Comments?

[Folkie]

My Grandmother’s Place

I recall clearly my Grandmother’s place
We would visit each year in July
Illinois cornfields and sun on my face
Watching the clouds cross the open blue sky

Well I’m looking for baseball and cool lemonade
Runnin’ barefoot down dusty dirt roads
Tryin’ to find me those warm summer days
That I left such a long time ago

Me and my cousin and his mutt of a dog
Would escape to the pond down the lane
Three fearless hunters of turtles and frogs
In search of adventure, pretenders to fame

Well I’m looking for baseball and cool lemonade
Runnin’ barefoot down dusty dirt roads
Tryin’ to find me those warm summer days
That I left such a long time ago

Bridge:

Darkness brought zillions of fireflies
Winkin’ in Grandma’s back yard
We’d chase ‘em and catch ‘em and watch how they’d shine
And wonder next day how they’d opened their jar

Any time livin’ is beatin’ me down
And I find I can’t keep up the pace
I take my mind back to that Illinois town
And walk down the years to my Grandmother’s place

I play me some baseball and drink lemonade
Run barefoot down dusty dirt roads
Everything’s easy at Grandmother’s place
It gets easier each time I go.
Yeah, everything’s easy at Grandmother’s place
It gets easier each time I go.

 

[Hugo H]

Well done.
Have you worked on the music?

 

[Folkie]

Yes, I just can't record it and put it on the web. And thanks!

 

[logicaldove]

I like it. You create a nice visual image with your lyrics.

That's a good line about how you and your cousin wondered how the fireflies opened the jar. I like how you didn't give it away that Grandma let em' go. I don't know - something about that just makes me smile.

 

[Folkie]

I like it. You create a nice visual image with your lyrics.

That's a good line about how you and your cousin wondered how the fireflies opened the jar. I like how you didn't give it away that Grandma let em' go. I don't know - something about that just makes me smile.

Thanks. I was actually worried a bit about that particular line--it was hard to fit in the concept without it feeling contrived. I'm glad it sounds okay to someone else.

 

[andyhix]

I like it. You create a nice visual image with your lyrics.

That's a good line about how you and your cousin wondered how the fireflies opened the jar. I like how you didn't give it away that Grandma let em' go. I don't know - something about that just makes me smile.

I like that line too. I'm not so sure about this line though:

"Any time livin’ is beatin’ me down
And I find I can’t keep up the pace"

I get that you are saying it's a sorta mental escape place for you, but something about it rubs me wrong, but I can't quite put my finger on it. It's the only hint of negativity in the song, which isn't a bad thing because it creates a little tension (which is usually good), but I think maybe it's a little too strongly negative, almost suicidal sounding (that might be a bit of an overstatement, but anyway...). Kind of a downer in an otherwise beautiful positive image. I would just tone it down, or get rid of it altogether. I think the other lyrics express why this fond memory is still important to you. You don't need to spell it out so explicitly.

Just my .02.

 

[Bluester]

I like it..Good imagery. That line...."In search of adventure pretenders to fame" is a great one....

P.S. I think that the last part about it getting easier can be taken 2 ways...1) You are a little suicidal...2) You are getting up there in years and seeing how life can graciously end.....If you're and old guy like me...I prefer #2...

 

[Folkie]

Actually I was just thinking about the various stresses of work and stuff--it's a nice place to escape--the carefree days of a kid at play.

I can see how it's a bit strong as it is, though that wasn't the intent. How 'bout:

Sometimes when things are just gettin' me down
Or I find I can't keep up the pace
I take my mind back to that Illinois town
And walk down the years to my Grandmother’s place


That tones it down, I think, though it feels a bit cliched.

 

[Bluester]

Just an idea for the last 2 lines...Or something similar maybe? OR maybe not....Good lyrics none-the-less. Maybe I'm just nit-pickin'

Yeah livin' was easy at Grandmother's place
I still feel it from long, long ago

 

[Folkie]

Just an idea for the last 2 lines...Or something similar maybe? OR maybe not....Good lyrics none-the-less. Maybe I'm just nit-pickin'

Yeah livin' was easy at Grandmother's place
I still feel it from long, long ago

Thanks, but I'll leave the last two as they are. My thought was that, as we get farther from the actual events, we remember the good parts more and forget the little problems--the bad parts, if you will--that were present. (For example, my Grandma used to make macaroni and tomatoes--horrible stuff to eat, but we had to. I conveniently forget that when I "visit".)

So the last lines "It gets easier each time I go" is designed to convey that idea. "The Good Ol' Days" are a great place to visit, but you don't want to really live there.

But I do appreciate the suggestion.

 

[up-fiddler]

My Grandmother’s Place

Me and my cousin and his mutt of a dog
Would escape to the pond down the lane
Three fearless hunters of turtles and frogs
In search of adventure, pretenders to fame

Bridge:
Darkness brought zillions of fireflies
Winkin’ in Grandma’s back yard
We’d chase ‘em and catch ‘em and watch how they’d shine
And wonder next day how they’d opened their jar

Any time livin’ is beatin’ me down
And I find I can’t keep up the pace
I take my mind back to that Illinois town
And walk down the years to my Grandmother’s place

It's all good but this is spectacular as far as I'm concerned. It will be interesting to hear the melody, Dave.