First off recreating any sound from the Deftones is not an easy task as it is all about the equpment that's used. From the artist, to the instrument , signal chain every thing plays a bigs part. But that a side You can come prety damn close with things like Reason using the RDK2.0 sample library, or eEZdrummer. As far as recording a live drummer mic'ed to do this in a living room or garage good luck. A big part in a drum recording the room they are recorded in, and can change the sound all together. All though with enough drive, creativity and know how you can do just about any thing in the digital age of recording.
To start my advice is to go all the way back to Adrenaline, and work forward. If you listen to the drums on White pony, and then listen to some of the tracks on Adrenaline you can hear the similarities. That in turn will show you the differences in the sound, and give an idea as to wich direction to go.