My Girls Songs

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dirtyp

dirtyp

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My girl needs someone to review her songs before we go back in the studio. There somewhat of poor quality I rushed them just to get them recorded. Now im going to redo them looking for some crit.

FAITH ROSE
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STAX BRIX
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I would suggest being more imaginative. Its basically some girl talking over pre-made music?? :confused:

I would use more effects on the voice, more panning, echos, sound effects, anything really. I am certainly not the target audience, so take that how you wish. :)
 
I have to say that it sucks.....I hate rap to begin with and this is the worst! if you have something to say then say it with a little passion at least....this stuff was dead from the word go! If you don't have any passion or heart how can your audience have any? Go back to school and learn a few more words than " FUCK "
 
ummm. i hate it?
its a girl talking...
wow
vocals are WAYYY too pure... add effects damnit
and the beats and shit are very lame
 
Buddy, you can't CONVINCE people to like your music. You asked for opinions and you got them. Now be a man and take it, you asked for it.
 
The rain falls mainly on the plain in Spain!!

Maybe a rapper will come along one day who is original, instead of the same old living on the streets, drugs, anti-govt, boycott big business crap.....I think it is wearing a little thin!! :mad: :mad:

It is with me anyway....Sorry, but I honestly don't have too much constructive criticism to offer!
 
Ok...In case anyone's wondering what the hell my earlier post is about. The original poster went on a rant about his music, bla bla bla, and that we just don't get it...etc....

And then he bravely deleted it. So not only can he not take criticism...He also isn't man enough to stand by anything he said.

Why did you delete your post? Did you realise how utterly stupid it was?
 
Sorry but to me, your girl sounds like she's reading stock hiphop lyrics off of a lyrics sheet over an uninteresting beat. I don't sense any emotion in this and the vocals stick out too much.

so I have to pay $0.99 to download this? :eek:
 
RAMI said:
The original poster went on a rant about his music, bla bla bla, and that we just don't get it...etc....
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It must be compulsory to be recognized or at least try to be recognized in the rap/hip hop fraternity to act like this!!

It at least seems that way to me lately, the last couple of rappers that have posted up material have chose this road to go down!



Hehehe....I just said.."go down".. :D :D :D :D :D
 
I didnt say it first off. Ill stand by every word I ever said.
It was my girls songs, She replied kinda bitter so I deleted it. I wanted feedback to better my mixes. I have no problem taking criticism from music to stupid ?s.
and im not familiar with all the anti govt boycot big biznez rap you talking bout. I listen to that type of music and there is a handful of them none in mainstream. I would like to know how mainstream rappers have movies/comercials/vodka/big biznez(labels)/clothes/magazines/radio/tv, and pretty much everything else supporting them and there anti govt anti biznez.
is this a joke?


I do agree with her point that sum people didnt realy listen to it.
Cuz she only swears in one song. And doesnt rap about drugs,
After she fought with me to record those songs, I told her no more till she practice her lyrics. I do the same thing write something and go right to recording but I stopped too. I can get away with writing a hook on the spot.

The mixing was me I didnt take no time or use any effects, Im using adlib tracks now for more emotion. I do pan but dont seem to get great results. Since then I got plugins and im not using generic aa 2.1 plug ins. Im also trying diiferent recording programs but im use to aa so ill probaly stick with that for the most part. I tried to explain some people were replying from a recording perspective not a average fan. I learned from my first few newbie post that sum people on here are just on here to put people down, that dont bother me at all I welcome it. ITs what drives me maybe it will help her too.

to sum it up the very first post says I rushed these songs and there recorded poorly to get crit to help the mix so I can redo them. she knows the songs now and it flows alot better im going to rerecord them in a day or two. I spent the last month trying to improve my mixing knowledge. I had to go elsewhere for help since there were few responses to specific tips.
 
Addressing what needs work-
There's too much bottom end in the bass drum it creates a lot of pressure in h/phones it'd cause havoc with a sub.
The piano/key pieces are pleasant enough.
The reverb/delay or repeat on the snare/rimshot combo is too far off & clutters the rhythm.
Lyrics are too much of the same bitter complaint with too many false rhymes. See my other comments all over the place regarding rhyming & rapping.
The crying guitar was interesting.
Not enough interest in the delivery - an attempt at dispassionate comes off disinterested.
 
