Piltdown Man here... NoWhere

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PiltdownMan

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Here's one I'm working on. Please ignore the lead guitar solo... too drunk to record a solo right now. :-) j/k, but I've had a few, which kills my playing ability.

Comments?

Song title: NoWhere

www.nowhereradio.com/piltdownman/singles

Here's the lyrics:

I live my life in darkness, in the shade of sentient trees
Feeding on stolen sunlight, I struggle to fly on the poison breeze
I can feel the disease in my eyes as I visualize your game
An institution built on shame

I wanna be far away
I wanna be free of this decay
I wanna be unaware
I want to be nowhere

I try to hide from darkness under the waves of hateful seas
Breathing in borrowed reason and unconfirmed hypotheses
I can only hold on for so long 'til the current will sweep me away
Before your paradigm betrays

I try to believe in darkness, under the dust of windswept plains
sleeping with death behind me
I struggle to dream to ease my pain
I give in to the whim of the few who will tell me who I have to be
Who am I to disagree?
 
Wow....all I can say is wow...

I need to listen a few more times to be able to help at all.
 
Woah...........................


I thought I wrote heavy hearted lyrics..............shit......
a couple of comments though.......

I know what a paradigm is because I have studied business practices in manufacturing......looking out of the box.....out of the normal accepted S.O.P.s

I don't think joe blow does though....

Breathing in borrowed reason and unconfirmed hypotheses

? :confused:
I think I get that line......it's like you hear bullshit from others that talk out of their ass...........and it bugs you....me too man....
I think I got that one....I could be wrong though....

I really like the chorus...very cool and catchy........

The recording is good but, undynamic.....something needs to come to the front and grab us by our balls and twist....ya know?

and....BTW....if you were drunk when you did the lead.....let me know when you are sober...I wanna hear because I thought your performance was excellent..........drunk and all :D

Take it easy man,
Joe
 
I LIKE this song

I don't know what to say to qualify that statement.
I like the........Spanish influence.
At least that is what it feels like, I could be wrong.
Nice song, interesting lyrics.
 
joro

Thanks for listening, joro.

Little background: the whole song is about being sort of the only sane person in a world of idiocy and being held back for thinking or being different. It's a bit of hyperbole, of course. Anyway, the particular line you mention about borrowed reason, etc. refers to breathing in a certain environment, not breating IN something, like air. It's breathing in an environment of irrational and ignorant people (in a metaphorical hateful sea, obviously, given the "under the waves of hateful seas" line). Maybe it doesn't make any sense. I don't know.

I hear the lifeless comment a lot for some reason. Is it the way I sing? My voice? The mix? What? I can't seem to shake that. I know my voice is extremely sub-par, but I don't know what else to do.

By the way, a paradigm, as I understand it, is a worldview, a philosophy of life, so to speak. :-)

Piltdown Man
 
Piltdown man,

I remember hearing this before.

This sounds like a fresh re-do and a very good one!

The vocals seem much clearer and cleaner now! I guess the new Mic is coming in handy!

The guitar work is what I have come to expect from you, Fabulous!

This is a great and very original arrangement and drunk or sober, you know what your doing and getting better at it every single time I hear you.

Keep up the fine original work and keep posting, man!

Cheers! :)
 
Re: joro

PiltdownMan said:
Thanks for listening, joro.

Maybe it doesn't make any sense. I don't know.
Click to expand...

Sure it does man....

I hear the lifeless comment a lot for some reason. Is it the way I sing? My voice? The mix? What? I can't seem to shake that. I know my voice is extremely sub-par, but I don't know what else to do.

By the way, a paradigm, as I understand it, is a worldview, a philosophy of life, so to speak. :-)
Click to expand...

a paradigm....you say Toe-may-toe..I say tah-mah-toe....same same man...I dig it....

It's the mix....you sing good man....a hell of a lot better than I do....what I was refering to is that in almost every song I hear....something stands out up and above everything else....
your mix seems so well balanced that nothing really does that....ya know?

Of course..I am probably full of shit....at least my ears anyways :D

Take it easy man,
Joe :D
 
Ghost: Thanks for listening. Your praise is definitely undeserved, but thank you. I hear so many flaws in this, it's depressing. But that's me, I guess. :-) Hence, the lyrics... well, and most of my other lyrics. I appreciate the fact that you'll take the time to listen.

