People must be speechless at this song
Gotta be honest... are you recording two people playing air hockey in the background?

Naw, that's your percussion

I'm hearing a cool vibe, but there seem to be some timing issues. It sounds like a nice room... good ambience.
"...would it just be too damn queer..." first line that pops out...
You got that lounge singer style there

For my lounge rock pleasure in the past, much of STP's "Tiny Music..." has done the job (a little more "rock" than "jazz", and you've reversed that here...)
Almost sounds like a half-serious recording... the bass seems to overpower your mix...
I do like the minimalist thing, and that far-off sounding lead is cool... (hopefully others will jump in here, and offer some more to ya)
Chad