HRC #4 What You Used To Be............

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joro

joro

The Pie Guy
OK.......we are first..................
Great colab...great partners...
Please send positive thoughts To my collab partners Mika and Skids......They are in need of some moral support.....
Don't be a dickhead....OK?


The Tunage at NoWhere..................
What You Used To Be.............

At Soundclick...
What You Used To Be.....................


At IUMA..................
What You Use To Be...................



Here are the lyrics...........

What You Used To Be
© 2003 Skidmore, Rogier & Skidmore

V1
Can't remember
The right things to say
The words seem to stumble out
Like some tired cliché

Can't remember
The right things to do
How long is enough
To fight for your rescue

V2
Can't remember
The last time you smiled
It's been so damn long now
It must have been last Fall

Can't remember
The last time we kissed
Had to be last Summer
Can't take much more of this

Chorus
You must know that I love you
Can't you see that I care
As I watch you slowly
Slip deeper into despair
It's like the Winter
As the leaves fall from the trees
And you simply fade away
From what you used to be

V3
Now every day is like Winter
The winter of our souls
It snows melancholy
As depression takes it's toll

Everyday is much colder
Than the day before
Can't stand to watch you fade
I can't take anymore

V4
God please forgive me
For what I must do
As I slip out the door
And I run away from you

I reach the streetlight
I turn and look back
I remember what once was
As it Fades into black

Chorus
You must know that I love you
Can't you see that I care
As I watch you slowly
Slip deeper into despair
It's like the Winter
As the leaves fall from the trees
And you simply fade away
From what you used to be

Bridge
I can remember our last Spring
Hadn't one care or one fear
We would laugh, dance and sing
In the Springtime of our last year
The Springtime of our last year

Chorus
You must know that I love you
Can't you see that I care
As I watch you slowly
Slip deeper into despair
It's like the Winter
As the leaves fall from the trees
And you simply fade away
From what you used to be
From what you used to be
From what you used to....

From what you used to be..........
finis.............




For me..this was a great chance to meet and work with someone from really far away....I think it worked out really well....
ciao,
Joe
 
Big 5***** coming from here! Who sang this? I got goose bumps and stuff:D Major prop's to everyone involved! I like it muchO!

David
 
I'm getting ready to play Quake 3 with Sam, so I'm just streaming this really quick while he gets his shit together.


I am really digging this song.

One quick and I mena quick note...guitar at the right coming in around :50. That has to come up or get cut. I'll be back with more tomorrow. Awesome song!

Tom
 
Oh ya, so who sang this? Outstanding job! Would love to duet some time.
 
very entertaining vocals, good harmony and interaction. The rythym guitars were good and recorded well in this too. Keys seasoned the palette. bass and drums could stand up a little more and the electric guitar. Nice work...
 
Smooth... Indigo Chicks... Alanis Whats-her-sette... vox very good.... performance very tight...

Better snare sound, possibly? Voice

Excellent composition and arrangement.

Okay... who did what?? :D

Very nice all around... great result. Got this going w/a BANG!!!


c w/5
 
Mika sang this tune guys.....she is Skids wife.......


She really is the best part of the tune................
She wrote the Bridge music...sang all the vox...and played the piano.............



A really talented lady.......
Skids too........he played the drums and bass.... and engineered from 1000 miles away....I just did what he told me to do with the mix......he's got great ears...Ya know?

I wrote the music and lyrics and played the guitars...



Thanks guys,
Joe
 
Wow…this is an excellent first out for the challenge. I have to go pretty deep to find anything to nit pick on this.

The voice sounds kind of boxy to me. It is sung very well…just something about the sound of the voice is bothering me. Maybe a little verb? Keep in mind I’m listening on cans at work.

The song itself is quite good. Although, I ended up not really respecting the main character. If I understood the song right, her significant other is suffering from depression. Then she goes on to say how much she loves him, but she is leaving. I either wanted to hear that things got better, or hear some really damning evidence against him justify her leaving. I actually think you have room to make that case in these lyrics. Solid writing nonetheless… just my .02 :)

Very nice job by all involved. 5 from me (and I don't use the stars very often) ;)
 
Great job all! Joro, looks like you got hooked up for the challenge! Good songwriting man. Very well put together tunage. I think I would like the vox a little more on top though. Great voice!


bd

BTW.. Joe, I did write the beginnings of a prison blues tune when I went to Ohio. Get in touch when you get a chance, I'll try to get something recorded for ya.
 
Fem VOX is STAR, backups ...

First Listening.

00:08
----------
As this little piano fill tickles us and provides a distraction, use this to bring the guitar down 2db so the vocal can ENTER with plenty of headroom, where nobody would ever, ever have to even contemplate a struggle, (for even a split second), as to what the actual words are that she is singing.

Matter of fact, if you bring down the guitar at this point, nobody would notice, because we are going to listen to that piano fill so nicely placed in the stereo field, and that piano fill structurally sets up the entrance of the vocal. It is soft and beautiful, like the ladies voice. The guitar is the backbone of the song, the strength, let the beast go, so the beauty can shine.

Bringing the guitar down with a 'fast curve' envelope just as the piano fill starts, this will let us 'fall' into her vocal, it will make it seem as though the entire song ... takes a breath ... to start her vocal ... just as she is actually doing in preparation to sing.

Invite us into her verse, don't make us fight the guitar for an instant.

The beginning vocal in a song, the presentation of the first verse must be ULTRA-CLEAN and CLEAR, please. You must cater to her.

The rythm guitar is much to loud at 00:10 when she comes in. The ladies pretty vocal is the star ... DON'T STEP ON HER. Especially ... in the beginning.

