yea, no such thing. a distressor is a great, versatile digital compressor that emulates several classic pro audio compressors fairly decently while still being it's own sound. on top of that you can dial in very musical distortion however you like which makes it quite the multi-use tool.
However since it's really a sort of copy of other gear, it's kind of ironic to try to copy the copy more cheaply. I guess behringer sort of tries to do that... but it doesn't work too well ("Hey Mr. Engineer, Dial in more of that tube sound... oh wait, it sounds like ASS now, turn it down again!!")
so your best bet is to get a great sounding compressor that isn't too expensive. the advantage of a distressor is versatility - it sort of copies several types of compressors. for cheap? buy several different types of compressors one at a time until you have what you like. it's not the same, but it'll do you ok.
I'd start with a good opto comp or opto-sounding comp like the rnla (or even a cheap meek if you're willing to have a pretty obvious compression going on.)
I buy cheap good sounding neutral vca comps (rnc is great, berry composers are actually great believe me or not as long as you follow certain unwritten rules of thumb), and then I'm building other comps on my own. an 1176 (fet), some opto comps, and some preamps.
much cheaper than buying new or even used gear otherwise.
cheers,
Don