Lady In White

[Chili]

Here's another lame attempt at a country song. The only saving grace is getting Anfontan to lay down some mandolin and lap steel tracks for me. Thanks Tony!!

I will be entering this into a songwriting contest in the next few weeks. Production isn't suppose to matter, but we all know how that goes.

All comments are welcome.

Thanks,

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7530879

 

[CIRO]

Far from home and listening on headphones (sorry for not "mixing" comments).
I Love *good*country music - that´s why right now, 04:42am (05:35-edit) here and I´m listening for the *9º time*(yes). What means :I like it a lot,and don´t need to listen "properly" or know exactly what is happening with "the mix",or eq, or stereo image...cause the SONG is good,period - (lame attempt?)
Vocal performance (nice melody and voice), drums,bass guitar-all sounds good and Tony did a pretty good job on mandolin and lap steel (not sure about the panning/frequencies,... due to the phones,as I said).


Congrats again,Chili!

Ciro

 

[jeffmaher]

The song could be presented on a finer platter....I think production matters ...even though they say not.

The drums: Crashes without a concurrent bass thump sound weak.

The HH is playing 3/4. The swing eighths would lend a little momentum to get the feel off the ground. "Chic-a chic-a chic-a"...as opposed to "chic chic chic".

The bass/snare figure is holding the flow of time firmly anchored. It would please my ear to hear: bass, 2,3 snare 2,3...with some little variations along the way, to smooth flow and add a little surprise here and there. ["Take it to the Limit" - Eagles, is an example]



The strings might be held back until later in the song. They're the same from start to end. An opportunity for build in dynamics and listener interest is lost.

The flangie FX on the guit and other strings doesn't fit with the song. Dry and more HF sound would be nice. An acoustic? Mando? Too much mud from the swishing.

The woof and warp of all the parts meshing together all the time, with little contrast outside of bass and mids is just much....no space. The texture is unrerringly thick, all the time.

The ambience of the kit and other components are in conflict...there is no logical, brain-pleasing way to imagine the virtual space in which the instruments play. The drum kit is dry and loud...sounds like a little room; the rest has fatter verb.....a bigger space overlaid. Does not compute comfortably in my imagination.

I like the quality of the vocal. The song is a good song, but I think if you want it dressed up nice for review...which can't hurt...some editing is a good idea.

If it were mine, I'd kill off all the flange and delay and whatever, use a single verb-type for all the instruments...and go light...needs breathing room;

add a HF stringed instrument like mando;

cut the comping on all the guit parts to make space; [the texture, busy-ness and EQ on the L&R slide and picked guits is very close...confusing. Better to pick one of the two, and double it L&R...or just kill one of the parts off.

hold back on the violin section until at least halfway into the tune....or on choruses only.....change the texture up a bit; or use a single fiddle!

change the feel of the drum part...and make sure the bass drum is hit with every cymbal crash;

put the drums much further back in the mix.

It's a good tune...but it's wearing grandma's one-piece shoulder-to-ankle 1915 bathing suit. Get out the scissors and make a bikini outta it. :^) Less if definitely more.

I don't know s**t. But that's what I'd do.

 

[rayc]

Chilli,
Headphone - & nasty ones at that but...
Vocals - nice - might need a litle hi freq lifted.
Drums - fine for the purpose - I don't hear a need for a thump to accompany the crash.
The synth might need some work just to soften the changes between notes be a little quieter.
Lap slide and mandolin give nice country colours.
Nice story and overall a good piece of work.
WELL DONE.

 

[Chili]

great comments already....

Far from home and listening on headphones (sorry for not "mixing" comments).
I Love *good*country music - that´s why right now, 04:42am (05:35-edit) here and I´m listening for the *9º time*(yes). What means :I like it a lot,and don´t need to listen "properly" or know exactly what is happening with "the mix",or eq, or stereo image...cause the SONG is good,period - (lame attempt?)
Vocal performance (nice melody and voice), drums,bass guitar-all sounds good and Tony did a pretty good job on mandolin and lap steel (not sure about the panning/frequencies,... due to the phones,as I said).


Congrats again,Chili!

Ciro

9 Times?? For real?? Okay, I can go home now. Thanks Ciro!!

The song could be presented on a finer platter....I think production matters ...even though they say not.

A lot to digest here!!! Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment!!

The HH is playing 3/4. The swing eighths would lend a little momentum to get the feel off the ground. "Chic-a chic-a chic-a"...as opposed to "chic chic chic".

This is a country waltz, at least trying to be. I heard in January that Nashville never picks up a waltz unless it's out of the park. So, I'm up for the challenge. The drums are ezdrummer with the Nashville pack. And, yup, basically, I just copied and paste on this one. I didn't put a lot of effort into editing, which I normally do. But I wanted the drums to be more subdued and just providing a beat. I'll look at it some more.

The strings might be held back until later in the song.

Good idea, I'll do that!!

The flangie FX on the guit and other strings doesn't fit with the song. Dry and more HF sound would be nice. An acoustic? Mando? Too much mud from the swishing.

Hmm, not sure what you're hearing here. There's two guitars, one strumming and the other finger-picking. The strummed guitar is completely dry and the finger-picked guitar is sent to a plate reverb same as vocals. I think the mud might be coming from the finger-picked guitar and I can work on notching that out some more.

There is a mando. Did you hear it?? I kept it low and brought it up for highlights. Love that mandolin!!!

wearing grandma's one-piece shoulder-to-ankle 1915 bathing suit

Not a bad way of putting it. Because it is a waltz, it's kind of what I was shooting for.

Thanks again, Jeff for your time to listen and comment. I really appreciate the great feedback!!!

