Hero - A simple rock track

soulicparadox

New member


Hi, everyone. This is one of the songs in my new album. I accept constructive criticism as long as it improves my skills. So, please feel free to tell me whatever problem it has. Songwriting, lyrics, vocals, mixing and so on.
One of my friends said that all of my songs are out of rhythm and I'm curious if it really is.
Thanks in advance.

== Lyrics ==
When we were little kids
We had heroes in our heart
Everyone believed firmly
the heroes would show up

Diving into society
stole our heroes
Everyday gnaws at me
We need the heroes

Hero
We are the hero
Head up and look ahead
Hero
We are the hero
Stand up and go forward

Every time I struggle
I shout SOS to a hero
But the heroes only on TV
Nobody's gonna rescue me

Diving into society
stole our heroes
Time to take them back again
Where are the heroes

Hero
We are the hero
Head up and look ahead
Hero
We are the hero
Stand up and go forward
 
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I can hear what your friend may be referring to. The music seems quite ok but it's your lyrical rhythm that may appear stylistically awkward. Much of your phrasing lacks an easy flow. That's not to say it doesn't work - it's not to the point of being disruptive or totally out of sync. It's a stylistic choice you and other artists have made. It certainly defines the song and creates an easily identifiable "sound" which may become your trademark.

The opening instrumental sequence brought to mind a group called Starcastle : https://starcastlerocks.com/
 
I can hear what your friend may be referring to. The music seems quite ok but it's your lyrical rhythm that may appear stylistically awkward. Much of your phrasing lacks an easy flow. That's not to say it doesn't work - it's not to the point of being disruptive or totally out of sync. It's a stylistic choice you and other artists have made. It certainly defines the song and creates an easily identifiable "sound" which may become your trademark.

The opening instrumental sequence brought to mind a group called Starcastle : https://starcastlerocks.com/
I really appreciate your review. It's really detailed and you picked what I wanted to know. I was also concerned about the vocal part and it was right.
Btw, could you tell me which song of Starcastle made you think like that, please? I checked it out, but couldn't find it.
 
Sometimes people confuse "syncopation" with "out of rhythm" so unless your friends are musicians, I wouldn't take much stock into what they say. That being said... there were possibly a few of the "lead guitar" parts that maybe came a little "fast" or "slow" ahead or behind the beat a little... Overall mix sounds good. It is a little unusual having FX on the "main vocals" throughout the whole song though. Maybe try mixing in a cleaner vocal above the FX vocals and maybe only in the chorus? I don't know, that's just personal preference and mix/arrangement ideas for more of a "moving" song...
 
Sometimes people confuse "syncopation" with "out of rhythm" so unless your friends are musicians, I wouldn't take much stock into what they say. That being said... there were possibly a few of the "lead guitar" parts that maybe came a little "fast" or "slow" ahead or behind the beat a little... Overall mix sounds good. It is a little unusual having FX on the "main vocals" throughout the whole song though. Maybe try mixing in a cleaner vocal above the FX vocals and maybe only in the chorus? I don't know, that's just personal preference and mix/arrangement ideas for more of a "moving" song...
Thanks a lot for the feedback. That's what my friend said. She works in the music performance industry but is not a musician currently. She also talked about the lead guitar part what you pointed out. Interesting! I guess it's because I was lazy for quantizing. I should use it properly next time. Could you point out which parts are exactly, please?
I didn't expect that the mix of my songs is good. I always think my mixing skill is still far away to go. I used pitch correction to high up the pitch as my vocal technique sucks as well. What I don't understand is why not use FX on the main vocals. Everybody uses FX for the main vocal as far as I understand. EQ, comp, reverb, delay, saturator and so on. Isn't it? Or are you referring to something else to FX?
 
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I'm not sure what your friend is referring to either, but the lead guitar is rushing badly in the intro. By contrast, the rhythm guitars are fairly tight throughout.

Regarding the lead vocals, I'm not sure what you're going for here, but the sound is .... very odd. It's strident and harsh and not pleasant. There are some tuning issues here and there as well, but it's hard to even listen for them because the sound is so piercing. They're also too quiet compared to the pounding rhythm guitars, so it's fatiguing trying to decipher them.

Are you going for the telephone-style midrangey old-time radio effect on the vocals? Because that's almost what it sounds like. It's very odd.

I think the song is pretty cool, but the mix (mainly the vocals) is just killing it right now, IMHO.
 
I'm not sure what your friend is referring to either, but the lead guitar is rushing badly in the intro. By contrast, the rhythm guitars are fairly tight throughout.

Regarding the lead vocals, I'm not sure what you're going for here, but the sound is .... very odd. It's strident and harsh and not pleasant. There are some tuning issues here and there as well, but it's hard to even listen for them because the sound is so piercing. They're also too quiet compared to the pounding rhythm guitars, so it's fatiguing trying to decipher them.

