What you want in a patchbay is:
1. Both normalized and non-normalized modes. A "parallell" mode that lets you split signals is a plus.
2. Easy switching of channel modes. Doing this without unscrewing the patchbay is a big plus. Doing it from a switch on the front is the best.
3. 1/4" jacks on both sides. Bantam jacks and soldering jacks are fine if you are doing a studio installation with fixed cabling in the walls. Otherwise you need 1/4" jacks on both sides. Really.
4. Balanced connections is another plus. Usually not necessary but when you do want balanced connections it's nice. Note that you should avoid running mics through standard patchbays, both because you don't want to put phantom power there, and both becuase the mic signals are so weak. But the day you do have a balanced signal, it will be annoying not to be able to run it through the patch bay.
This fits the bill:
http://www.samsontech.com/products/productpage.cfm?prodID=1656&brandID=2
This ones require you to flip cards to change the config, meaning you need to do some unscrewing and unplugging. But it's muh cheaper, and it IS Neutrik. Quality stuff.
http://www.neutrik.com/content/Products/products_group.asp?level2id=204_844827625
This Hosa patch bay is balanced sometimes:
http://www.hosatech.com/hosa/products/PHB-265.html
And this one is balanced, but like the Neutrik you get to flip cards in stead of switches:
http://www.hosatech.com/hosa/products/PHB-350.html
No, it won't degrade you signal chain, unless you use really crappy or extremely long cables (which you don't).
Yes, they will wear out. Nothing lasts for ever.