Chilli,
Headphone - & nasty ones at that but...
Vocals - nice - might need a litle hi freq lifted.
Drums - fine for the purpose - I don't hear a need for a thump to accompany the crash.
The synth might need some work just to soften the changes between notes be a little quieter.
Lap slide and mandolin give nice country colours.
Nice story and overall a good piece of work.
WELL DONE.

Thanks much, Ray. I forgot to mention, this is mixed on headphones, too. I'm still not in my new studio yet. But I wanted to get advice and get it done to send it off. I'll look at the strings again.

Thanks All.

 

[ErichArndt]

The only real nitpick I'd have for this one is the vocals. You sound very unsure of yourself to me. Or maybe like you were trying to be very quiet when you were recording them. Don't be afraid to belt it out. Good song, but you should put yourself out there a little stronger. Some harmonies would be nice too.

The rest of it, thumbs-up for sure!

 

[jeffmaher]

I took another listen and found the mando panned R , flanged, and played in the low range...it blends with the guitars, and gets lost in the thickness of it all.

I love mando..it's magic. I moved my mando-heavy song to the top of the soundclick roster at the following link "I Don't Want To" My daughter's boyfriend happened to bring one to the house when I was recording this tune...so I used it...and determined that I really need to get one!

The mando is dry, close miked, you can hear the wood. This is the sound I was talking about.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=825703&content=music

In the tune, I use some of the ideas I talk about above. Not a country tune...I have some...but I gotta get that darn'd mandolin and finish them.

 

[Anfontan]

Sounds like it worked out well Chili, the drums and bass provide the waltz feel quite well. It does have an 'old time' feel thats appropriate.
The mandolin is obscured in the mix at times, is it panned opposite the lap steel? It may work a little better if it was panned a bit more to the middle.
I like how it turned out though-but then I am a bit biased....

 

[joeym]

Real nice, Dave!
Beautiful country song and I love your voice (some harmonies wouldn't hurt....). Tony's lap steel and banjo sound wonderful! I think what Jeff means is to put more dynamics in the arrangement, like starting slowly and climaxing in the end. But it already sounds nice the way it is. Well done!
PS: is this in your new studio?

Joey

 

[Nakatira]

Sounds good to me.

No Country expert or "consumer"

But this sounds good to me.

Sounds apropriate for this kinda style, my only nit is the snare I dont know what it is but there`s some thing there. I would tweak

But thats nit pickin, congrats on a new great track

 

[Chili]

The only real nitpick I'd have for this one is the vocals. You sound very unsure of yourself to me. Or maybe like you were trying to be very quiet when you were recording them. Don't be afraid to belt it out. Good song, but you should put yourself out there a little stronger. Some harmonies would be nice too.

The rest of it, thumbs-up for sure!

Thanks for listening. I might have been trying to sing quietly. I recorded this one at my last house where my daughter's bed was right on the other side of the wall. Most of the time, I do my recording late at night when the family is sleeping. I want to retrack vocals, but kind of ran out of time. Long story, boring details.

I took another listen and found the mando panned R , flanged, and played in the low range...it blends with the guitars, and gets lost in the thickness of it all.

Thanks for listening again, Jeff. I guarantee ya, there's nothing flanged in this song. Maybe you're hearing mp3 and/or soundclick artifacts.

Sounds like it worked out well Chili, the drums and bass provide the waltz feel quite well. It does have an 'old time' feel thats appropriate.
The mandolin is obscured in the mix at times, is it panned opposite the lap steel? It may work a little better if it was panned a bit more to the middle.
I like how it turned out though-but then I am a bit biased....

Thanks Tony, and thanks again for helping me with it. I automated the fader for the mando to put it in the background and bring it out for highlights and the little solo after the bridge. I liked the way you tracked it in a dual-purpose kind of mode. It was exactly what I was looking for. Yup, mando slightly right, lapsteel slightly left. I centered the mando in a couple of spots.

Real nice, Dave!
Beautiful country song and I love your voice (some harmonies wouldn't hurt....). Tony's lap steel and banjo sound wonderful! I think what Jeff means is to put more dynamics in the arrangement, like starting slowly and climaxing in the end. But it already sounds nice the way it is. Well done!
PS: is this in your new studio?

Joey

Thanks so much brother. Yup, I need harmonies. Care to take a try?? I've heard your backing vox before and you do it right!!

This is not in the new studio. I actually did this one quite a few months before the last one. I understand the lack of dynamics. I will take a good look at that. It's important.

Sounds good to me.

No Country expert or "consumer"

But this sounds good to me.

Sounds apropriate for this kinda style, my only nit is the snare I dont know what it is but there`s some thing there. I would tweak

But thats nit pickin, congrats on a new great track

Don't worry, I'm not a country expert or consumer, either. Not sure what I can say about the snare. It's ezdrummer right out of the can, basically. But duly noted and I will look at it. Probably not in time to submit for the contest, though. Thanks for listening and taking the time to comment!!

 

[Xeries]

I think it sounds great to my ears, Dave. I think there is a good balance both volume wise and frequency wise. Nothing harsh and a good feeling song. Good performance and musicianship. Nobody got in the way, IMO. Wig

 

[bkkornaker]

it doesnt sound like country to me.....but more like a Beatles tune.

for a country tune, i would have liked to hear more of the lap steel guitars up a bit more....

overall, i liked it. Its very organic sounding....nice and clear.

 

[Supercreep]

The only thing I can suggest is to introduce non-rhythm section instruments one or two at a time and try not to let them all speak at once. Let the instruments have a conversation behind your vocals. Sparse arrangements can be very powerful in a slow tempo song like this.

I like this song an awful lot. Nice work.