Belie (Rely) (An original heavy-ish song)

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propman

propman

Active member
Hey guys. I worked on this a while. This is the first song of this kind I have done, so I don't know what to expect from feedback, and am a bit nervous.
Belie (rely)

Lyrics

When you wake up in the morning
Wipe the dirt off of your hands
(X3)


(chorus)
I belie that I rely on you
I belie that I rely on you
I belie I rely on you
I belie

When you go to work at three
Tell the coustomers to go die
(X3)
When you go to sleep at night
Leave the hall light on so they don't come in
(X3)

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
This is my normal routine that I do everyday
This list, It doesn't include telling you to go away
I'd like to think that I'm nice to everybody that crosses my path
But That's not true
I'm pretty much just nice to you so lets leave it at that

(Chorus)
(You know that I do)
(You know that it's quite true)

-Adam.
 
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Man what a fun song! Really cool punk rock vibe to it. I like the guitar tone a lot. And the vocals in the chorus are really carnival-ish. I like it! Here is what I think so far...

The drums can be turned up a bit, maybe made a little thicker as well?

The vocal adlibs in the the chorus can be turned up a bit.

I think maybe the main vocals compete a bit with the electric guitar, might consider making a little room in the guitar EQ for the vox. Maybe turn the guitars down 1 or 2dB even?

I dig the vocal runs. Very unique. It's like you run into the next note, when you hit the bottom end of your vibrato, and it's un-expected, and a cool vocal technique!

Overall I like this track, it's catchy, fun, and well structured.
 
Heh, pretty sweet Adam. That chorus rocks. Great work, and very different from the other tunes of yours that I've listened to.

I agree with the other poster that maybe the drums could come up a bit, but this is definitely a very cool tune.

Keep it up bro.

Matt
 
nickg said:
Man what a fun song! Really cool punk rock vibe to it. I like the guitar tone a lot. And the vocals in the chorus are really carnival-ish. I like it! Here is what I think so far...

The drums can be turned up a bit, maybe made a little thicker as well?

The vocal adlibs in the the chorus can be turned up a bit.

I think maybe the main vocals compete a bit with the electric guitar, might consider making a little room in the guitar EQ for the vox. Maybe turn the guitars down 1 or 2dB even?

I dig the vocal runs. Very unique. It's like you run into the next note, when you hit the bottom end of your vibrato, and it's un-expected, and a cool vocal technique!

Overall I like this track, it's catchy, fun, and well structured.
Click to expand...
Thanks. First off, I am trying to figure out what adlibs you mean? Second, can you elaborate on the vibreto thing? I don't really understand. Sorry for the questions, but you think I did something cool, and I want to know what it is so I can brag! :D By the way, I noticed I forgot to link to the song (which is fixed now) and I think it's pretty cool that you and Mattdee went and found the song. I didn't really know anybody wanted to hear my stuff enough to do that. Thanks again!

mattdee1 said:
Heh, pretty sweet Adam. That chorus rocks. Great work, and very different from the other tunes of yours that I've listened to.

I agree with the other poster that maybe the drums could come up a bit, but this is definitely a very cool tune.

Keep it up bro.

Matt
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Thanks Mattdee. I will keep that in mind.

-Adam.
 
propman said:
Thanks. First off, I am trying to figure out what adlibs you mean? Second, can you elaborate on the vibreto thing? I don't really understand.
Click to expand...

Sorry, I probably should have called them BGV's. I was in hiphop land all day, we commonly call BGV's adlibs. As far as the vibrato comment.. By definition, vibrato is a pulsating effect in an instrumental or vocal tone produced by slight and rapid variations in pitch. When you sing, and your vibrato kicks in, many people roll into the next note they sing, when their vibrato is at its highest note, and roll into the next. I noticed when you start your verse at 1:30'ish that during your vocal rolls, you use a slight vibrato to roll out of the last note and into the beginning of the next note. It adds a cool swing to the vocal roll. A lot of vocal rolls are very sharp and precise and lack a "swing" feel to them... If the vocalist is not that comfortable with them or does not know how to execute them without hitting "tonal center" on all of the notes in the vocal roll, it tends to sound disastrous. Hope this makes sense...
 
This song is so damned weird it could be a really huge hit. The one thing I might try is more of a reggae "rhythm" sound on the bridge (I don't even listen to reggae, I just have this feeling it would fit perfectly)...... but I love the vocals on the bridge and I wouldn't change them one bit. Really great tune. Not my style of music at all but it's one of those songs that you can't get enough of.
 
nickg said:
Sorry, I probably should have called them BGV's. I was in hiphop land all day, we commonly call BGV's adlibs. As far as the vibrato comment.. By definition, vibrato is a pulsating effect in an instrumental or vocal tone produced by slight and rapid variations in pitch. When you sing, and your vibrato kicks in, many people roll into the next note they sing, when their vibrato is at its highest note, and roll into the next. I noticed when you start your verse at 1:30'ish that during your vocal rolls, you use a slight vibrato to roll out of the last note and into the beginning of the next note. It adds a cool swing to the vocal roll. A lot of vocal rolls are very sharp and precise and lack a "swing" feel to them... If the vocalist is not that comfortable with them or does not know how to execute them without hitting "tonal center" on all of the notes in the vocal roll, it tends to sound disastrous. Hope this makes sense...
Click to expand...
Thanks for clearing that up, and though I know what vibreto is, I just wanted clarification on what I did with it that you liked. Thanks again.

rtlane28 said:
This song is so damned weird it could be a really huge hit. The one thing I might try is more of a reggae "rhythm" sound on the bridge (I don't even listen to reggae, I just have this feeling it would fit perfectly)...... but I love the vocals on the bridge and I wouldn't change them one bit. Really great tune. Not my style of music at all but it's one of those songs that you can't get enough of.
Click to expand...
Thanks. Reggae huh? Hmm. It's a thought, but I really don't like to mess with stuff I've done in that way. Anyway, thanks. That is a high complement indeed sir.