I listened to Faceless People. I had no idea so many words rhymed with "cain".
The mix I heard was pumping (that's BAD). Lighten up on the two buss compression. The vocal is too dry and too up front and monotonous. I can't comment on the material itself, but I have a question. Is there anything to rap about that doesn't envolve the street, killing for drugs and stuff like that? If I had to listen to that for more than 10 minutes they'd have to puit me on suicide watch.
 
wich song rayc? Simple eq will take that off the bass right?
I told her about using metaphors and similies, but at the same time it shouldnt be forced.

do you have any advice how to help someone rap at different speeds?
she flows everything fast at the same pace no matter the tempo,
I yell but its not that effective.

she was criticized for the govt shit.. I dont think she said anything about killing for drugs. I know theres a line something like instead of food and shelter they give us cocaine
 
Ok fair enough, that was a more civil response. Too bad she's so bitter about taking some criticism. Hopefully she'll grow up one day. She's certainly nowhere near as good as she thinks she is and one day she'll realise that and start TAKING advice.
 
shes sicilian and very stubborn.
I tried to edit her verse b4 she tried to kill me.
another thing is i ask for the criticism she didnt. that might be part of it.
its easier now then it was a month ago I pretty much let her record it herself cuz she was pissing me off.
she writes poetry so theres a slight learning curve to songs. If she can combine them it will work out, stuff like the monotone voice I have that problem too I dont know if its the mic, or just sumthing all us rappers do starting out. my freestyles dont sound as mono. So it has to be a delivery thing
 
dirtyp,
The 1st track mate.
Yeah, just roll off some low end frequencies with the EQ - try a couple of different notches, 1 at a time until the thump is still there without the pressure - (try that with h'phones).
You're right forcing her will only get a neg reaction. You'll need to find some examples of it to play her so she can see another perspective .
make her rap to a click track only OR make her, & I know this'll sound stupid but it's about feeling the speed & beat, sit on a bass bin while just playing a simple beat and ask her to rap to the rhythm hshe can literally feel.
I'm happy with anti govt rants - I do them with my music BUT a new perspective is necessary to give the theme some freshness. I know that kids think they're the 1st to hit on an idea even if it was jotted down by a Pharoh. Again playing her examples.
The other tack is harder - positivity. haven't cracked that myself.
Early Nenah Cherry would be a good place to start.
 
"instead of food and shelter they give us aids and cocaine, to spread thru the streets like we have no brain"????
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she wants to be given free food and free housing? WHO is giving them aids and cocaine? Free coke? people who use meth and cocaine have brains? did they use their brains in school, and turn to drugs after the education thing just never would pan out?? or did they grow up beaten and screamed at by their own parents, and turn to drugs to mask the pain and anger before they even knew how to educate themselves??

"I just smoke mary jane, cuz the brain wash techniques got the brainz down the drainz"???
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Dont nobody corrupt my people by giving away cocaine, but pass the bong??

"leaders who rejoice in death by flame, showing no mercy or shame for killing in satan's name"???
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is she referring to George Bush? Or Osama Bin Smokin? There are countless examples of both Christians and Muslims who fit this description......

"I'm tired of seeing all my people in pain, I've got more heart than anyone in this game"???
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only "her people"?? Not all people? more heart? compared to whom?

"ignorant weak n**g**r*s and dumb whores all over the tv in order to keep us all thinking the same"???
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why is it when a caucasian person speaks like this, the NAACP and the ACLU shows up with a lawsuit......but when a black person speaks like this it's just the way we talkin, you know....???? WHO wants to put people on a gas chamber train?? And for what reason? Is that a reference to some kind of death sentence in a correctonal system? or a comparison to the Holocaust?

"making money off your people stickin needles in their vein"????
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WHO does she think is making all that money off those people? It's not the same people making money off the mary jane she smokes??

and while we're at it, let's throw in genetically modified food and nutrasweet? give us free food, but make damn sure it's not genetically modified and it aint got no fake sweet in it?? there are 100 million starving people in Africa who will take free food, and they wont give a damn if it's genetically modified or not. Your body doesn't give a damn if its genetically modified or not either.

