dirty world - instrumental

[gullyjewelz]

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=435906&content=songinfo&songID=5978679


feel free to comment and advise . . . (any feedback is appreciated

i plan on writing a song about "hanging on" . . .



hangin on to the tired, loose ends of a tethered rope
standin on the edge of a cliff, like whatever yo . .
feelin like life's filled wit curses and a hex though
somethin inside wont let me take that next step though
its been deal or no deal, since i got in the game
dieyin for a chance to take that million dollar shot in the game
no roc in my veins? but im crackin at the seams
tv rottin my brains while im laffin at the screen
im a survivor of every thang big brother threw at me
and that's why they don't really know what to do wit me
fluently speakin broke english can git ya cream on
who but me could git this far - wit no heroes to lean on?
team strong - on my own 2 when i stand
if the price is right, turn a dime n nickel to a grand
when i roll the wheel of fortune to a jackpot destiny
but i got a family feud that keep runnin me to jeapordy

 

[rayc]

Jean Micheal jarre with a BIG beat.
Cool retro synth sounds.
Very bare bones which suits the synth.
I think the snare needs treatment though - sounds like my TR505.

 

[gullyjewelz]

thanks for the feedbavk (i think)

Jean Micheal jarre with a BIG beat.

- im lost wit that

Cool retro synth sounds.

thanks, i guess . . .

Very bare bones which suits the synth.

i hope thats a good thing. if its a bad one, what might i do to improve it? adjust the effects someway or just add more layers of instruments?

I think the snare needs treatment though - sounds like my TR505.

ok, now that i can almost sink my teeth into - what type of treatment though? effects? or different sounding snares altoghther?

 

[rayc]

JM Jarre - did the soundtrack for Gallipoli & had a few hits early synth & mimimalist - Gallip. hold up really well.
bare bones - yeah - no need to clutter things up given you have things nicely covered.
Snare treatment - I don't really know - play around.
Good work thus far.

 

[gullyjewelz]

THAnks!!! im definitely gonna work on the snares . . .. and try some things with the chorus section as well . . .

 

[elcholo]

definite retro vibe...reminds me of the Breakdance music i used in the early 80s...

re: snare - it sounds just a tad thin to me...may be what RayC was referring to...phatten it up a tad maybe?

good groove, good vibe...I like the amount of verb you have on the synth parts, gives it a dreamy sort of feel - contrasts well with the gritty feel of the bass/drum hook.

nice!

Cholo

 

[gullyjewelz]

definite retro vibe...reminds me of the Breakdance music i used in the early 80s...

re: snare - it sounds just a tad thin to me...may be what RayC was referring to...phatten it up a tad maybe?

good groove, good vibe...I like the amount of verb you have on the synth parts, gives it a dreamy sort of feel - contrasts well with the gritty feel of the bass/drum hook.

nice!

Cholo

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE. . . . NOW IM GITTIN A LIL SCARED, IF THERE IS TOO MUCH OF AN 80'S FEEL, THEN I HAVE MISSED MY MARK ALTOGETHER . . . CUZ I DO WANT IT TO . . . APPELAL TO AN "07" AUDIENCE . . . IF ITS TOO 80'S WHAT COULD I DO TO ADJUST THE "GROOVE" OR THE "VIBE" OF TEH SYNTH/SONG?

 

[elcholo]

off the top of my head, I'd say change the drums...maybe a more analog sounding kit. The snare has an early 808 kit feel to it, which reminds me of the early stuff in the 80s. Past that, i'm not sure Gully...I don't listen to HipHop nowadays, so i'm not sure what would be a good reference point.

Now, the reference to the 80s feel was just my opinion...I picked up on it because it felt familiar - so I liked it. I don't see it as being cheesy in anyway having that vibe, but I know a lot of people could see it that way. I like it because its a little different...

Start with the drums, change em' up...see what happens...post what you come up with and we'll give it another listen.

cholo

 

[elcholo]

hmm...I just listened again. I might change my mind all together about the drums.

I think the synth parts are really what take me back to the 80's feel. How about a distorted guitar riff in the same place instead of the synths?

I still like it the way it is - would like to hear you flow over the top of it with the rhyme you listed at the top of the thread...


cholo