now, with my new monitors, i'm hearing the buildups more accurately, and believe it or not, some of it is coming from the acoustic guitars........ i thought i had nailed that mix, but when everything comes in, those parts carry with them some frequencies i just didn't hear the first time........
That's interesting... traditional wisdom says monitors reproduce
less bass & have a tighter response down low than home stereo

Then again, your monitors are your own... and if they're saying that...
the bass is a real problem, and i can limit and compress it to get rid of the boom, but i don't like the feel of it then........ the bass itself is a real problem, it's at the top of my G.A.S. list..........
This was going to be the next suggestion... A last ditch might be multiband-compression? If you're working on a PC, Sonic Foundry sells a Direct-X plugin package called "XFX2" with multiband dynamics (about $60) -- you'll need DAW software to plug into.
Okay... listening to this on monitors... (running in and typing every few bars

)
Right off the bat, the bass and trash can snare(?) sound are clashing... bass seems to have most of its energy higher than usual... about 125Hz... doesn't sound boomy so far... in fact, it seems a little lightweight... OK once the voices start, the volume on the bass actually sounds boosted, then the kick gets mushy and almost disappears. Bass still sounds more "trebly" than usual, tho... and it's low in the mix. Mix is heaviest between 2-4kHz.
Ok yes... at 1:30 or so, the acoustics come in, and they do seem to have alot around 125-150Hz... but, they're hard panned? Might wanna try rolling them off below 140... (still doesn't solve the earlier lack of clarity.... probably a spectral balance issue -- too many mids). Yeah, those acoustics REALLY reinforce the lows on the bass, but not too bad. Maybe only 2-3db too loud.
In this particular part, the low mids seem to go away... there aren't really many low lows, just the stuff above 100Hz. IMO this is mostly a level issue, where guitar distortion that's too loud throws the spectral balance off... you may have to get some cleaner tracks, too...
IMO the cleaner tracks would be the drum tracks... that percussion just sounds bad and is contributing to an overall lack of clarity... maybe try a mix without the drums and see if your clarity isn't boosted 10-fold. It's almost like a mono drum track... right down the center... dirtying everything up.
Guitars start doubling at 2:50 or so... some boominess between 150-200... (that could be solved with levels and panning)
At 3:20 the bass sounds good, but the incoming bass drum sounds robbed of its thump (near 80-90Hz).
Awesome lead lick on the outro...
The thing that sticks out is that swirly, garbage can snare sound... everything else, individually, sounds clean. Was this another "canned" drum sound, or was it a mic'ed drumset? If so, I'd lean heavily toward thinking the snare was mic'ed top/bottom and has some swirly phase problems to prove it.
WHEW!

Hope this isn't too much to shake some salt at ... save some for Jimmy Buffet & Margaritaville
EDIT: This suggests you may be getting some standing waves, causing the bass response in your room to be exaggerated. You may want to invest in some bass traps... Performance Audio in Salt Lake sells those.
EDIT #2: Just realized what I typed

No, bass traps won't kill standing waves, but they'll tighten bass response. You may want to get a Primacoustic Kit to help kill the standing waves.
Chad