More Blasphemy.....

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Gidge

Gidge

Lapdance Test Dummy
sorry guys......

i just write em.......i cant even spell enjuneer must less be one......:D

http://www.artistlaunch.com/artist3.asp?artistid=1182


FOREVER ENDED TODAY


There was a time you said you’d always be there
There was a time I believed every word
But actions speak louder they say
And I’m all alone here today
I’m wondering why
So could you just tell me please


Chorus
--------
What happened to forever
Till death do us part
Who gave you the right
To take back your heart
And how can you promise
Then turn and walk away
Leave everything behind
You had in my life
Forever ended today


Now I think back it wasn’t that long ago
When our two hearts they beated as one
But just like the summer sunshine
When winter comes and leaves it all behind
You’re walking away
So could you just tell me please


Repeat Chorus
 
not that I am a better singer or anything, I think the vocal sounds odd...like as soon as it came in, it sounded a lil off pitch or is that just me?

Anyways, Gidge, I am not putting you down here, I think the mix sounds good overall. Maybe a little more dynamic on volumes would give the chorus more attention.

Just my 2 cents

AL
 
I think this may be written well, and nice mixing too, but ...
sounds so dead.

Maybe speed it up and/or put some SACK into it

if you dont sound like you are into your music, no one else will

just my .0132222 euros
 
Gidge,

I'm not saying I"m a great singer either, but you sound REALLY off. I'd suggest you sing along with a glide track to get that back on track. I gotta say tho', the song is pretty damn good, and it's very well recorded.
 
This is a cool tune, and sounds nicely recorded, you shouldn't beat yourself up there. I'm no vocalist, but I have to agree with the other vocal comments, something is just a bit off. Aside from that it sounds great :D
 
Thanks for the comments guys......

I should have put my disclaimer on again....this is just a quick "work tape" type recording (maybe an hour total)to get a little feedback on the song before i waste time demoing it.....i think one mistake made alot of times is spending tons of time demoing a song and getting it sonically perfect, but the song or arrangement sucks.....

so im going for song and arrangement advice, and maybe singing lessons:D :eek: :p ;) or offers to record it.....


on the singing part, how do you liven them up?...can some people like me just be born to not sing.....
 
very good songwriting..

the vocal situation has been covered, so I'll jusy say I agree.. also, you seem to have made the drums too loud again.. the song itself is good though..
 
Gidge said:
on the singing part, how do you liven them up?...can some people like me just be born to not sing..... [/B]


Thats a really good question Gidge and not easy to achieve. I've done takes where I thought I was singing my ass off, and when I listened to them later, It sounded like I was sleepwalking through it. You have to really be emotionally into it for a really good vocal take. You have to sound like you mean it. Really invest some energy into it and it will show. I don't necessarily mean screaming either. Take Kenny Loggins for example or Michael Mc Donald. Even on ballads they sing with a lot of emotion and soul. How can you get there? Sorry I don't really know. It helps to get some adrenalin going (try some jumping jacks). Also, the first few times you sing it are likely to be some of the best since your not sick of it yet, and will have some spontaneity.


Twist
 
Gidge said:
i think one mistake made alot of times is spending tons of time demoing a song and getting it sonically perfect, but the song or arrangement sucks.....

Agreed~I think that happens to alot of us, especially myself. Very good point. but, I don't think your arrangement was bad at all tho. Just needs a little more dynamic, I think

AL
 
sounds like an Elvis Costello B-side to me. If you could make those drums sound more real I don't know. What were you doing, reaching for your beer at 3:07?

All in all a decent tune. Kind of cheesey but you pulled it off.
 
"on the singing part, how do you liven them up?...can some people like me just be born to not sing....."

if there are people not born to sing, I dont think its true in your case. ANYONE who will stick his voice on the net for a million people to hear, is in my book " born to sing", as in being born with balls enough to let it all hang out. I hear the potential, remember how bob dylan sang ???LOL I dont think its NEAR that bad.

I would say just sound like youre into it more, make it more believable. I seriously do think the speed of the track might be too slow for you to sing it correctly
 
Man, I listened to this last night - but was too tired to post on it.

I think rats has hit it on the head. I was thinking Elvis Costello when I heard your voice on this one, and that's not a bad thing.

I think with a little work on control, your voice will be fine.

I agree with pipeline about the balls it takes to post for the world.

You mentioned that this is just a working demo, and that's cool. I usually only make mix comments and stay out of songwriting, as it's such a personal thing. And as far as mixing, the drums are a bit too heavy in the mix, and there doesn't seem to be a lot of dynamics. As this is a working demo, though - those points are irrelevant.

Keep it up man.
 
Very catchy tune!

I agree it should be a bit faster and punchier (and the drum part, lower in volume)

Well, if you've heard some of my songs you will see I have the same problem with you in the voice dept, so I will better be quiet about it.

Great lyrics, too. I encourage you to work on a "real" demo as you say in your post.
 
nice song.......it's kind of funny because i feel like it has some sort of 50's-early60's rock&roll feel, but the song doesn't sound dated at all......i don't know if that makes any sense........

the vocals sound good for the most part.....the pitch wavers a bit when you're holding on notes.......adding some natural voice vibrato might help in adding some life and help in keeping to appear more in pitch..........also a little more volume on the vox could help.......

nice job
 
sounds like an Elvis Costello B-side to me.

I agree with Rats.
Your vocal tone is fine! When you get a take you are happy with stick it out front!!!
This tune is a kinda Ballad, thats the way it comes out to me and it sounds fine! Sometimes tunes just come out and then you decide what kind of tune they are.

That guitar you are holding in the pic on your site looks familiar! What is it ?? (please)

Nice Post Gidge!
Joel
 
Thanks for all the encouragement and advice guys....it is much appreciated....i guess with a voice like mine I should be scared to throw it out for the world, but im not.....:D

jcmm, thats a Yamaha RGX211....bought it back in the 80's...i still have it but mainly record with a Yamaha Pacifica.......

back to the drawing board...going try to work another one one....maybe ill squeeze my resticles while im singing?.....:eek: :rolleyes: :( :) :D
 
back to the drawing board...going try to work another one one....maybe ill squeeze my resticles while im singing?.....

Maybe you can squeeze my resticles while you're at it? Sounds kinky, and I can dig the kink. :D
 
Good song Mike!
(Told you,you sound like Elvis!):D

I think that's the key right there,if you already sound like someone famous,youv'e got it made dude!
Mabey get a copy of one of his songs and study it,might help?
Allison is his best one,I think.

You can definitly write and play,and your singing isn't bad at all.
I'd say your almost there.

BTW-Guitars sound sweet!:)

Pete
 
ok, my homework assignment is to study Elvis Costello songs....will do....

and thanks to everyone who responded with comments and suggestions....it is MUCH appreciated......you guys are the greatest.....
 
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