'Nother PoeticIntensity Original - Taking Gerg's Advice...

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PoeticIntensity

PoeticIntensity

MagicJones.com (is a website)
Okay... I'm posting this for 2 reasons.

  1. I did a pretty deep analysis of my mixes after Greg's comments on my last mix during his last contest. I then created and mixed this song with the whole "harshness" thing in mind. This mix was mixed at pretty much all levels, and I tried my best to address the harshness issue. Did it work? Was it too much? Let me know.
  2. There are spots between the verses that are empty. I know people on here have talent. Anyone care to play along, and put leads, synths, random sounds, whatever, etc... in those spots and see if they can improve the sound of the song? Go for it. Show me your talent! Get famous! AND RICH! Okay.. nevermind... Neither of those will happen with this song, but hey... at least you can see if you can help a song improve... :D

Thanks! For this one, I'm playing everything... Any other comments on anything in the mix are also welcome.

Should I

Should I - updated mix

Should I - updated mix 2

Should I - updated mix 3
 
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Not bad. It's definitely not harsh. I can crank it and it's not killing my ears. It's a little big in the bottom. Normally that's a pretty good thing, but you've got a little mud happening that's masking the kick under the bass. I can hear the click of the beater, but nothing behind it. There's very little kick body, which would serve a song like this well. Play with he bass and kick to get them seperated more, but still present.
 
I think you should bring the vocals up a bit. Struggling to hear what you're saying. Bass, Kick, Lead Vocals at the same level. Is there a flanger or chorus on the vocals? Not sure if I like them, maybe in just one verse or chorus.... personal preference.

Good song. It has potential, I'd like to see you do more with it. Maybe someone will step up.

peace,
 
wow pretty dark compared to your last...love the bass and the entire groove of the song...the little guitar parts were very 80s, is it infectious?! :eek: :)


vocals did need to come up, and the bass is a little muddied....but I like the tune, a lot...i think this just needs a little tweaking...not sure what you'd get someone to add to it, you may ruin is simplicity...maybe something along the lines of industrial percussion or something would add interest?? I can hear a metallic beat banging in the background of this and a choice vocal sample (quasi religious??) would fit too...in my head, which is fucked :D
 
Greg_L said:
Not bad. It's definitely not harsh. I can crank it and it's not killing my ears. It's a little big in the bottom. Normally that's a pretty good thing, but you've got a little mud happening that's masking the kick under the bass. I can hear the click of the beater, but nothing behind it. There's very little kick body, which would serve a song like this well. Play with he bass and kick to get them seperated more, but still present.
Click to expand...

Alright... Cool.. If the only thing you've got to nit is the muddy bass-end, then I'm good. Mission successful. To be honest, I played the bass on this WAY different than with any of my other songs. I pounded it, and it was incredibly fun. I love playing bass. I'm gonna take a look at separating the kick / bass, and upping the punch in the kick. I was so concerned with the high-end, I completely forgot about the low end. Thanks for the listen, Greg. As soon as I can, I'll give ya rep.

Chili said:
I think you should bring the vocals up a bit. Struggling to hear what you're saying. Bass, Kick, Lead Vocals at the same level. Is there a flanger or chorus on the vocals? Not sure if I like them, maybe in just one verse or chorus.... personal preference.

Good song. It has potential, I'd like to see you do more with it. Maybe someone will step up.

peace,
Click to expand...

Vocals on this one were difficult. My dry vocals are way, way too operatic for songs like this. Yes, there's a chorus effect on them, and it's gotta stay. *sigh*... Not entirely sure what to do about the vocals, because they really are just another instrument in this mix. As soon as they become too prominent, they destroy the feeling of the song, yet buried as they are, they're unintelligible. I'll keep working on it.

Thanks Chilli. Good comments.

kcearl said:
wow pretty dark compared to your last...love the bass and the entire groove of the song...the little guitar parts were very 80s, is it infectious?! :eek: :)


vocals did need to come up, and the bass is a little muddied....but I like the tune, a lot...i think this just needs a little tweaking...not sure what you'd get someone to add to it, you may ruin is simplicity...maybe something along the lines of industrial percussion or something would add interest?? I can hear a metallic beat banging in the background of this and a choice vocal sample (quasi religious??) would fit too...in my head, which is fucked :D
Click to expand...