Joro: I also say po-tah-toe. Is that bad? :-) What, in your opinion, should stand out? I'm not sure what to focus on.

Piltdown Man
 
PiltdownMan said:
Joro: I also say po-tah-toe. Is that bad? :-) What, in your opinion, should stand out? I'm not sure what to focus on.

Piltdown Man
Click to expand...

Well....................... :D


I am a rookie at this stuff but on a tune like this..........Big bassy drums....nice cymbals.....and loud controlled distorted guits...I love guitar tone man...all kinds....

And.....I say Spud :D is that bad? lmao!

Be cool man,
Joe
 
Cool intro ... sucked me right in.

Nice 'direct ?' guitar sound.

Vox mixed very well, can understand EVERY word with ease, clean concise pronunciation.

Cool chorus hook.

This chromatic movement in your voice in the chorus seems to be building into you primary 'zappish influence', I remember he did a lot of that.

Your vox is actually 'down in the mix', the instruments are generally hotter than your vox, but when the backup vox comes in, you climb to level with the mix, or jump out a bit, the song would benifit from just a bit hotter vox, and I think everything you need to do with the vox is 1db louder and some EQ.

When you come out of the dirty guitar at exactly 3:00 no doubt, that is excellent, we 'drop' there with you. Good cut. Young man ... is that a pistol I hear ? Have you been playing with guns again.

At 03:35, the level of the Vox is nearing perfect, but I would prefer to be blown down by the vocal there. You can generally promote tension with this ... 'constrained vocal' ... but your previous posts have been extremely dynamic, and it seems you are going in a direction that is generally cleaner, more compressed.

Hey ... cool lyrics man.

My favorite point in the song is what happens with the line 'An institution built on shame'.

I think therealwaldo.com might be interested in using parts of this as theme music for his 'nowhere' series of websites, you should approach him.

Your best so far, the 'Head' song is now my second favorite. I want to hear more vocal dynamic from you here, I feel like you are pouring it all into the instruments at this point.

And your vocal here is the best so far, make more of it please.
 
Lol, even capitalized the W like I do ;)

I'll listen as soon as it's late enough to blast the speakers....

W.
 
Hey, this is very good.

Like the song and the playing.

Mixwise I could use some more highs in the guitars, less mids. A bit of reverb won't hurt either. :)

Vox sound a little seperated from the rest, especially in the verses. Seems more an eq than a volume issue, but I'm not sure.
 
I enjoyed the song a lot. Cool guitar sound at the beginning. It sets things up nicely. I think you have everything pretty well mixed level wise IMO. I think you problem lies in that the vox seem separate from the music. I think you could stand to add more verb to the vox and even more to those backups. They seem really dry. You may need to then bring them up to adjust for the reverb effect. You might want even tamper with some delays. I think they may work well in this song. I like the clarity of vox now so make sure you are bussing and blending those FX to keep that clarity.

One more thing, I think you a have little too much low end in the rhythm guitar in the chorus. Try rolling some of that off.

Really loved the feel. Nice work.

Listened again, you may also need a little EQ on those vox to make them sit better after the verb. Maybe a touch more high end.

Nice guitar work.
 
Thanks for the listen, everyone. Virtually all of your suggestions are spot-on, which is exactly why I come to this place. Honestly, I didn't expect as many positive comments as I received. This is basically unmixed (meaning all the faders are just set at one place and left, and I just used the default values in the few effects I've added so far) and recorded in about 8 hours from conceiving the song, writing the lyrics and recording all the parts. I mean, I know it still needs work, but I'm still surprised by the positivity.

Unless you're just being nice because my lyrics make you think I'm depressed. :-)

Anyway, I'll work on it and try to fix the issues that were brought up. Thanks!

Yours truly,
Piltdown Man
 
Maybe just me but the vox seem to be hidden just a smidge in the verse, but I really like the delivery on them. I'm really digging the spanish lead in the intro, this is cool.

Great job.
 
I like the vocal, its cool and smooth. IT could use a bit more very high crisp and some more level to define it a bit over the rythym. Maybe a touch more compression or envelope automation to keep the low passage up. The vocal eq is very close to the eq of the guitar voice so it needs some sparkle to set it out more. The rest was really nice. A bit of the mid punch on the strong rythym during the solo could be pulled back a tad and add a sprinkle of sizzle to it. I like the rest very well..
 
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