Critiques please...an original song

[moohead]

"Christina's Corner". We've been working on this for a number of months. My first mix in Sonar 6.

We'd love to hear your comments on the song itself, the mix, the instrumentation, etc.

Gtrslinger did the guitar work. I did the drums on EZ Drummer (first time I used it).

An AKG c3000B mic for vocals using a Presonus Eureka pre-amp and processor.

We keep trying to improve what we're doing. I do not read music. I write songs and lyrics and am learning the production side. My collaborator is the music theory guy who helps arrange things and plays guitar. I have been doing this for only 2 years, so all comments are appreciated. Thanks.

An appreciative Mr Moohead

 

[chazba]

Good song well played and recorded. Now comes the nit.
There is a mismatch between the melancholy vibe in the lyric and the country line-dance groove, however well executed. As a production , I feel that it would work better at a slower tompo, and moved up to a higher key to put it in the power range for the singer. Just MHO

chazba

 

[moohead]

It's funny. We tried this one many ways. I'm impressed that you actually listened to the lyrics. On other forums, people just assume it's a peppy little ditty.

Can a sad song be fast? I suppose. We're not sure why we mated such a woeful scenario beneath a country pop track. Perversion? Perhaps.

Thanks for your input. We're still scratching our heads, too!

Moo

 

[Freudian Slip]

Good song well played and recorded. Now comes the nit.
There is a mismatch between the melancholy vibe in the lyric and the country line-dance groove, however well executed. As a production , I feel that it would work better at a slower tompo, and moved up to a higher key to put it in the power range for the singer. Just MHO

chazba

I agree with most of that. You may be able to drop keys to have the singing move up the scale too.

All the panned vocals at the end seem a little to extreme and at times out of control or stepping on each other. You may want to thin out the back ups a bit by chopping some low end off. You could then try highlighting one track a hair at 4k and another at 5k. to take it further you could pull a little 5k from the track you added 4k to and visa versa. That might create some sonic room for the overlapping lines. Don't get extreme with the eq at 4 and 5k just 1 or 2 db at the most. I'd bring the panned parts more tward center too.
You'd have to mess around and see what works. Just a couple of ideas.


F.S.