Except for people who like complex music. Yeah, people tend to like simplicity, but that doesn't make it a good song.
What about instrumental music? Songs like Louie Louie? Or even songs like I am The Walrus or Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by the beatles, surely those aren't very easy to relate to lol Sometimes the lyrical sound and a great instrumental hook can be just as good as having meaningful lyrics.
upbeat is in no way an indication of the worth of a song, or it's worth to the listeners. What about In The Air Tonight? That was a pretty famous and well loved song (I know some people hate Phil Collins, but fuck them, it's a really good song..period) Do, remember that the Eagles were a one hit wonder for the majority of people.
Sometimes familiarity if used right can be a powerful tool as well..if it's too out there, unless it's really done cleverly, it can confuse most listeners.
Keep in mind I do really agree with some of your points, generally such as originality lyrics that mean something to people etc... but I think it's a little more complex than just that, and this kind of leaves out certain genres...what's good songwriting in one genre could be really bad in another. So yeah, you're correct, but that isn't really all there is to it, and sometimes the exact opposite is true. What I find is that in reality, the people who write good songs that mean a lot to people, are usually just able to do it without thinking about it too much.. kind of just following their intuition, going with what feels right....not sitting with a checklist and a labcoat analyzing it for it's "hit song" points.