im new here any crits?

[sane solution]

this is my first recording ever. i did it with my freind tyler. im the one with the deeper voice. i would appreciate any critisism. so please tell me what you think. thanks

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5749420&q=hi

 

[gullyjewelz]

i like the flow/delivery but it sounds very unpolished. a good style but it needs to be perfected. - would like to hear you on your own track . . . but the vocals are not clear enough