I'm a serial killer (DEXTER)

  • Thread starter Thread starter rockironwebb
  • Start date Start date
Musically this is OK: it's very John Carpenter - I assume that's deliberate because it's VERY Escape From New York in the intro.
The repeated tag line isn't sinister: repeated so often it becomes silly & then annoying. You might be well served to replace it with something that is less obvious but more sinister.
Something like:
I'm the neighbour,
You wave at me when I mow the lawn,
you came over for a BBQ once,
don't you let your dog crap in my front yard
Have you seen me on the way to work?
It's a blue work van,
the windows are painted white,
I wash out the interior as often as the exterior,
I keep it clean
can I be the clown at your next kiddy party?
It's my side line,
you see
apart from my 9 to 5 job
I'm a serial killer.
Serioulsy though... the music deserves a set of sound bite that build the tension: even chopping up that one phrase so it's
I'm
I'm a
I'm a s
I'm a seer
etc just to bring some matching tension to the words.
 
thanx for the tip

i plan to take it apart and piece it back together. This is just my rough start. I appreciate the feedback.
 
use more sound bites than that. it does get repetetive, otherwise the music is decent.
 
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