New Song -- Drivin'

  • Thread starter Thread starter powderfinger
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Song: good lyric...I especially liked the rhyme of "are we" with "sorry." I like the singer's attitude in the song. The chord progression is nice and mellow. Good writing.

Production: I wanted the acoustic guitar, bass guitar, and kick drum more up in the mix, and the lead guitar a bit down. I think the lead played one pass too many, and it was fighting with the harp at the end. I didn't much care for the bullhorn background vocal, would rather have heard it straight up.

In short, I think the song is better than the production at this point, but that's a good thing. Much better to start with good material and improve production than the opposite.

Creative stuff, keep 'em coming.

Mark
 
True Lyric Artistry! I'm too deaf to offer any mix comments, but I could hear the vocal...(does anything else really matter?). I really liked your phrasing...although it got a little rushed in a couple of places, but that's just because you were inserting more LYRIC ARTISTRY, which I like.

My wife loved it...(of course, she was a HUGE fan of the Violent Femmes, so take it for what it's worth).

Sorry I can't be more substantive.

-chris
 
I like groove on this tune.

Snare sounds really sharp and bright. Almost like hitting a snare trash can lid. Losing some of the brightness and adding a little punch would great.

The Vox seems a little too far our front. It sounds too close compared to the background instruments. Keep the sound but I think it should be moved back a little further into the mix.

Make the chorus a little more audible "I-I'm still drivin" (disorted). Keep the effect but it kinda kills it when you can't understand it without going off what the lead is singing.

Try to get more sustain during the solo in the middle but keep the tone. Keep the same attack but it seems disjointed since the notes kinda muffle out during the solo.

As the song trails off, let the harp scream out and and then trail off almost like whoever is playing it is walking away.

The above is just my opinion so you can take it for exactly that. It's constructive criticism. I thought the songwriting was great. Keep up the great work and I'll look for your projects in the future. I would say the song as a whole is about 85% of the way there from what I would consider perfect. Then again, 85% from a nobody means that I would have stayed to listen to the entire song if I heard it in a club. Once again, excellent job.
 
well, guys, thanks for the listen....

mkg- i agree w/ pretty much everything you said about the instruments in the mix........tomorrow will be a remix day i guess. also, it's funny that you mentioned not liking the bullhorn vocal....when i wrote the song i just imagined that part from the moment i wrote it.....kind of a muffled scream in the back so to speak.....that being said, i didn't have anyone else around track a backing vocal, and for whatever reason, i hate layering my own voice....not sure why.......when i get another singer around i'll have to try one straight up.

chris- your words are to kind. i'm glad you enjoyed the lyrics....that's what i really care about.......now if i can only get this recording thing down maybe i'll have something.......i was actually thinking about writing another verse, but i decided against it for whatever reason.

evildick- do you think the best way of moving the vocal back is by less volume or with reverb? what do you suggest? it's a dry vocal right now w/ a little compression and eq. also, i like the idea w/ the harp....i might even add a cross fade on it as well.

well guys, thanks, hopefully i'll have a remix up tomorrow.
 
Nice song....................the snare sound is kinda obnoxious. I thought the lead vocals sounded pretty good....I'd think of it more as bringing the instruments up to meet the vox rrather than pulling the vocals down..The bckgrnd voice is a little bit too distorted as Evildick pointed out.
very nice tune but I don't think you're finished with it yet.
 
I think Lt. Bob is right. Vocals are a tricky beast and i would say the hardest part to get right. Maybe using a little reverb "emphasizing little" they may blend a little better.

Just do little tweaks at a time and save them to a new track. The dry track you have is pretty much your master and a good one. You may want to EQ the snare though, or re-record it if the EQ makes it sound dead.

You've already done the best thing you could by replying to our comments. It helps keep the thread alive so people who haven't seen it yet will most likely check it out since it's still close to the top.
 
I just want to add that I particularly enjoyed the up-beat ( as in 2nd and 4th beat ) guitar parts around the 2:00 mark. I like the vocal melodies and especially the tone but the mix seems a tad dry for me ( little bit of reverb..maybe..). The distorted voice kind of reminds me of "Devil's Haircut" by Beck, which I also liked.