-Adam.
 
OK. A new mix has been done using some of the suggestions given here. Tell me what you think.

-Adam.
 
Hey. I updated the mix again, because after listening to the 2nd mix, it just didn't sound right to my ears. I am pretty happy with the mix this time around. What are your thoughts? It's still the same link at the top of the page.

-Adam.
 
Good one Adam - abhrasive punkoid TMGish fun.
Excelle guitar sound for the song.
I like the vocals levels where they are.
I'm as confused as you with the hip hop terms for stuff. It's like when the education system down here brought in Functional Grammar & called an adjective a modifier & similarly silly stuff.
I suppose some Bvox could be adlibs but not all adlibs could be bvox etc tce tce.
Now, back to the track: my only concern is the redundant of in the line..."Wipe the dirt off of your hands".
It fits the meter & works well enough - I'm just an old pedant (but then again that's what I'm paid to be) & you've balanced the redundancy by resurrecting belie.
Perhaps we should get you to revive a word a week!
Nice one - I enjoyed it quite a bit.
I look forward to more.
 
rayc said:
Good one Adam - abhrasive punkoid TMGish fun.
Excelle guitar sound for the song.
I like the vocals levels where they are.
I'm as confused as you with the hip hop terms for stuff. It's like when the education system down here brought in Functional Grammar & called an adjective a modifier & similarly silly stuff.
I suppose some Bvox could be adlibs but not all adlibs could be bvox etc tce tce.
Now, back to the track: my only concern is the redundant of in the line..."Wipe the dirt off of your hands".
It fits the meter & works well enough - I'm just an old pedant (but then again that's what I'm paid to be) & you've balanced the redundancy by resurrecting belie.
Perhaps we should get you to revive a word a week!
Nice one - I enjoyed it quite a bit.
I look forward to more.
Click to expand...
Thank Rayc. Weird, I got everything you said this time. Usually your posts are like trying to read Shakespeare. :D Joking aside, I always like your critiques. I find yours to be among the most insightful. I do apologize for being redundant. The of just had to be there. I'm glad I redeemed myself though. TMBG actually used belie in a song. That's where I got it from. It is in "I am all you can think about". It comes up only once in the song with the line "Your apparent nonchalance belies the fact that you can only think of me". Anyway, I thought it was too interesting of a word to be used in a single line, so I wrote a song around it. Also on that note, I really enjoy using obscure words. I don't really do it often, but when I do it's always pretty darn fun. Maybe your word a week thing would be a cool idea. I might try it. Anyway, I'm ramling and should stop so I don't become late for church. Thank again Rayc. :D

-Adam.
 
So damn original, Adam!
Great performance, recording, everything.
When the the hell is someone big and important gonna discover you???:mad::D

Joey :):):):)
 
Good mix. Sounds fine to me. I'm not really feeling the song though. Kudos for trying to inject some rock into your repertoire, but the song just misses the mark with me. I think your mellower stuff suits you better.
 
Really cool. I enjoyed it a lot.

I'd watch out for the drums though. If the cymbals got much louder, they'd probably overwhelm everything.
 
joeym said:
So damn original, Adam!
Great performance, recording, everything.
When the the hell is someone big and important gonna discover you???:mad::D

Joey :):):):)
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Thanks Joeym! I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the very nice comment. :D

Greg_L said:
Good mix. Sounds fine to me. I'm not really feeling the song though. Kudos for trying to inject some rock into your repertoire, but the song just misses the mark with me. I think your mellower stuff suits you better.
Click to expand...
You know, I was waiting for you to comment. Ah well. Each to his own. Other people liked it, and I like it. That's good enough for me. I'm glad you like the mix anyway. Thanks for listening. :D

VomitHatSteve said:
Really cool. I enjoyed it a lot.

I'd watch out for the drums though. If the cymbals got much louder, they'd probably overwhelm everything.
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Thanks Vomit. Well, people kept telling me to turn up the drums, so I did. At least they aren't overwhelming them yet huh?

-Adam.
 
Wow...that is, uh, different :D!

It still has your signature vocal phrasing, but certainly a heavier feel to the whole thing. Seems a bit odd coming from you, but I think it works and people are digging it:).

You do some crazy stuff with your vocals on the bridge...the ending of each phrase has cool twists to it and I like the way your voice breaks up at times on this.

I don't really have any frame of reference for this srt of thing, and I've listened to a lot of stuff, so I'd say this is pretty original...which is a good thing ;).
 
heatmiser said:
Wow...that is, uh, different :D!

It still has your signature vocal phrasing, but certainly a heavier feel to the whole thing. Seems a bit odd coming from you, but I think it works and people are digging it:).

You do some crazy stuff with your vocals on the bridge...the ending of each phrase has cool twists to it and I like the way your voice breaks up at times on this.

I don't really have any frame of reference for this srt of thing, and I've listened to a lot of stuff, so I'd say this is pretty original...which is a good thing ;).
Click to expand...
Thank Heat. Thanks a lot. I'm really glad you dig it. :D

-Adam.
 
propman said:
You know, I was waiting for you to comment. Ah well. Each to his own. Other people liked it, and I like it. That's good enough for me. I'm glad you like the mix anyway. Thanks for listening. :D
.
Click to expand...

Yeah man, it's not bad at all. I think it just caught me off guard. You did a good job overall.
 
This is actually probably my favorite song that you've done, actually. It was enough to motivate me to renew my Soundclick account (for some reason, it disappeared before).
 
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