First, what mic's are you using, and how are they set up? Some mic's reject bleed better than others. Personally, I like the Audix D series on toms, and typically just throw an SM57 on top snare, and sometimes a Line Audio CM2 on the bottom (remember to flip the phase). But, bleed can be your friend, although it can limit the extent to which you can adjust the eq on some drums. Sometimes, it can come down to a drummer who knows only to bash the crap out of his hats and cymbals. As for the kick, I tend to drape a thick blanket over the outer head; this stops most of the bleed, and gives me a lot of flexibitlity for eq'ing (I use a D112). When I do gate drums, recently I've been using the UAD-1 Neve 88RS. I tend to allow some bleed even then.