"they let us die in hurricanes.....watching them dying from the planes"??
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Never mind the fact that flying in a plane was the only way to get any where near the area after the storm. yeah, the devastation in N.O. makes great camera-ready news on tv, but nobody mentions all the good things that were done. People were saved, more were saved than died. More were helped than were left alone. But it's better to complain about the failures and completely ignore the victories? WHO are "they" anyway?? There were a million people, from the street level on up, saying that N.O. would be ruined by a hurricane someday, mainly for the fact that the best part of it is below sea level. (There's an idea! Let's go live below sea level 10 miles from the ocean!) Who had the power to prepare for it? Who failed to make the decisions and budget the money ahead of time to prepare for it? Who ignored the warnings? Those warnings were ignored and those decision were not made a long time ago, lady, before any of those people ever took office. Anyone who thinks the people in office and in power the day the hurricane hits are the only ones to blame for the devastation and the poor response is, at best, shallow and myopic.

"I keep prayin to sustain from just blowing out the whole chain of demons running this whole domain, but I gotta refrain, that's not my purpose here, I spread knowledge so we gain back freedom"
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tempted to fight death and destruction by dishing out death and destruction?? I dont get it..... this work is her definition of "spreading knowledge"??

Did I miss something? These are the messages she was trying to get across, right?
 
WHO is giving them aids and cocaine? The first outbreak of aids was in a vaccine. You having been paying attetion the mexican military has been spotted crossing our borders more then 200 times this year, and they had a mexican standoff with the sherrifs in texas. our policy are

people who use meth and cocaine have brains? Thats just dumb look at almost any musician,actor, they have brains. cocaine was a rich persons drug, they must have got there money from lack of intelligents. drugs mask pain thats why they give them to cancer patients. you should know by now anyone thats ask ?s is a threat, our govt uses a follow the sheap mentality.

weed cmon thats less harmless then alcohol. half the people already think it should be legal.

is she referring to George Bush? Or Osama Bin Smokin? both its funny how they use to work together same thing with the taliban,iraq,iran,panama,cuba.afganistan

only "her people"?? gods people. and americans. You must be rich.

but when a black person speaks like this it's just the way we talkin, you know....???? come to the projects the few white people in here talk like that.
also look at the rednecks, if you poor people dont care how you talk..

WHO wants to put people on a gas chamber train?? this is a refrence to the holocaust. its funny how it was illegal to immigrate to the us at that time.
and I remember a pope that worked out deals with hitler,and mussolini.

the storm shit. compare the money spent on the rebuild, to the rebuilding of iraq. whats the priority? cali is under sea level so is florida that seems like a easy solution blame the residents. the state did a prepare for it they did a simulation called hurricane pam. it was cancelled before the recomendations were made,by the feds they wouldnt give any funds for it. Maybe they could get some homeland security money that was spent on everything from ac, to electronics. why did they turn down all the immediate help from drs. to mobile hospitals,rescue workers but take the money. Thats right canada is our first responders not fema,national gaurd,army core of enginers. You can wrap this up with barbara bush comments its not the fact there her it that they want to stay,there poor people,criminals, thats shallow.

the key there is tempted , or sustain. We have the right to evict govt from office and im not talking about impeaching thats the congress, People tried to give a petition to the u.n with 50000 signatures, they closed the un and arrested them in front of the building.

there is knowledge in there some people just go with what tv tells them, and dont get the facts by themselfs. people that drowned,heat stroke, heart attacks,murdered, or died waiting for food and water, werent counted. And I realy would like to know how many people died cuz thats a lie.
You act like we cant drop food and water out of a plane,guess there has to be a war or foreign country for that.

you cant possilbly look at katrina and say there wasnt a complete breakdown. and the food and shelter line has to do with what are they doing now for no? were not talking bout one day were talking bout the last year. I have family from n.o and they cant even get a job to help clean up, nevermind rebuild. they have immigrants working there, maybe if you had someone other the bill oriely telling you what happen. I seen a home video of what was going on not in n.o but 20 miles away were my cuzn live. the police were stopping traffic not letting people leave. they shut down the interstates. And just like in andrew they went to the rich area and said everything fine it missed us go back home, this is while the city was flooding.They new or didnt care just like miami, when dayville ,homestead was destroyed. I like how everyone has this it wont happen in my backyard mentality but it will, and unless its the pentagon,white house they wont do shit about it. maybe make a movie or two.

Music you can criticize me , but politics ill argue all day about.
 
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