Clichéd Vexation (Original)

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propman

propman

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Dear ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
I have another original offering for you that I would love to have picked apart. I'm mixing through semi-tired ears after a couple of weeks of recording this tune. Here's the song with lyrics to follow:

Mix 1:[MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/Dry%20Spell%20(Mix).mp3[/MP3]
For mobile users
Mix 2:[MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/Dry%20Spell%20(Mix)%202.mp3[/MP3] (Simplified drums and some minor tweaks/additions)
For mobile users
Lyrics:
It's a story as old as the stock
That brought a new tradition to the block
Makin' in possible for Helena Bonham Carter
To caper, frisk or flash a garter
And cause a sea of glass bulbs to cough

It's a story as old as the plates
That shot the Himalayas through the gates
Makin' it possible for Carrie Nation's limo
To bust alongside Toco Bueno
Where she caught me shakin' my dry spell off

Behind the dumpster where I contemplate images
Contemplate time

Should I chase an idea
And not acknowledge what I've got
Which ain't a little thing

It's a story as old as the pin
That Laius jammed into his next of kin
Makin' it possible for Oedipus and Jocasta
To copulate and play canasta
She strangled and his eyeballs fell off

Should I chase an idea
And not acknowledge what I've got
Which ain't a little thing​

Thanks guys and gals! I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say.
 
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I like the song. There are interesting twists and turns throughout, and it is instrumentally diverse. I like the structure and it seems to me to have considerable essence of 10cc in it.

However, the percussion was a big distraction. With programmed drums you do the best you can with what you got, but in this case they were way too busy and disconnected from the song.

What I would like to hear is a very simple drum pattern behind this with a much straighter feel . . . take away all the fancy stuff. I think that would help to give the song a lot more fluidity.

But overall, it's a great effort.
 
gecko zzed said:
I like the song. There are interesting twists and turns throughout, and it is instrumentally diverse. I like the structure and it seems to me to have considerable essence of 10cc in it.

However, the percussion was a big distraction. With programmed drums you do the best you can with what you got, but in this case they were way too busy and disconnected from the song.

What I would like to hear is a very simple drum pattern behind this with a much straighter feel . . . take away all the fancy stuff. I think that would help to give the song a lot more fluidity.

But overall, it's a great effort.
Click to expand...

Thank'ya very much! Question: are all the fills to busy? I'm quite attached to some of them but sometimes attachment just comes from work and not quality. They're all custom drum sounds that I recorded and sliced.
 
propman said:
Question: are all the fills to busy?
Click to expand...

Yes, definitely. I appreciate the effort that went into them. This is a case, though, where 'less is more'. The song has huge amounts of intrinsic interest and doesn't need a flamboyant drummer to keep the listener engaged.

Maybe you could flick through some youtubes of Beegees, XTC, 10cc and listen critically to their drum tracks.
 
gecko zzed said:
Yes, definitely. I appreciate the effort that went into them. This is a case, though, where 'less is more'. The song has huge amounts of intrinsic interest and doesn't need a flamboyant drummer to keep the listener engaged.

Maybe you could flick through some youtubes of Beegees, XTC, 10cc and listen critically to their drum tracks.
Click to expand...

OK. I'll simplify it. Thanks for the input! Can you check back in a couple'a days?
 
The vocal, to me, sounds really good. Nice tone and clarity on it. Your voice sounds good too. The clean guitar sounds really good too.

I really didn't care for the techno drums. Heck I don't even like techno drums on techno music. :) I really didn't think this sounds like a techno song. I'd also lose a lot of the synth stuff. This sounds like a guitar-only song to my ear.
 
Update: New mix added to the initial post with simplified drums and a few other minor tweaks.

TripleM said:
The vocal, to me, sounds really good. Nice tone and clarity on it. Your voice sounds good too. The clean guitar sounds really good too.

I really didn't care for the techno drums. Heck I don't even like techno drums on techno music. :) I really didn't think this sounds like a techno song. I'd also lose a lot of the synth stuff. This sounds like a guitar-only song to my ear.
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Thanks a lot for the compliments, TM! I've tweaked it a bit (as I mentioned above) but I'm going to have to stand behind my synth arrangement. The only way I could pull this off with just guitar is if I were/had access to Johnny Marr and, unfortunately, I'm not/I don't. Besides... I love my synths. They've been good to me. :)

P.S. Johnny, if you're out there, I propose we start a band called The Synths.
 
