Kelly Holdridge
New member
If there's room on the CD, but not enough for a real song, may I suggest...
(credit: Slackmaster 2000)"Hello Mr. Larson. Are you the primary purchaser of printing supplies for your company?"
"Yeah."
"Hello, my name is Richard Head and I represent TFS Industries somewhere in California where there are few penalties for harassing people. Does your organization print stuff?"
"Yeah."
"And what kind of printers to you have?"
"HP"
"Good I'm going to pass this information on to my supervisor, and he'll be contacting you with super low prices on inkjet cartridges."
"Woopie"
....1 hour later....
"Hello, Mr. Larson? This is Steve Smackmyass with KMY Technologies. You spoke earlier with my secretary."
"I guess."
"Well, I've got some exciting news. I'm sending you out some cartridges for your printers. Our cartridges print better and last 10 times longer than your current cartridges, and are 50% cheaper."
"Hmm..."
"Let me ask you something Mr. Larson, how often do you change your print cartridges?"
"When they're empty."
"Great, then you'll be extremely excited about our patented printer cartridges that require less changing."
"Oh boy!"
"I'm sending you a pack of three cartridges at no cost to you. Try them out. If you're not completely satisfied with the product, feel free to ship them back to us, and pay nothing."
"So can I return them for any reason?"
"Yes, if our cartridges don't last longer than your current cartridges, just return them and pay nothing."
"So can I return them for any reason?"
"Ah, yes, if they do not perform as I mentioned, you can return them at no charge."
"So can I return them for any reason?"
"Mr. Larson, are you planning on returning the cartridges."
"Yes."
"Well, we can't send you the cartridges if you're just going to return them."
"How much do I have to pay if your cartridges do last longer than my current cartridges?"
"$120, an excellent value."
"And if I still don't want to keep them?"
"I'm sorry sir, I don't understand. How much do you currently pay for your printer cartridges?"
"I refill them for $10."
"Oh, but why go through that messy hassle?"
"It's not messy, and it's not a hassle. In fact I enjoy it. I sit outside, stick a cartridge in the refiller, press a button, and hang out for 2-3 minutes."
"Oh, do you have any lazer printers at your organization."
"No."
*click*
and/or:
(credit: Nilbog. BTW, got the recording?)
Salesperson: Hi, I'm calling about a new long distance plan, do you make the decisions.
Me: Yes
SP: Well, basically it's 9 cents a minute, 24 hours, 7 days a week, anywhere in the continental US.
Me: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 9 cents a minute?
SP: Yup.
Me: Well, damn, that's pretty expensive.
SP: That's pretty good, sir.
Me: Well, let's see, 60 minutes, times 24 hours a day, time 7 days in a week. That's $10,080 a week!
SP: No! That's only if you choose to speak to someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Me: Oh I got it, but I'm not really interested, I have a calling card.
(credit: Slackmaster 2000)"Hello Mr. Larson. Are you the primary purchaser of printing supplies for your company?"
"Yeah."
"Hello, my name is Richard Head and I represent TFS Industries somewhere in California where there are few penalties for harassing people. Does your organization print stuff?"
"Yeah."
"And what kind of printers to you have?"
"HP"
"Good I'm going to pass this information on to my supervisor, and he'll be contacting you with super low prices on inkjet cartridges."
"Woopie"
....1 hour later....
"Hello, Mr. Larson? This is Steve Smackmyass with KMY Technologies. You spoke earlier with my secretary."
"I guess."
"Well, I've got some exciting news. I'm sending you out some cartridges for your printers. Our cartridges print better and last 10 times longer than your current cartridges, and are 50% cheaper."
"Hmm..."
"Let me ask you something Mr. Larson, how often do you change your print cartridges?"
"When they're empty."
"Great, then you'll be extremely excited about our patented printer cartridges that require less changing."
"Oh boy!"
"I'm sending you a pack of three cartridges at no cost to you. Try them out. If you're not completely satisfied with the product, feel free to ship them back to us, and pay nothing."
"So can I return them for any reason?"
"Yes, if our cartridges don't last longer than your current cartridges, just return them and pay nothing."
"So can I return them for any reason?"
"Ah, yes, if they do not perform as I mentioned, you can return them at no charge."
"So can I return them for any reason?"
"Mr. Larson, are you planning on returning the cartridges."
"Yes."
"Well, we can't send you the cartridges if you're just going to return them."
"How much do I have to pay if your cartridges do last longer than my current cartridges?"
"$120, an excellent value."
"And if I still don't want to keep them?"
"I'm sorry sir, I don't understand. How much do you currently pay for your printer cartridges?"
"I refill them for $10."
"Oh, but why go through that messy hassle?"
"It's not messy, and it's not a hassle. In fact I enjoy it. I sit outside, stick a cartridge in the refiller, press a button, and hang out for 2-3 minutes."
"Oh, do you have any lazer printers at your organization."
"No."
*click*
and/or:
(credit: Nilbog. BTW, got the recording?)
Salesperson: Hi, I'm calling about a new long distance plan, do you make the decisions.
Me: Yes
SP: Well, basically it's 9 cents a minute, 24 hours, 7 days a week, anywhere in the continental US.
Me: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 9 cents a minute?
SP: Yup.
Me: Well, damn, that's pretty expensive.
SP: That's pretty good, sir.
Me: Well, let's see, 60 minutes, times 24 hours a day, time 7 days in a week. That's $10,080 a week!
SP: No! That's only if you choose to speak to someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Me: Oh I got it, but I'm not really interested, I have a calling card.