Lyrics for Review

[Better Than Me]

This is one I actually wrote about 2 1/2 years ago that never had music put to it.


Chloroform



I cant seem to feel
The sunny day begins to blur
Life living laughter
Nothings wants to be real
Calming whispers in the wind
Images fade in my eyes
Close them tightly, hide the dark
Numbness feeling, calming mind

Surrogate ascension, belief is real
Nothing tomorrow, to weak to feel
Always forever, dark will be
Breathe it in, swallowing me

Hear the voices, far away
They dont feel the cold inside
The fear of not coming back
Crawling till I find my way
Knowing something, somewhere else
Now is not the place I am
Swept away upon a cloud
To far away to cry for help

 

[Newbie dude]

for the most part, it's pretty good.The only thing I don't really like is the word "sunny" in the second lne. Doesn't seem to fit well.

 

[ido1957]

This is one I actually wrote about 2 1/2 years ago that never had music put to it.

Surrogate ascension, belief is real
Nothing tomorrow, to weak to feel
Always forever, dark will be
Breathe it in, swallowing me

Good lyrics - I like your structure and rhyming scheme. The above lines really invoke a strong feeling of emotion ...... very cool. If you get a chance to record them with music be sure and post it either here or in the MP3 Forum.

Again, good first lyric posting - welcome on board.....

ido1957