Thanks, Keith. Ya like the simplicity, do ya? Well, then... We'll keep it as it is. I had a friend of mine try to put a lead guitar over the dry parts, and though he did it 5 different times, they just couldn't seem to fit in... Maybe I'll keep it as it is.

Thanks for the comments, guys... Another mix of this should pop up soon.
 
Holy shit that's a great guitar sound, Jason! Love the ringy snare.
Great rockin' tune, what I felt it needed was a proper hookline. It's kind of short too, great rif though. Really like it. :)
 
joeym said:
Holy shit that's a great guitar sound, Jason! Love the ringy snare.
Great rockin' tune, what I felt it needed was a proper hookline. It's kind of short too, great rif though. Really like it. :)
Click to expand...

Coming from you, Joey, that's a huuuuge compliment on the guitars. Thank you! Yeah... I've been going through a spiff of short songs which mostly just serve as guitar practice, as well as recording practice... I have no plans on releasing any of these on any sort of CD.

Thanks again.
 
Generally really good. I like the drum sounds. Everything on them sounded good.

I thought the bass and guitars had a bit of mud to them.

I thought the vocals were a little buried. And I wasn't a fan of the effects on them (delay? Chorus?). Was there a vocal edit at :55? Sounded like it.
 
TripleM said:
Generally really good. I like the drum sounds. Everything on them sounded good.

I thought the bass and guitars had a bit of mud to them.

I thought the vocals were a little buried. And I wasn't a fan of the effects on them (delay? Chorus?). Was there a vocal edit at :55? Sounded like it.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the compliments on my drums.

Hmmm... Another vote for guitar mud... I'm definitely going to look into that, then. I'm finding that as I'm getting better at mixing in general, that my room might be a bit lacking in focus of the low-end. Gotta start getting serious about bass traps, and learning how to mix the mud out.

Also - yeah... I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about the vocals, but I agree - they're pretty buried. Also - no vocal edit @ .55 . I heard something funky too... I'll see what I can find tonight.
 
Hey man...I think you've already gotten a lot of good advice on this one, but I'm checking it out and loving the drum sound on this.

I think somewhere between the kick, the bass guitar and the crunchy guitars you have some undesirable overlap there. If they could be separated a bit more I think the low end would clean up nicely.

Agreed on the vocals being a bit buried.

It's a cool riff alright. I did find myself anticipating a change up in the arrangement which didn't really happen to the extent that I might have liked, but maybe not so necessary in a shorter, straight forward rock tune such as this.

None of this stuff is a big deal, as it sounds real good overall, just trying to find some things that might help :). Nice work dood!
 
I like what you got here it sounds real good to me.

Too much bottom?

I got to check into how I track because I like that.

I got too much high end on my stuff. Maybe I'm too much of a guitarist. Lol.

Jam on dude.

Trump
 
heatmiser said:
Hey man...I think you've already gotten a lot of good advice on this one, but I'm checking it out and loving the drum sound on this.

I think somewhere between the kick, the bass guitar and the crunchy guitars you have some undesirable overlap there. If they could be separated a bit more I think the low end would clean up nicely.

Agreed on the vocals being a bit buried.

It's a cool riff alright. I did find myself anticipating a change up in the arrangement which didn't really happen to the extent that I might have liked, but maybe not so necessary in a shorter, straight forward rock tune such as this.

None of this stuff is a big deal, as it sounds real good overall, just trying to find some things that might help :). Nice work dood!
Click to expand...

Thanks Heat. Yeah... I listened to this last night on my monitors, and realized there is no body at all to the kick. I've gotta get that thing thumping - as well as see if I can separate the kick / bass. Thanks for listening!

trumpino1 said:
I like what you got here it sounds real good to me.

Too much bottom?

I got to check into how I track because I like that.

I got too much high end on my stuff. Maybe I'm too much of a guitarist. Lol.

Jam on dude.

Trump
Click to expand...

Thanks Trump. I actually tried something pretty wacky to get rid of the harsh highs which usually come from my mastering program... When I jack up the volume, the 2-3K range becomes really, really annoying - mostly from my drums. So, to tame it a bit this time, I copied my overheads to new tracks, and put a high-pass on em' - something like 4K and higher. I then put a low-pass on the original overheads at 1.5K and lower.... (not sure of the exact numbers now...) So, I essentially cut out the entire 2-3K bands from my drums... The result is nice shimmering cymbals (with a bit lack of body, I admit), and no harshness at all. I can also now control the 4 individual OH tracks, which was a great benefit. Turned out quite nice, I think.

