Little help?

[Danny_o6]

Hey i'm new to writing songs, in fact this is my first.

Verse 1

The hardest part of a relationship ain't to make up, it's to break up.
The hardest part of a relationship is to take up what you've been told.
They say that the love has grown old,
When you hear the words your heart grows cold.
The time you spent together starts to unfold as soon as "It's over" is what you're told.



Chorus

And when you've got a cold heart,
The love you had has grown apart.
You can turn to me,
I'll provide you with tranquility.



Verse 2

Remember all the times you spent together,
They say the good memories, they last forever.
Take time to think, what you've been through,
turn to her and whisper to her "I'll never forget you"



Chorus

And when you've got a cold hert,
The love you had has grown apart.
You can turn to me,
I'll provide you with tranquility.



Verse 3

No matter how much you wish they were still with you,
The questions still crops up "Will they still be true?"
Stop and think "Was I too good for you?"
No matter how lucky you thought you got
or how much they said "You're so hot" 'cause...



Chorus

When you've got a cold heart,
The love you had has grown apart.
You can turn to me,
I'll provide you with tranqulity.


Outro

In the end, when you're love is said and done.
Realise that they've not won.
Pick yourself up from the floor,
Walk around with a cold heart no more.



INSTRUMENTAL





If you could leave any comments on what you think of it I would much appreciate it.
Also if you have any tips.

Thanks,
Danny.

 

[ido1957]

Good lyrics Danny....my favorite lines are:

In the end, when you're love is said and done.
Realise that they've not won.
Pick yourself up from the floor,
Walk around with a cold heart no more.

The only thing I would wonder about is that the three verses don't seem to have the same number of words/syllables in each line. However, phrasing can make that a non-issue. Any chance we can hear a version of this with music?

Cool......

 

[Danny_o6]

Well, I don't think I'd achieve it's potential if I was to sing it.

I'd be more than happy if someone would be willing to use these lyrics, obviously with my consent would be nice.

I may come back and re-write it to match syllables etc. but then again it is my first song. I wrote it when I was bored.

Also, thanks for the nice comments.