Check out this non-white boy's raps

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jibran

DC's Finest
The title to this thread is a parody of the white-boy thread some time ago.

On a more serious note, could I have feedback on my flow?

This is dedicated to the person that hates religious rappers.

There is another emcee (All Star/Poetic Justice) featured, as you can see; I wrote the hook and my verse.

Here we go:

[Hook]

We - are -
Honorin in action, the Most High,
Representin our roots when we ryde,
Watchin yo' reaction, we ready to die,
Pull any sh*t and we ain't go' let it slide,

We - are -
Warriors of peace,
Spreadin truth in rhymes on streets,
Crossin barriers, grassroots,
Infinitely more effective than,
Harriers and military boots,
Unity - the master plan


[The Deen]

Bismillahi-r-Rahmani-r-Rahim

[Poetic Justice]

I start in the name of God, the Most Gracious the Most Merciful
I need that mercy
I need that love
Cuz it seems like if there aint no man above
The whole weight on my shoulders, I cant believe whats life comin too
Now that ive justified myself, open up those gates so please let me through
Now that ive justified myself, be real to yourself, aint nobody gonna do that but you
May peace be upon you too, cuz this situation is getting hectic
Countless days of sorrow, I don’t think my mamma is protected
Countless days of sorrow, walk in my shoes now you know why im restless
Let ‘em say it how they wanna say it
My words are comin to you like justice, its up to you the way you take it
Make it, or brake it, homeboy lemme tell you this
Hold me down, I hold you down
Lookin at the others they just takin the f**kin piss
Even I think if had One Wish
Just like Ray said it
I’ll see you when ever I see you
Hold it down, cuz I think God just let me through.


[Hook]

[The Deen]

They said my voice didn't meet the standard,
So I took the standard and made it grander,
I don't mean great-like some say Alexander,
I won't heed hate-written like slander,
The only thing feared is the Lord above,
Faith like a beard-obvious from far or near,
'Cause that's my name,
The D.E.E.N. ain't in the game for fame,
If they call me a 'Mos-lem', I'ma be like Ali,
Sayin "What's my name?" over a body,
Unanimous champion but I'm just a featherweight,
No more aggression-I know there's a better way,
Call it premonition,
I wait for the sunrise, signifying a new day.
The light fills my eyes with air in my lungs,
The bright in the skies of blessings from above,
I'm ridin with my brotha-til my death through any weather,
This ain't 50, this ain't Jigga, or even Nasty Nas,
This is the Way-I call it Islam,
We stick together not becomin like Uncle Toms,
Hate is everywhere-it seeps into my skin,
Fate-a carrier controllin my destiny,
I rhyme with my heart-
the rest of my body's right next to me,
I'm an asthmatic-chokin as I rhyme,
But I keep goin-spoken word rap,
The cycle continues, time after time,
I got yo' back if you got mine,
Politically conscious-like Katrina Klap,
Nocturnally strong sh*t-like a dose of refined crack,
I rap for myself, my people, the Most High,
These tracks, I help the world til I die,
In my pathetic efforts,
Still-I don't give up,
F'real I won't give up,
It means too much,
There ain't no retirement for me-as such

[Hook]

-The Deen
 
i mean to give feedback on a rap, I would personally like to here a song. you know what i mean?
 
I would like to hear it!
Interesting to me though~
 
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