Heart Shaped Bruise (the other July Thing)

[rayc]

Hello Folks,
Here's a variation on July Lie Thing.
Kevin White did a fabulous & catchy vocal/lyric take for the backing.
This is a version that uses a set of lyrics I had earmarked for the track.
The melody & singing are by Phrasemaker (thanks Tim) and the intro/solo guitar is by Ido1957 (thanks Gerry).
Mix 2 based on suggestions.



Version THREE

HEART SHAPED BRUISE
Every time you lie
Every time you cheat
It’s no victory
It’s our love’s defeat
Every time you cry
Every time you laugh
Lessens love by half

There’s a heart-shaped bruise
Where my heart should be
And this heart-shaped bruise
Is absorbing me
There’s a heart-shaped bruise
Where my heart should be

Ev’ry errant thought
Ev’ry stolen look
Each and ev’ry entry
In your little book
Ev’ry small abuse
Ev’ry power play
Turns my love away

There’s a heart-shaped bruise
That cannot be redeemed
We can’t remove the scars
From this shattered dream
There’s a heart-shaped bruise
Where my heart should be

Ev’ry time you whisper
Ev’ry time you coo
You pull me down
Just to please you
There’s no salvation
There’s no excuse
Now my heart’s no use

There’s a heart-shaped bruise
Where my heart should be
Now it’s in my hands
And it’s up to me
There’s a heart-shaped bruise
Where my heart should be

There’s no way forward
Our history’s sour
What looked like love
What looked like love
Is an exercise in power

This isn't as instantly catchy as K-Dubs take but, I've discovered, is a grower in the underskin style.
Three guitar tracks (all Guyatone Mosrite copythrough a Kustom 5 watter into a Mashalll 4x12)
1 Bass and, unfortunately, Band In The Box provided the drums.
Vocals are 1 main & 2 backing/harmony vox (panned 25 L & 25 R).
Suggestions please.

 

[robgreen]

It's cool to hear a completely different take on the same arrangement ray. Looking at the similar threads down the bottom-have you really had these lyrics hanging round for five years waiting to use them on this tune?

The big mix issue for me is that the vocals and music sound like they're in different spaces. The instrumentation isn't exactly muffled, but it does have elements of sounding a little further away whereas the vocal is quite dry and right up front. I wonder whether a little more reverb on the vocal might glue it together a little more. The alternative would be to dry out some of the guitars a little.

I think a bit of automation on some of Kev's vocals too, like a boost where he says 'shout it out'.

 

[rayc]

Thanks Rob,
Tim's the vocalist on this version.
Yep, the lyric had been waiting for a vehicle. When the structure of this music was sorted I restructured the lyrics to fit it. I was casting around for a voice when Kevin did his fantastic thing.
There's no reverb on the guitars though there is a smidgen on the master bus.
Level the vocals is step one.
Wet the words a little is item number two for the tweak list.
Thanks mate.

 

[Greg_L]

I like these lyrics and vocal phrasing better than the other one. I don't like the vocal performance much though. It's too low and talky for me. I'd like the vocals more....uh....urgent? emotional? Think if like Joe Strummer sang it. Lol. That's how I'd like it. But it's cool. Definitely something to build with.

 

[Stratomaster]

Cool tune I really like those chugging guitars during the verse-those solos almost sound like sax's-nice. Drums sound kinda far away for my taste and the vocals sound kinda dry- I would have distorted them/thickened them up somehow. Seems like more melody could be extracted out of this with that interesting guitar pattern but sounds like you got your song across well here, good job.

 

[dobro]

I like these lyrics and vocal phrasing better than the other one. I don't like the vocal performance much though. It's too low and talky for me. I'd like the vocals more....uh....urgent? emotional? Think if like Joe Strummer sang it. Lol. That's how I'd like it. But it's cool.

Yeah, this. The singer doesn't sound angry enough. Not bitchy enough. Not bitter enough.

Louder and 'I don't give a fuck who knows it'.

 

[rayc]

Greg & Dobro,
It's my fault. I rarely inspire enough aggro in a singing performance.
Well, the truth is I've only worked on a multi song set/project with one singer who really emotes - that's the very expressive maester singer Joey M.
Terry is a non emotional singer, Miriam was as well, Fitsthegirl didn't have scope to emote in Watch and Phrasemaker is slowly builds to some emotion across this song. If you listen to his other songs he relies, as do I it seems, on the lyrics to provide expression from a fairly steady base.
The lower voicing is a matter of fitting in with the chords to some degree though I've been playing about with the harmony vocals to create some contrast & balance in that area.
Stratomaster,
I'll spread a little wetness around to to bring a better balance between the drums an vox. Thanks.

 

[rayc]

Mix 2 based on suggestions:
Wetter vox to blend in
Vox a little more "in" the mix/levels closer to guitars etc
Dry drums
changed the relationship of harmonies & main vocal in chorus.
VERSION THREE 3

Modified the chorus vocal relationship - it's more of a chord now.
VERSION FOUR
Louder Drums, different vocal take in verse.

 

[DavidK]

Nice raw sound. Yeah, the vocals need to be a lot louder and more "growling". Drums sound distant on this, it might be a live room but they can come up in the mix, snare sounds a but muffled. It reminds me of the 80s quite a bit, which is always a good thing.

 

[rayc]

David,
I've added a little more volume to the vox and it's a new, slightly more aggressive take. The drums are a little louder - it's a stereo file so I can't address indivdual components of the kit.
Thanks for the kind words.