I couldn't get mix 2 to work, but mix one, my only feedback would be the drums blend into the song a bit more as the song doesn't require then to be so prominent. If they were brought down, then the embellishment wouldn't seem intrusive.

Good tune/performance.
 
Mix 2 - cool.
There are times when I think you're going to launch in to full on Flamin' Lips but you turn in another direction.
The 1st contemplate gets lost in the instrumentation.
The reverb or delay on the last 3rd of the song seems to ess a lot - particularly on SHOULD
Great lyrics - tying a whole pile of pop culture, mythology & geographical reference to make a narrative.
Personally "ain't a little thing" jibbes with the rst of the lyrical tone - Iwanted to hear " Is no little thing" or something but that's just my age I fear.
Terrific work - i look forward to any tweaking.
 
I only listened to Mix2 and I really like the most of what I heard. I really didn't care for the kick sound at all and it's too loud in my opinion.

I'm with Gecko RE: the drums. A nice simple, steady beat and regular sounding drums would suit this song great. Maybe lower the Kick and add some variation to the velocity of all the other drums and humanize them a touch. I just think what you have here spoil a great song.


I really like the song though. Added it to my HR Collection Folder until a better mix comes along. :thumbs up:
 
I listened to both mixes. I kind of like some of the weird noises from the first one, but the business of the fills is definitely an issue.

The vox are a bit buried at times.

Cool song though. I liked it.
 
Hey Adam - didn't see this until now. Cool tune with interesting lyrics and a great vocal performance as usual.

I listened to the 1st mix and really liked it except that I felt the snare sound was much too loud and while I personally liked the fills, I felt the two massive ones towards the end (when you're singing, "It's a story as old as the pin..." kind of stumbled a bit and were excessive. The rest of 'em worked for me.

I hear now in the 2nd mix that you brought that snare sound down and/or changed it. I guess that works better, and I didn't find myself missing any drum complexity myself, but I feel like you could've gotten away with keeping most of those fills if wanted by simply turning them down. I like the techno kick for this. I'd keep that as is and maybe still bring the snare stuff down a bit more myself, but what you have in mix 2 is perfectly fine, just my personal taste on that.

On another note, I just listened to interplanetary again the other day for the first time in a while and that is such a fun tune and a really great mix. I like it more each time I listen. You did a really good job on that one!
 
heatmiser said:
Hey Adam - didn't see this until now. Cool tune with interesting lyrics and a great vocal performance as usual.

I listened to the 1st mix and really liked it except that I felt the snare sound was much too loud and while I personally liked the fills, I felt the two massive ones towards the end (when you're singing, "It's a story as old as the pin..." kind of stumbled a bit and were excessive. The rest of 'em worked for me.

I hear now in the 2nd mix that you brought that snare sound down and/or changed it. I guess that works better, and I didn't find myself missing any drum complexity myself, but I feel like you could've gotten away with keeping most of those fills if wanted by simply turning them down. I like the techno kick for this. I'd keep that as is and maybe still bring the snare stuff down a bit more myself, but what you have in mix 2 is perfectly fine, just my personal taste on that.

On another note, I just listened to interplanetary again the other day for the first time in a while and that is such a fun tune and a really great mix. I like it more each time I listen. You did a really good job on that one!
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Thanks Pete (on both counts [I'm glad your bad rap-fueled embarrassment has gone on vacation and loosened up])!
I agree about the stumbling percussion toward the end. I got too happy. I've taken everybody's comments into account and what I think I'm going to do is a mixture of real and programmed drums. A friend of mine has a nice studio set up and has graciously agreed to let me track some live drums there. I'm excited, as it will be my first time doing a proper recording of my drumming!

I'll let you (and the rest of the board) know how it turns out! Thanks again, man. I really appreciate you checking in!
 
IDK, I like mix one, cant say I'm a fan of the drum samples but I thought the drum parts worked for the song. I liked the drum fills. The song's changes are its strengths to me. I would try a low tuned (natural) snare sound, and a regular studio kick, maybe add some crashes. Definitely a cool song. Nice job.
 
PDP said:
IDK, I like mix one, cant say I'm a fan of the drum samples but I thought the drum parts worked for the song. I liked the drum fills. The song's changes are its strengths to me. I would try a low tuned (natural) snare sound, and a regular studio kick, maybe add some crashes. Definitely a cool song. Nice job.
Click to expand...

Thank you! I'll keep your comments in mind. I'm still trying to figure everything out.
 
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