Bugs, Bees, Gnats and Flees (a parody just for fun)

[TaoManna Don]

Sang roughly to the tune of Cher's hit "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves

Bugs, Bees, Gnats and Flees

Verse 1:
Camped on a mountaintop in Tennessee
Wished I'd a stayed with my SUV
Hiked 10 mile way back in them wood
With a million angry varmints.......
Every single one of them up to no good

Chorus:
Bugs, Bees, Gnats and Flees
Walking through a spider web, both arms flailing
Bugs, Bees, Gnats and Flees
And every night when you try to settle down
Mosquitoes come around

Verse 2:
Third day out got off of the trail
Slipped on a rock nearly broke my tail
Backpack fell down in a ravine
Bitten by a grizzly bear........
Ugly ole gash turning into gangrene

Chorus:
Bugs, Bees, Gnats and Flees
Walking through a spider web, both arms flailing
Bugs, Bees, Gnats and Flees
And every night when you try to settle down
Mosquitoes come around

Bridge:
I shoulda been lookin’ but he caught me good
With his toothy grizzly smile
Three minutes later, I'm a fella in trouble
But I ain't seen a grizzly bear for a while
Mainly, cause I been running like...well, like a grizzly bear's been chasing after me

Chorus:
Bugs, Bees, Gnats and Flees
Walking through a spider web, both arms flailing
Bugs, Bees, Gnats and Flees
And every night when you try to settle down
Mosquitoes come around

[spoken as the music fades]

well, dang it to heck!

i'm lost, no food, no water, all busted up, can't walk, feelin real bad, can't hardly see no more.

yuh know, this campin trip's startin to seem like a friggin bad idea.

wait a minute! i think i see davy crockett..... HELP!!

GROWL!!!!


(Nope, I guess not)

 

[philboyd studge]

That's cute. A good campfire song.
Everyone can relate to the insects.

Years ago I wrote one called Bugs:

BUGS
We got up this mornin’, such a terrible thing to see
Seems like when I'm down, things start buggin’ me
Well I’ve been through some pretty hard times, but nothin’ like today
Well I wish I knew just what to do, but all I can do is say

ch] We got ants(fleas), in the closet , in the windows, in the kitchen
In the drawlers, in the sink, in the drain, what a pain, on the carpet of my car
We got ants, through the door, on the floor, on the table, in my plate,
in my food ain’t they crude won't they ever leave me alone
We got ants, on the dog, on the frog, in the pond, in the yard, on the grass
In the wall, on the ball of my walkin' shoes
Well we got ants and I'm confused, them ants just give me the blues

Later on this mornin' went to the door to see
My neighbor in his front yard, shoutin’ down the block to me
He said I've been through some pretty hard times, but nothin' quite this bad
I thought I had it rough, but not as tough, as my poor old neighbor had

We had ants, bees, nats, chiggers, hornets, beetles and flies
Snails, weevils, roaches, fleas, every kind of them little guys
On the dog, on the frog, in the pond, in the yard, on the grass
In the wall, in the ball of his walkin’ shoes
We all got bugs, and I'm confused, them bugs just give me the blues


It was always a good song live, especially for kids. Won the comedy catagory in a Woody Guthrie songwriting contest and was the inspiration for an etimologist friend back then to name a new line of Chiggers after me that he found in West Texas. So you never know, you may get a bug named after you someday. Better to have Disney pick up the song however.