Are you going for the telephone-style midrangey old-time radio effect on the vocals? Because that's almost what it sounds like. It's very odd.

I think the song is pretty cool, but the mix (mainly the vocals) is just killing it right now, IMHO.
Thanks for the detailed honest feedback. I didn't realize the intro lead guitar is rushing. Interesting.
Mixing vocal is really tough. I've spent lots of time on that, but still don't know how to make it better. But I don't think it sounds like a telephone effect for me. The vocal balance may be ok, I think. If I increase the volume of the vocal, then you won't be able to hear other instruments. I should study more about mixing vocals.
 


Hi, everyone. This is one of the songs in my new album. I accept constructive criticism as long as it improves my skills. So, please feel free to tell me whatever problem it has. Songwriting, lyrics, vocals, mixing and so on.
One of my friends said that all of my songs are out of rhythm and I'm curious if it really is.
Thanks in advance.

== Lyrics ==
When we were little kids
We had heroes in our heart
Everyone believed firmly
the heroes would show up

Diving into society
stole our heroes
Everyday gnaws at me
We need the heroes

Hero
We are the hero
Head up and look ahead
Hero
We are the hero
Stand up and go forward

Every time I struggle
I shout SOS to a hero
But the heroes only on TV
Nobody's gonna rescue me

Diving into society
stole our heroes
Time to take them back again
Where are the heroes

Hero
We are the hero
Head up and look ahead
Hero
We are the hero
Stand up and go forward

soulicparadox - From where I come - 2 Grammy Nominations - Number 14 record on BillBoard's Hot 100 Chart - Producer - Director - 50 year musician (guitar/bass) Songwriter etc. etc. Every once in a while I like to find someone that I can help and "pay it forward" and Soulman I just picked you !! So let me give you my basic impressions of the song you posted and a brief overview. If you want more a more detailed critique I am happy to do it by personal email which I am happy to supply to you and vise versa.​

Your instrumentation is very tight and I can tell you work very hard at that part of it. The vocal is buried and unintelligible, you can get away with that if you are a well known artist but as a Newbie you have to show your stuff, burying the vocal is not the way to do so. I think your voice is very unique, unusual and different which are the keynotes to getting recognized and isn't "getting recognized" what it's all about for all of us.​

Truth be told, we as musicians crave recognition and I am no exception.​

As far as your song is concerned it's too close to Gun's & Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" and I'll bet you listen to them frequently. There is one thing about this business which is a recipe for success and that is if you want to "make it" you've got to be DIFFERENT than anyone else. Look at every big group and what do they have in common? They are different than the next! 20 bars for an intro is way, way too long, try 8 bars and then jump in with the vocals. 20 bars gets boring and I don't know many DJ's that would go for that. Remember one thing Soulman, you've got to satisfy the record spinners and station music directors first before anybody else because if you don't get record play you ain't going nowhere friend. The next crowd you want to appeal to are the 10 to 16 year old kids because they are the ones paying the green to make you a successful artist.​

Beginning with the line "Driving into Society" the song, in general, takes a nose-dive. If I were producing you I'd say just leave out that part "Driving into Society" and jump directly into the Chorus beginning with "Hero." You have to come out of the box swinging and don't stop until the song ends and with the "Driving into Society" sections the song simply jumps off of a cliff. Then you come back with the Chorus which his very, very good. You can't have up's and down's, you've got to move in an upward direction until the song ends.​

So that's it from me for now, if you want to go further email me at Zal45@cox.net and we'll get down to business with you. In closing, I think you've got very good potential my musical friend.​

 

soulicparadox - From where I come - 2 Grammy Nominations - Number 14 record on BillBoard's Hot 100 Chart - Producer - Director - 50 year musician (guitar/bass) Songwriter etc. etc. Every once in a while I like to find someone that I can help and "pay it forward" and Soulman I just picked you !! So let me give you my basic impressions of the song you posted and a brief overview. If you want more a more detailed critique I am happy to do it by personal email which I am happy to supply to you and vise versa.​

Your instrumentation is very tight and I can tell you work very hard at that part of it. The vocal is buried and unintelligible, you can get away with that if you are a well known artist but as a Newbie you have to show your stuff, burying the vocal is not the way to do so. I think your voice is very unique, unusual and different which are the keynotes to getting recognized and isn't "getting recognized" what it's all about for all of us.​

Truth be told, we as musicians crave recognition and I am no exception.​

As far as your song is concerned it's too close to Gun's & Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" and I'll bet you listen to them frequently. There is one thing about this business which is a recipe for success and that is if you want to "make it" you've got to be DIFFERENT than anyone else. Look at every big group and what do they have in common? They are different than the next! 20 bars for an intro is way, way too long, try 8 bars and then jump in with the vocals. 20 bars gets boring and I don't know many DJ's that would go for that. Remember one thing Soulman, you've got to satisfy the record spinners and station music directors first before anybody else because if you don't get record play you ain't going nowhere friend. The next crowd you want to appeal to are the 10 to 16 year old kids because they are the ones paying the green to make you a successful artist.​

