Well, I am a software enginner/quality assurance engineer/manager/system administrator/network technician/telephony technician/technical writer/teacher/webmaster/generic computer bitch all rolled into one. My technical title is Computer Systems Analyst but it's not so technical because senior management just made it up. Actually, they orginally called me Computer Services Expert but that made me laugh and laugh and laugh so they changed it.
Basically what I do all day is this:
1) Screw around on hr.com right up to the point where I have to quit or I won't get all my other shit done.
2) Help some jackass print something.
3) Help some other jackass print something.
4) Explain to someone why I can't retrieve the document that they forgot to save.
5) Restart some shitty microsoft service.
6) Perform managerial activities (I am technically a manager. How many people do I manage in my department? There ARE no people in my department, haha!) like writing SOP's, validation plans, etc.
7) Restart some other shitty microsoft service.
8) Help some jackass print.
9) Do math for somebody.
10) Think about the software projects I'd like to work on if I had some large blocks of time. Think of good excuses as to why I haven't had time to work on the software projects I'm supposed to work on.
11) Think about cleaning my office because it's sort of starting to stink.
12) Feel guilty because i can't seem to get anything done.
13) Run a line because some jackass decides to move his computer waaaaay over there where it's really inconvenient to run a line.
14) Write long winded purhasing proposals. Asking for funding is an art form.
15) Help some jackass print something.
16) Hang up on some asshole telemarketer trying to sell printer cartridges.
17) Feel like an idiot because I can't explain to somebody in simple detail why exactly MS Word just crashed. Can't I simply look at the code or something? Horf!
18) Tell somebody that no I can't tell them which computer they should buy for home because no matter what computer they buy, it won't work right unless they pay me to stand next to it.
19) Worry that I'm ruining my career which should strictly in software engineering. I've been here for almost 7 years. I can't get out...help me....help me....help me....
20) Listen to some new idea my boss has for a software project, as if he has no idea of the other 5 software projects I'm working on concurrently all of which are months or years into production and hardly being worked on because some jackass can't print.
Slackmaster 2000