SR16 snare needs some work in the roll/fills. The guitars sound a bit too Pod or directish. The part where the clean guitar comes in at 2:48 is way too abrupt.
Yeah, it's cheesy but not the worst.

You do a good job overcoming your limits in your music.
 
Thanks for the suggestions.

I hate the snare, too. Especially in the one part where it's kind of alone and leads into the next section. It sounds SO fake. I'm not sure what to do about that. I can't afford the DrumKit from Hell or any of the "good" samples that one actually has to pay for.

This is a first mix, but I wondered about the vocals and the level. I appreciate the insight.

You probably won't hear polka from me, but, seriously, my sound is very eclectic, and you may be surprised how different the next song I post is.

I'm working on Future Cities of the Past, about how we're not driving flying cars and wearing metallic jumpsuits like the 50s and 60s pundits said we would be by now. And I have another song in progress that sounds like a Silent Hill soundtrack song, in my opinion.

Thanks for the input and the listen!
 
Hey man you do what you can and it's plenty.
Diversity is an important factor in my writing as well. I never know what I'll be in the mood for.
 
Cool, drivin' tune - nice guitar chops, too.
I heard a few (very minor) out-of-tune sections, too. The only reason I bring it up is: Do you have the cans cranked when you're recording? I often do - and that's when the out of tune shit happens. When it's cranked in the cans the ears get fatigued and start to lie. Just a side note -like I said it's a minor thing.

Let's see - that style of pickin' - kinda southern rock-ish - my favorite - nice work!
Milan
 
Pilt, great guitar tone. I don't care for the drum samples you used though. Cool song.
 
PiltdownMan

Welcome to the bbs BTW:)
You got some song writin chops friend.
Just keep producing music and lets see where it leads shall we.
I just hope you keep us in the loop because I think you have something to offer here!
Good for you:D
 
Nice uptempo song.
Drums sound like a backing track - not a patch on the fantastic drum sound you got in the other song.
Good clear consistent vocals. You got a lot of songwriting nous. Well done
 
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