I also vote for bringing the band up a bit behind the vocals, just a bit, except for the snare :).

I really liked the tune, a lot.

--Belome
 
so.......here's my first remix of drivin'.........

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=1642&alid=154

i made a point to bring up the band behind the vocals......i think i did this fairly effectively, but let me know what you think

also, the consensus was that the vocals were too dry, and i agreed, so i added a little reverb. not much but enough to add a little warmth

i took evildick's suggestion to try and fade out the harmonica before the song ends....good idea

as for the snare, it was fairly hard to deal with for me, I tried to eq it, it still doesn't sound great, but let me know if you think it's better.....
 
so, i just finished a remix of drivin'.......

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=1642&alid=154

i tried to do the following

1) bring up the band around the vocal, i think i did this pretty well, let me know what you think

2) the consensus was that the vocal was a little dry, and i agreed, so i tried to add a little reverb for warmth, i didn't add too much, but i think it is an improved sound

3) i took evildick's suggestion of fading out the harmonica as if one were walking away, good idea, i'm not sure if my execution of it is evident though

4) i tried to deaden the snare a bit through eq, it's not great, but is an improvement i think.......let me know what you guys think.....

5) i also brought up the distorted chorus vocal a touch
 
I'm glad I listened to it again. One thing about it was driving me nuts...I was trying to remember what your lead tone reminded me of...it hit me this time.

SOCIAL DISTORTION...(that's a compliment in my book)

The whole mix sounded less abrasive. If I were you, though, I'd take the nearest vehicle I could find and drive it over that snare drum...(fffwwwwaaaapp - fffwwwwaaaapp). Sounds kinda like a wooden spoon beating on a cutting board that's been wrapped in tin foil about 80 times.

That's the most negative thing I could say about this. I've spun it a few times now, and it really kinda' draws you in after awhile. The bullhorn seems REALLY noticeable at first, but now I've gotten used to it, and I think I'd miss it if it it weren't there.

Nice harp work. Man, the only thing that jumps out at me is that my ears tell me it should fade about 10 seconds earlier...that's it. (oh yeah, and the snare...that's still pretty obnoxious).

:D

Keep writing...I like this.
 
OH YEAH!!!

forgot to tell you that it reminds me of early BECK. That's not a slam at all.

Yeah, keep the bullhorn.
 
So it's pretty obvious that the snare is the weakest link in the mix........are there any eq tricks that might remedy this? or am I destined to re-record it? i'll workshop the snare with some eq for a little while, but i think it's kind of like trying to tune a bobcat
 
Honestly...if somebody else hadn't said something about the snare...I wouldn't have even noticed it, so I probably shouldn't have mentioned it. The truth is, I know nothing about drums...

(whaddya' call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A DRUMMER!!!).

That's not really the way I feel about drums or drummers by the way...I'm just jealous because...well, if I ever divulged how I track drums, I'd become an absolute laughing stock, so I'm gonna' shut up now. But keep this in mind...if the worst thing somebody can say about a tune is that the snare is too loud, you're just about homefree in my book. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are gonna' be plenty of folks who will have a TON of useful hints...and I do think this sounds like what it is...which is a homerecording...but it's very clean and raw and cool and...(stopping now).

I'm writing again because I've listened to the song probably 10 or 12 times now...Turn up the acoustic lead at the beginning right after the drums come in...it's so brutally honest and simply melodic; good stuff, man...now THERE'S an instrument I've deluded myself into believing I can play.

and keep the bullhorn.

-chris
 
Much better! The snare is down to an acceptable level IMOP.

What do you call a drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend?

























HOMELESS!!!! :D

It's a good song man......Good vocals and a nice concept. I like the willingness to experiment and I look forward to more of your stuff.
 
chrisharris said:
I don't even know what the fuck that means, but thanks for bringing back a 6 year old thread in order to confuse us.
Click to expand...

Check out Julia's short posting history. Complete nonsense. But she/he/it does need 5 posts before she/he/it can post a link.

Here it comes...
 
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