Beginning with the line "Driving into Society" the song, in general, takes a nose-dive. If I were producing you I'd say just leave out that part "Driving into Society" and jump directly into the Chorus beginning with "Hero." You have to come out of the box swinging and don't stop until the song ends and with the "Driving into Society" sections the song simply jumps off of a cliff. Then you come back with the Chorus which his very, very good. You can't have up's and down's, you've got to move in an upward direction until the song ends.​

So that's it from me for now, if you want to go further email me at Zal45@cox.net and we'll get down to business with you. In closing, I think you've got very good potential my musical friend.​

Great! This is really critique and practical feedback. Well, I can't deny that I've been a big fan of Guns N' Roses. This song can be similar to "Sweet Child O' Mine", but I tried to make it different. I think it's failed :P
I totally understand what you mean. If you listen to my other songs, you will be able to find this song is different from them. I have my style and don't sing with a high pitch in other songs. For the radio station stuff, it's really tough for it these days. I've heard it everywhere and tried to make the intro part short, but I can't make every single song like that.
I also tried to pump up the volume of the vocal part and it sounds horrible. That's why I put it down. But already two people pointed it out, so I think that I should re-think it.
I really appreciate it.
 
Yes, in the old days a young musical group (or single artist)) would write and use a studio to record songs. Once they did that they would try to sell it to one of the popular record companies to try to get a record deal. If the record company liked them they'd sign them and then release the song. Their sales staff would go out and solicit the radio stations in their REGIONAL area (about a 100 miles radius). They would shmooze the DJ's with payola (gifts, women, dinners etc). So what they were hoping for was that their song would "break" and people would request it. If it was good, people would call in and request more airplay for it. So let's say there was 3 of these stations getting a lot of requests and then other stations would pick up on it and it would boomerang and spread until 100's of stations were playing it and that is what was mean as "breaking a record!" Back then the idea was to make sure you kept your song 3:00 minutes or under because of the way the commercial ads were set up at the stations. Most songs over 3:00 min. would never get played. Once the song "broke" your record company would send you on tour all expenses paid and that is where you made your money NOT FROM RECORD SALES !!! So the point is, every young nobody could become a "somebody" by getting lucky, writing a catchy song. Then the US government ushered in political Talk Radio and eventually that is what killed AM radio that played brand new material instead of Oldies. It was OUR government that caused that to happen which is a whole other story for another time. So yes, I know what you mean about having no place to get heard except on the net.

First off, I am surprised you had no questions for me which tends to mean you are committed to what you are doing and doing it your way. I could be wrong. I gave my email which is how I thought you would respond. I'll just finish by saying as I said before, you're voice is quite unique, it's like a new house plant, you have to find the right soil to plant it in for good growth. So what was the key word in my last response? It was the word DIFFERENT !!! Your voice is different which is a big advantage for anyone. In conclusion Soulman (and yes, I know your tag is soulicparadox) here is the deal - You've got a really good mix and I mean REALLY GOOD but I think you're junking it up with all the frills, special effects and so on. If I was producing you I would say "Soulman keep it tight but raw, you don't need to sound like a mechanized robot. Stop with the nit-picking and getting it "perfect." Why stop with the "perfection?" Because everybody is doing it and you want to be "DIFFERENT" don't you? Get it? You've got to do what somebody ISN'T doing. Why did the Rolling Stones have such great success? Because they were raw, their music was RAW. It wasn't perfect.

I worked with a recording Engineer at Chess Studios in Chicago, ILL. Ron Malo was the recording engineer who recorded some of the Stones biggest selling albums. So what did I learn from Ron? I learned that overly produced stuff with a very mechanical mechanized sound doesn't cut it. His shtick was that if you made a mistake when recording you don't necessarily remove it from the mix because by doing so it would destroy the rawness. Of course this happened well before synth keyboards were invented (1968).

From what I can see I think you know song structures for instance: 1st Verse, 2nd Verse, Chorus, 3rd Verse Chorus, Chorus then end it, or various forms of that order such as 1st Verse, Chorus, 2nd Verse Chorus Chorus End it and so on. I think you know that but 99% of writer have no idea what that means. The song has to have order PERIOD.

So that's about it bud. Listen Soulman, I gave you my email address if you have any questions use that and I'll help you if I can. I spent my life in every end of this business and it is going in the dumper fast (hardly any concerts to go to now because of the Plandemic bullshit). What I do now, when I feel like it, is try to help someone every now and then. You made the call and I answered. You've got a musical future bud but you are adrift in the ocean and too many people are giving you advice that don't know what the hell they are talking about.
 
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