New Tune for critque

  • Thread starter Thread starter dragonworks
  • Start date Start date
Cool tune. I really like the tone of the clean lead guitar. The keys and drums need to come up a bit but the thing that sticks out to me is the vocal. It's like it's on top of the mix and not in it, not in the same space as the rest of the tune. Maybe some compression to make it sit a little better and a short verb to put it in the same room with the band. Just my humble opinion.:cool:
 
Its just a rough mix of an incomplete song. The guitar part has to be redone, to many flubs, especially at the end. People have had a hard time hearing the lyrics in the past so here they are.
MONTEZUMA
THE GODS CAME TO YOU
AS HALF BEAST AND HALF MAN
BORNE ON THE WINDS OF FATE
THEY SET UPON YOUR LANDS

YOU SHOWERED THEM WITH GIFTS OF GOLD
TO TRY AN STAY THEIR HAND
YET THEY KEPT COMING EVER CLOSER
WITH MORE AND MORE DEMANDS
QUETZEQUATAL GREAT GOD ON HIGH SAVE US

MENTEZUMA
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU
YOU SIMPLY COULDNT COMPHREHEND
THAT CORTEZ AND HIS BAND OF BRIGANDS
WERE NOTHING MORE THAN MEN

BOUND AND FROZEN BY CHAINS OF MYTH
YOU COULDNT TAKE A STAND
FORCED TO BOW AGAINST YOUR WILL
YOUR EMPIRE TURNED TO SAND
GREAT GOD THAT SHAKES THE EARTH SAVE US

CHORUS
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO YOU
THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL
SURELY THE SON OF HEAVEN
CERTAINLY TO FALL
ON THE ALTAR OF A NEW FAITH
THE HAND OF DESTINY
CALLING OUT WITH ALL OF ITS WEIGHT
THE WAY THAT IT SHALL BE

MONTEZUMA

MONTEZUMA
WE STILL SEE YOU
THROUGH THE EYE OF HISTORY
AS A GREAT MAN
IN A GREAT LAND
CAUGHT UP IN A TRAGEDY
FOUGHT BY MEN FOR WEALTH AND POWER
FROM LANDS ACROSS THE SEA
WHERE NOTHING IS SACRED
AND ALL IS EMPTY
WHERE GREED IS ALMIGHTY
GREAT GOD OF MOUNTAIN FIRE SAVE US

CHORUS
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO YOU
THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL
SURELY THE SON OF HEAVEN
CERTAINLY TO FALL
ON THE ALTAR OF A NEW FAITH
THE HAND OF DESTINY
CALLING OUT WITH ALL OF ITS WEIGHT
THE WAY THAT IT SHALL BE

MONTEZUMA MONTEZUMA.
 
Is this a comedy song? Sounds a bit like it. Like a rawhide type thing with a weird synth sound. Of course, if the song isn't a comedy song, and it is indeed made for a serious song, I apologise beforehand :) BTW, the synth sounds are a bit too distant. The drum sounds could have more presence also. And the vocals really should be center, and on the other hand, the guitars could be somewhere else rather than the center. An entertaining piece nonetheless
 
funny you should mention that. If you understand the lyrics the song is without a doubt a tragedy, the minor key should give it away.
 
dragonworks said:
Its just a rough mix of an incomplete song. The guitar part has to be redone, to many flubs, especially at the end. People have had a hard time hearing the lyrics
Click to expand...

I think you know your areas that need improvement.
 
now I've got this song stuck in my head.

This is a very good song and I like the conviction of the singer.

The mix sounds good in its own way. Maybe a more vintage mix.

Funk on!
 
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