Now, I've gotta see what I can do about the bottom-end.

Thanks for listening!
 
I liked all the sounds, except for the lead vox FX.

I think I know what the tune needs....not thrash soloing....but a counter-rythmic guitar chop [SRV] and theme Harrison] to add some texture to the main figure. A little counterpoint....a little memorable riffage....repeating...and used in a dynamic build way: second cycles only, etc.

Rythmically, the 8ths and 16th are sparse and predictable. Lots of space for some counterpoint communication between other instruments....and lying between vocal lines.
 
jeffmaher said:
I liked all the sounds, except for the lead vox FX.

I think I know what the tune needs....not thrash soloing....but a counter-rythmic guitar chop [SRV] and theme Harrison] to add some texture to the main figure. A little counterpoint....a little memorable riffage....repeating...and used in a dynamic build way: second cycles only, etc.

Rythmically, the 8ths and 16th are sparse and predictable. Lots of space for some counterpoint communication between other instruments....and lying between vocal lines.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your comment, Jeff. I really appreciate it, and also, man... You make me wish I had graduated with a Music degree. hehe... I really have very little idea of what you're talking about. Not sure what "SRV and theme Harrison" means, but it sounds interesting.

Could you direct me to a musical link or something which could help me understand what you're talking about? Or, better yet, could you *ahem* send some guitar trackage my way? *wink wink, nudge nudge*

--Jason
 
Pretty cool. I think the guitars can use some more grit, but that's my opinion. The drums sound really good. I agree with everyone else on the low end and the vocals. Decent song. :)
 
Okay... I worked on this about an hour more. Did some EQ / fader / low-pass plugin work on the bottom-end. Got a bit more definition out of the kick, and hopefully separated the bass / kick as well.

I also did some vocal plugin work, and didn't hate the result. You'll have to let me know what you think of the changes.

Should I - updated
 
SRV chop is just a way of describing what SRV did on , say, Bowie's 'China Girl: big, meaty punctuated chord chops that fit the grid layed down by the bass and drums...sometimes reinforcing the beat, sometimes placing a beat between the foundational grid....a bit of conversation.

Theme {Harrison} alludes to George Harrison's gift of developing and playing hook lines and broken chords and interesting, melodic arprggios over the foundation....again, communicating with the foundational parts, and adding cherries to the ice cream. You can add them ...on 11...to give color and texture to the proceedins.

The tune consists of a phat foundation...a pretty-much unison rythmic figure. What could make it interestinger is a dialogue with another instrument.... A solo is something taking about itself...too random and self-centered to play intellegently with the main foundation. At least two rythmically and melodically interwoven instruments in a piece is going to bump the interest level up 3X.
 
jeffmaher said:
SRV chop is just a way of describing what SRV did on , say, Bowie's 'China Girl: big, meaty punctuated chord chops that fit the grid layed down by the bass and drums...sometimes reinforcing the beat, sometimes placing a beat between the foundational grid....a bit of conversation.

Theme {Harrison} alludes to George Harrison's gift of developing and playing hook lines and broken chords and interesting, melodic arprggios over the foundation....again, communicating with the foundational parts, and adding cherries to the ice cream. You can add them ...on 11...to give color and texture to the proceedins.

The tune consists of a phat foundation...a pretty-much unison rythmic figure. What could make it interestinger is a dialogue with another instrument.... A solo is something taking about itself...too random and self-centered to play intellegently with the main foundation. At least two rythmically and melodically interwoven instruments in a piece is going to bump the interest level up 3X.
Click to expand...

Thank you! This is something I can work with. Your insights are highly helpful.

(also I'm listening to my update now, and I'm not sure if it's a step in the right direction or not. The kick is almost too prominent, and the drums don't seem to gel with the song as well... I like the vocals more, though)
 
Okay... I did an updated updated mix, and I think I'm gonna be happy with this one (until I start experimenting with Jeff's suggestions)

This one features a little less prominent kick (the last one was hitting me in the face and tromping over everything else), a bit more bass, and more "gel" on the drums.

Let me know...

Should I - updated 2
 
Wow killer low end on this...sounds great....love the bass guitar...would maybe like to hear just a little more guitar ...but I'm a guitar player so go figure;) Cool song, I dug it!
 
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