I think I got a good concept going. "Today"

[DAS19]

Today
Words by: David Silverstein

Verse

I want to save the world today
Ill be the hero no matter what you say
And I will rescue the girl, and save the world
Today

I'd like to play in the marching band
I'd play all of the horns, only one who can
Ill even play the drums, beat them one by one
Today

I want to be the baseball star
Ill catch all the balls no matter near or far
Ill be the cheerleaders dream, on the football team
Today

Its still a work in progress but I liked where I was going and was wondering what other people had to say.

 

[Whatmysay]

Nice direction with this – there is a certain irony already going on and you could intensify this more by every increasing delusions of grandeur

I’ll be the president . . .
I’ll be your deity . . .

Or you could push it further

I’ll be your suicide bomb, just pray and strap me on . . .

If you get a nice little riff going on between these short verses; I’m not sure it would need a chorus

PS – what happened with the girl???

Burt

 

[up-fiddler]

I like the idea of his omnipotence in the present. (Today!) Perhaps a bridge or chorus tying the present in with the past or the future and develop the concept of time concurrently with the storyline. Just a thought. Give it a post when there is some music backing.

 

[DAS19]

PS – what happened with the girl???

If you really want to know shes cheating on her boyfriend with another guy already. She plays the sweet innocent type but cheats on her boyfriend for two and a half years. Stay tuned for the hate song. It hasn't came out of me yet but just talking about it gets me pissed lol. I have to still be friend I guess im kinda stuck on that probably will be another song about how I dont know what to do be friend or just write her off completely.

Thanks for the comments and ideas so far.

 

[Folkie]

Today
Words by: David Silverstein

Verse

I want to save the world today
Ill be the hero no matter what you say
And I will rescue the girl, and save the world
Today

I'd like to play in the marching band
I'd play all of the horns, only one who can
Ill even play the drums, beat them one by one
Today

I want to be the baseball star
Ill catch all the balls no matter near or far
Ill be the cheerleaders dream, on the football team
Today

Its still a work in progress but I liked where I was going and was wondering what other people had to say.

The title has been done I think ("Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine, I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine...") but the concept is great.

Young kid with dreams of glory--I can see a dozen ways for it to go. (Perhaps not the suicide bomber thing.) Up-fiddler has a good idea of tying the time thing in. I was thinking that the second half of the thing could be an old man looking back ("I was the baseball star, broke my leg and here's the scar. The cheerleaders left me alone, my football fame was blown..."

Anyways, the dreams that he had, that didn't come true, but good things happened anyway (the bridge?)

Your tune, though, and it's good so far...