[Hey, Greg!]
Randy...
The recording is thick. If you stop here, you need transient pluck on the bass....the pulse is hard to detect.....and the guitar chords take too long to find the frets, and the sustain is cut to find the next chord...along with the bass part...so you get holes where there might be more flow.
Then you play diatonic stacks of chords in an un-erring assembly.....where the bass follows the root up the scale. It's a very weak sounding progression...right if you want that, but it's uncomfortably weak...the bass playing the V note somewhere..every other chord, for example...on a straight 8/4 to give a little time-contrast [ricochet..and pulse] would feel much stronger and flowing. A figure [melody] in the bass that repeats would be nice. And maybe thin some of the notage in the chords...a couple moving voices would do, in between fuller chords, to give space, while still more that adequately suggesting the changes. There's nothing left the the earmagination. And you gotta make the changes a little quicker and cleaner...and dispense with about half of the pick-strokes...a little sustain and contrast...if you don't intend to add something to fill the gaps on the "2 & 4 " in the pulse. {the snare hit spots...essential for grabbing pulse] Think chordal fairy dust. {Fingerpicked...or articulated plectrum??] It's a light composition, played with a garage rock attack. Non-sequetor in my brain.
What I can't figure out is how and why the guitars [too wide and full if you're gonna add drums and keys and stuff] seems to be, spacially, BENEATH the bass!!?? Not wrong...just interesting to me.
Then there's a couple ending word phrases that kinda sound too improvised and loose. Joni Mitchell could do it; but your vocal melody is carrying the day, and it sounds like your unsure of the phrasing...hesitant. Maybe try to fit a little tighter verbage to deliver it cleanly and impactfully???
I would also suggest finding a more hookey set of notes in the vocal melody...a leap or two in a couple places that jump a fourth or fifth...to give it texture and counter-point to the diatonic chords moving in seconds....which much of the vox melody, right now , also does. [think some slow pentatonic blues likkage...a watered-down Ella scat..that repeats and and hooks]
The bass is woofy and has no pluck or decay....it eats everything in its path. It sounds like an organ pedal. The tune is light...I'm thing a natural, upright bass sound would be wicked right for it.
I think the tune is fine....but it's all made outta bricks....even the doors and windows....all the same size bricks. The task is to find contrast, counterpoint, and ear-interest......too predictable as it stands, now. As bad as too unpredictable. Try to find the middle place.
That's my best advice...nothing wrong with it...it's what you hear; but there are things you can do to make it more intresting for others to hear.
What's most right, is that you're doing recordings! Every one better than the last one. Can't beat that!
It's probably a bigger shame that I can't play guitar guitar too. 
