Help me continue this song...

[ItzCashew]

Ok I'm a n00b at song writing. I mean i'm trying to write rap/R&B type songs and i never come up with anything that's "worth listening to".

Well this is a working progress on a song im working on to this BEAT .

Lovely

Girl, you're so lovely to me
And i need u like the air we breath
I just cant help thinking about the things to be
From now to the end of time
I just wanna make you mine

I can say it in a million ways
But i can never tell you straight
I can never find the courage
To just let you know how i feel inside
I wanted our emotions to coincide

Thats all i have for now...

 

[Botinok]

i wanna hear your vocal abilities...if you have a decent sound and its just a lyrical problem..i can write you something

 

[pseudosun]

I may be wrong, but it seems that there is an extra line. Maybe the verse should be 4 lines instead of 5. I was hummin to the lyrics, and couldn't fit that last line in. that's my 2 cents.