opinions on a song?

  • Thread starter Thread starter nickjc
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nickjc

New member
hey everyone,

I just discovered the wonders of soundclick and posted my first mp3, "satisfaction guaranteed" on there. I'd love to hear what anybody thinks? the link is:

www.soundlick.com/nickjc

The songs are pretty poorly recorded I know (a situation I am rectifying at the moment with the help of this board). they were recorded with a computer mic below line level (before I knew about line level, or pre amps), so you'll have to turn your speakers up a bit.

any suggestions and criticism are more than welcome. I know its not the best, but I want it to get better, so fire away

cheers,

nick jc
 
Do you want opinions on the recording or the song structure etc?
 
sorry, shold have been clearer,

any opinions really - mainly the song structure at this stage as I know I'm gonna re-record it cos obviously this first version is pretty shite, but I appreciate your comments on the recording as well - then I can take them into account when I do re-record :)
 
Sorry for the double post. This forum doesnt seem to update that quickly. Cool, im a FLStudio user too, though had no experience in cool edit.

Okay here goes - in no particular order as Im listening to the track on loop.

Lyrics - hmmm, should this song be called "Drug Dealer's lament"? Quite a nice little "double entendre" running through the song, gives it a quirky edge (kinda reminds me of Green Day). Depending on your thoughts on this, maybe introducing some "drug" sound effects after the choruses of inhaling/exhaling, the click of a zippo lighter, or chopping metal on a mirror in time with the hihats - although keep it subtle so that it doesnt turn into a blatant advert for intoxicants!

Vocal rhythm on the "middle of the night" sounds a bit rushed, maybe you could re-write the lyrics to let it fit in better and lock it in with the chorus.

Drum track (snare, hats and cymbals) needs a little reverb (only subtle) something like a room or short plate.

Acoustic guitars sound nice in the breakdown and throughout the track, but I think a bit more bite (maybe some gentle overdrive) on the guitars in the chorus would help lift it up from the verse a bit more as presently the strumming in the chorus sounds a little blunt (like the sound of rusty strings)

I think the hook is pretty catchy, but needs a wicked middle eight or something to really bring the chorus back home at the end. Also some harmonies on the last chorus would sound quite nice.

Try extending the ending by a bar by adding a finishing riff. At present, I think the one beat ending doesnt quite work as it cuts the listener off from what theyve just heard. A little motif at the end would really help to round the song off.

This is my first time reviewing a demo officially, so I hope I havent offended you! Hope it helps!
 
cheers

hey cheers,

you haven't offended me at all. it's really cool to get feedback. funnily enough, I was debating with myself whether to put a middle 8 in and then another double chorus at the end - you think this is a good idea then?

it's funny that you pick up on the whole drug-thing, cos I never thought of that at all until you said it. wait, amybe I should be saying yeah, I know, what a great songwriter am I. . . but now that would just be dishonest.

many thanks for the comments - I will take them into account when I re-record it.would be interested to hear what you think of anything else on the site if you get time. if not, cheers for the crticism. wuz real helpful

nick jc
 
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