newbie at angry rap lyrics....need help lol

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distortedrumble

distortedrumble

all up in yo grill!
hey everyone.....i started a band thats a rock rap hybrid and I'm kinda lost on the chorus.

it goes like this

Its all in due time
I'll be the one that separates your body from your mind
you know you crossed the line
go quietly into the night theres nowhere to run the end's in sight
so let yourself go
cause i own the last seconds of your life

this a rock rap song and its about my ex cheating on me with her boss at dominoes pizza

the verse i say goes like this

and to the pizza man whos name rhymes with fab fool
your f***** my chick think your a** is cool
went and had to go and break the golden rule
you f*** with me now i will f*** with you
go home and find your wife and kids are dead
why would you care you was getting head
the knife on the counter stained blood red
find a laser sight aimed at your leg and then i bust a cap
your knee collapses you're on your back
scream again and its air you'll lack
choke your a** till your seeing black
now how was that?
was f****** that p**** worth you're health
my hands on you're throat, the last thing you felt
never ever thought that I'd choke you to death
think about that when you take your last breath

when i wrote this....its way outside the box of what i would actually say but i think its vicious enough.....except for the "fab fool" part....can anyone give me a better idea of what to put there?
 
distortedrumble said:
this a rock rap song and its about my ex cheating on me with her boss at dominoes pizza

the verse i say goes like this




go home and find your wife and kids are dead
why would you care you was getting head
the knife on the counter stained blood red

find a laser sight aimed at your leg and then i bust a cap
your knee collapses you're on your back
scream again and its air you'll lack
choke your a** till your seeing black
now how was that?

was f****** that p**** worth you're health
my hands on you're throat, the last thing you felt
never ever thought that I'd choke you to death
think about that when you take your last breath

Instead of a better rhyme, I'd like to suggest anger management and counseling. The words to that song could be used against you and considered and assault, and you could end up in the county jail. :eek:

I don't think this chick is worth writing such a horrifically negative song over.... really.

Write a song that most people can identify with, not a situation that's specifically related to you. Nobody cares about a cheating pizza-guy and your trashy ex. Turn that anger into something more creative and interesting than some schmuck at Dominoes Pizza.
 
cool lyrics

i was woundering if you would let me change a little bot and use these lyrics in a song im writing ill write the rest :):)
 
wow this is interesting...yeah str8 up...these lyrics suck..probably not going to take you anywhere but jail. On the flip side I have to respect all musicians. Especially ones who express through emotion...just try and turn that emotion into a positive, not some weird, horrific "Brotha Lynch" message.
 
I agree it sounds like a threat. You don't want this getting out to them, it...will..be...county... JAIL! :O
 
This is a 7 year old thread in the wrong forum about an angry dude that wants a slice of the pizzaman that another guy wants to copy but slightly modify but has been warned may land him in jail ! You couldn't make this up !!
 
im going to shoot all the guys at my local papa johns......
 
7 year old thread, the lyricist is probably almost old enough to have graduated juvie detention by now. Sorry but crap like this is why I can't stand "rap-rock". My what a big dirty mouth you have Limp Dick Biszkitt all the frat boys are impressed with your rhyming skillz yo.

Why anybody would think this was worth doing in the first place is beyond me, but a cover of it? Don't you have 10 minutes, a sheet of notebook paper, a boss you hate and a vocabulary of obvious rhymes of your own?


rap is an art form - like poetry! yeah, evidently not always the case.
 
i dont care about the people who say i will go to jail really eminem lyrics that he rapes his mother fucking hell listen
 
i just wont at least one person too think i can accomplish my dream
 
is there a place for hungry rap?


hungry wraps?


i dunno...work with me guys
 
listen to eminem he is not in jail
i dont care about the people who say i will go to jail really eminem lyrics that he rapes his mother fucking hell listen

Unbelievable, so your a terrible lyricist AND a wannabe...this just keeps getting better
 
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