new song - just want some thoughts

  • Thread starter Thread starter olfunk
  • Start date Start date
O

olfunk

New member
hey i wrote a song and recorded it, and its very pop-rock, and not like anything i'd normally step near, but i just want to know what anybody thinks of it - click here. the song's called girl. you're very welcome to listen to the rest of it but except smile of a dolphine, they're not songs so much as improv pieces.

cheers
 
31 views and no reply??? thats just plain mean! lol just joshin but seriously i cant tell if its good or bad myself, i need someone else to tell me as well.
 
You've got the structure done well and the track's definitely pop. For your age it's great and you deserve a lot of credit for putting it all together.

But it's rather ordinary and uninspiring overall. The melody line is a bit dull and it doesn't go well with the lyrics. "You make me want to scream and shout" doesn't fit with a pleasant little melody.

You've written and produced a very good song for your experience level. Keep it up! You're doing fine. (and better than I did at your age)
 
cheers pal! yeah im normally into more stranger stuff, studying lots of jazz and that kinda thing, but then that song sorta came to me so i thought i may as well record it.
 
Yeah i can see what you are doing with the song, melody is kinda familar almost 1950ish. Its definetly a lively song.. personally for me the vocal needs a bit of work..more down to the sounds that you are getting, possibly your mic, theres also a few little clicks and stuff on there (not sure if that is from the mp3 conversion) but i thought it was on the vocal. Secondly the rest of the band need to be brought up in the mix more i would definetly bring the drums up and the guitar needs to be compresed...nice parts tho and like the previous guy said its totally honorable that you should be doing you own thing!
 
i like the fact that you refer to the instruments as being a band, as they were all me! multitracked, obviously, but yeah i think some of the vocals need changing a bit. i usually love that snare sound, but i dont really think it suited the song.
 
I especailly like the way you drop the rhythm section during the vocal lines. Nice tune and nicely done. The only down side for me was the snare. It seems a little tight and thin (But then, I am an old guy.) I think if I had to listen more than a couple of times I would start to dwell on it and it would detract from the song. Nice effort though. ;)
 
olfunk said:
hey i wrote a song and recorded it, and its very pop-rock, and not like anything i'd normally step near, but i just want to know what anybody thinks of it
Click to expand...
The song itself is the strongest point here, together with the clean sound.
On weak sides, too quantized (without a groove) and vocal performance.
Try to use groove quantize or actually play a groove in manually without quantizing it.
And sing out. Loud!! And use a pitchcorrector on the voice.
Song itself aint bad. 5/10

Out of curiosity: why say its nothing "you step near"? You just stepped closer to a tune like this than most any other of us.

Keep it up
 
Emusic said:
The song itself is the strongest point here, together with the clean sound.
On weak sides, too quantized (without a groove) and vocal performance.
Try to use groove quantize or actually play a groove in manually without quantizing it.
And sing out. Loud!! And use a pitchcorrector on the voice.
Song itself aint bad. 5/10

Out of curiosity: why say its nothing "you step near"? You just stepped closer to a tune like this than most any other of us.

Keep it up
Click to expand...

cheers for the replies! do you mean that people want to step close to these kind of songs but cant?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top