"Help" ..... is the song's name

[up-fiddler]

Hey gang. My new song "Help" is here . Take a listen and feel free to help out with comments. Always tryin' to get better, ya know. Thanks.

Help (c2006 Dave Morehouse)

I see you've fallen off the face of the earth my friend.
How long before we can see you once again.
I know that closet gets a bit too tight,
Once you get yourself stuffed deep inside.

You know that drinkin' it don't help a bit.
But still. There's no good reason for you to quit.
And so the mornings get a little rough,
It's still probably better than all that other stuff.

chs-
Ooooo Help is comin' on its way.
Ooooo It'll be there just about any day.
Just call and it'll come runnin to you.

Just can't seem to pick up that telephone.
It seems you're gettin' used to livin' all alone.
In time you'll find a way to come back out,
Pretend that nothing's happened at all.

 

[Nalencer]

The Beatles have a song called help. Are you the one who lives in the closet? Because i'd think you'd know that

 

[Newbie dude]

" know that closet gets a bit too tight,
Once you get yourself stuffed deep inside"

I don't like the stuffed deep inside part. Sounds a little forced. How about using the world "light" to ryme. I dunno, something like

" know that closet gets a bit too tight,
But it's worth it to hide from the blinding light"

I dunno, something like that. I can't tell what your song is about, so I can't write a lyrics for you. Also, there's one part when you used the word" stuff". ugghh. Hate that word.

Besides that, everything's pretty good.

 

[up-fiddler]

Thanks for the input Newbie Dude. Everything constructive helps me to get better. I'll take another look at it tonight. "Stuff" is an old man word. It slipped in because I'm an old man. I will find a way to trashcan it on the rewrite. Thanks.

 

[ido1957]

Good Tune Dave - I have no problems with the lyrics. I listened to the clip and found it to be an interesting blend of electric and acoustic instruments, especially cool lead breaks where both are playing. That works very well. I like your voice - it's unique and memorable - I recognized it right away from Crazy which I heard (and enjoyed) sometime back. You sure have a lot of cool web pages!

 

[Folkie]

I like it--I'll have to get some time to listen to it, but the lyrics are good. (Yeah, "stuff" is a little weak, maybe, but it fits.)