;-) , make the intro longer if you want ...

At 00:30 she is warming up, she is singing MUCH louder. With a female vocal, 1db difference is a BIG difference ... huge.

At 0:56 how dare you tease me with this level on these backup vocals, this woman and her voice are the star of the song, the rest of you are dime a dozen, like some ... fiddle player or something ... ok ?

Backup vocals, when you have a female talent singing like this the ladies backup vocals are GOLDEN, we guys LIKE that sort of stuff, don't tease us. Bring these backup vocals up AT LEAST 2db ... slather them in delay, but not too much reverb.

She is an 'acoutic' instrument and a very, very delicate one. you need to create much more headroom for her voice, the acoustic guitar is crowding her big time.

At 1:07 same thing with the backup vocals, remember she has started to sing louder, the backup vocals must come up to match her increase in singing support and volume.

I need another piano fill at 01:15-01:17

At 01:23, bring that darn acoustic guitar down, but don't bring the piano up, we'll be able to hear the piano fine, if you create more headroom for everyone by bringing the acoustic DOWN.

If you want to regulate the volume of the acoustic guitar, do so in the middle of the phrase, where she is supporting more and singing at a higher volume. Make a volume envelope that is a frown over the course of a phrase.

At 2:09, much better on the backup vocal, I like that flanging sound ?

At 2:23, when she hits that high note, see if you can roll some 'tap delay' off that, make it last ...

At 2:28, I want another piano fill, because you are bringing the piano back in during the verse, that dead air can serve nicely to frame the piano fill, and it's a quality piano sound also.

At 2:40, better on the backup vocals, but I would push it even another 1db.

At 2:54, believe it or not, you can bring up that distorted guitar just a bit more, it's got so much reverb, ... bring it up half a db, she's singing really well there, and supporting, she'll cut through fine. You've really built up to that entrance, and it's dynamically a high point in the song. I'd like to hear a stronger drum fill into that section also. More distorted wall guitar there please.

At 3:02 ... all the backup vocals should be at that level, 3:13 even better.

She is the star, she is 'the voice' ... do her right. This song is all about her.

By the end of the song, her vocal level is better, but that's on a second listening. My sentiments about her vocal level remain with my first listen, which is really the only one that counts.

Now you need a solo somewhere ...

GOOD EFFORT, nice song, thanks for working so hard together and sharing.
 
Ha Ha Ha. Joro you've been sitting there with your finger on the "upload" button for a week haven't you? First off, great tunage, and great talent. You've really set the bar for the challenge. Nice job.

Someone described the vocal as "boxy". I'm not too sure what that means, but I would agree that there was something slightly amiss with the vocal E.Q. though I couldn't put my finger on it at first listen. maybe a little to strong in the upper mids. Maybe it's just fighting with the acoustic guitar a little for space. I thought the mic suited her voice nicely though. There was a bit of sibilance in that first verse, and I thought the fade at the end was a bit abrupt. Minor details, easily fixed. Way to go you guys, this was a great success, and congrats for getting the first tune up. Let the show begin!


Twist
 
First rate tunage ya'll! Very nice tune........I like the lyrics........so she's gonna dump the sad guy, there's a limit to what someone can accept....not everyone's gonna set their own life aside forever.

The vox are definitely 'boxy' sounding. I bet you could pull out aroung 800hz to 1k or so and pull it down about 2 db at that freq and that would maybe clear it up some.

Nice singing and a really nice song structure....thumbs up for sure....what a great start to things.
 
Good song, and good performances all around!:cool:

Mix is a bit muddy, but not terribly so. I think some surgical EQing would take care of that.

I think some light percussion like a shaker/egg would be a nice touch as well.
 
Cool!

I was sort of hoping Skids would jump in on this but he is pretty busy lately..

Jagular...
Yeah man...I hear ya but, it just isn't that way in real life...
If you have ever loved someone who has gotten sick like this...
well....you might understand...
I am gonna try another mix sometime soon...maybe start from scratch and ride the fader instead of using compression on the vox..Thanks man,....


BD...
cool man...thanks for the props...
A colab sounds cool man....
What do you want me to do on your new tune?
Drop me a PM man...I am always up for a colab :D


Studioviols
Wow man...pretty comprehensive critique....Thank you very much..
I will take all into consideration on the re-mix man...
I appreciate the time you took to go through it in such detail man...Cool! :D


twist...
yeah.....my finger has been pretty itchy this past week :D
I did de-esss the vox but not heavy....I will go a bit further on the re-mix and see how it sounds...I'll also try better placement and volume treatment on the acoustic throughout..
Thanks man...


Lt.
Thanks for the props and as I said above...I am gonna re-work it and focus on the vox....and yeah...you hit the nail on the head about the story.....Glad you dug the tunage man...


M.Brane....
I agree that some additional light percussion would be very cool...Thanks for the listen man...

Skids should be chiming in soon...
This was a great experience for me......
Thanks Tom for thinking of it :D

Take it easy gang,
Joe
 
All I can say is: You got this thing off with a bang! I really dig the vocals on this and I like that bridge. It fits well with the tune even though you guys were miles apart.

If this is just the beginning, then we all have a lot to live up to.

Excellent job Joro, Mika and Skids!

:D
 
nice job. can't give mix comments from my altec lansing computer speakers. nice job singing.
 
The acoustic sounds good but the electric is perhaps too fuzzy and indistinct. Could the vocal be a tiny bit more compressed? Nice singing though and a nice tune. Now you made us all feel like lazy slobs.
 
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