musical infractions

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spacedye

spacedye

Vest
Penalties for Bass Infractions

NAME OF OFFENDER (Bass Player)_______________________
INFRACTION DATE___________________________

MUSICAL OFFENSES
Playing loudly during warm up $10
Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
Loud cursing after mistake $10
Playing high and fast after mistake $20
Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
Asking for "E" tuning note $25
Playing E anyway when tuned to Bb $50
Playing written-out walking line $50
Failure to play written walking line $75
Playing eighth notes $5 each
Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
Dragging fast tempo $75
Dragging ballad tempo $100
Blacking out during ballad $200
Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
Following drummer's tempo $250
Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

UPRIGHT PLAYERS
Playing audibly $25
Faking changes $25
Slapping $150
Excessive sweating $25
Asking for a solo $30
Accepting solo when offered $50
Taking second chorus $100
Playing solo $400
Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500

ELECTRIC PLAYERS
Checking hair between tunes $15
Experimenting with odd meters $25
Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
Playing with a pick $50
Tuning during ballad $30
Attempting last word on final chord $50
Achieving last word on final chord $100
Long gliss down to final note $200

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
Forgetting strap $10
Changing strings after every set $15
Using electric tuner $15
Setting up mic "just in case" $75
Forgetting to turn amp on $40
Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
Asking guitar player for help moving amp $25
Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
Skull decals on bass $150
Bringing fretless bass $500

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
Telling drummer about all the gigs you get $10
Asking drummer about their day gig $10
Sitting behind drums on break $10
Quoting "Birdland" $25
Practicing scales during break $25
Practicing scales during drum solo $50
Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50

BASIC STUPIDITY
Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
Asking when the rock set starts $20
Continually asking "where are we?" $25
Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
Asking drummer where "1" is $50
Taking cell phone call during 4's $100

additions are always welcome.....
:cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:
 
That's pretty funny. Didn't Zappa actually fine band members something like $50 for each mistake?
 
Let's check...

Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
Playing eighth notes $5 each
Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
Following drummer's tempo $250
UPRIGHT PLAYERS
Playing audibly $25
Faking changes $25
ELECTRIC PLAYERS
Checking hair between tunes $15
Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
Attempting last word on final chord $50
Achieving last word on final chord $100
Long gliss down to final note $200
EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
Using electric tuner $15
Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
Bringing fretless bass $500
CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
Quoting "Birdland" $25

...Man this would cost me :D :D


Herwig
 
Yeah some of those are bad and I disagree with a few so I will deflect with some drummer jokes.

What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?


HOMELESS! Rimshot please...

What is the difference between a dead armadillo and dead drummer on the side of the road?


The armadillo actually had a gig!



What do you call a drummer with half a brain?





Gifted! :p

All of these were told to me by a drummer by the way.
 
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