Empty

[DogmaticVox]

Hi everybody,

Here's a track I did with my band Dogmatic called "Empty". I'm looking for critiques on the lyrics - mainly does it make sense and are they any good? And on the song as a whole (not necessarily the recording though otherwise this would be in the MP3 clinic). Thanks!

-Garry

Dogmatic - Empty

Lyrics:

Feel the glow
That comes from your screen
It makes you feel
It makes you believe

Inside your head
You can't tell what's wrong or right
You've been misled
Fear is what rules your life

What do you think you have
That's yours to own
What do you feel inside
You're so hollow

You still can't see
You're taught to hate
You best lock your doors
That's what they say

Inside your head
You've been taught to justify
You've been misled
Fear is what rules your life

What do you think you have
That's yours to own
What do you feel inside
Well you're so hollow

 

[PDP]

I think I get it. Media propaganda type theme ? I think your lyrics can make a cool song, Maybe it needs a chorus line summing up the idea IDK, depends on what you do with it from here.

 

[DogmaticVox]

I think I get it. Media propaganda type theme ? I think your lyrics can make a cool song, Maybe it needs a chorus line summing up the idea IDK, depends on what you do with it from here.

Thanks PDP. If you click on the link above you can hear the finished song.

 

[PDP]

Great job, good mix, good sounds and vocals, enjoyed it.

 

[n3wt]

I think this is a good example of the difference between poetry and music. The lyrics on their own didn't read very well to me, but in the context of the song they sound pretty good.

I still think it could use some kind of hook, the lyrics don't seem to latch onto anything.