A
antij
New member
This is a song I wrote a long time ago, but just recorded. It doesn't really have a title yet. I'd appreciate any comments/suggestions since I'm pretty new at this.
Thanks
Thanks
Khompewtur
*Retired*
Very nice song, to me it sounds like a cut from "The Wall part 2"
I think the vox have a little bit too much reverb and distance to them. Good use of fx.
Your melodic choices are excellent, very smooth flowing and melancholy. Might want to clip that last second of studio noise.
Keep up the good work mate.
I think the vox have a little bit too much reverb and distance to them. Good use of fx.
Your melodic choices are excellent, very smooth flowing and melancholy. Might want to clip that last second of studio noise.
Keep up the good work mate.
A
antij
New member
Yea, I was wondering if there was too much reverb. Thanks for your input.
groovejunkie
New member
I zapped in´just to say: "gimme my avatar back!!"
.
.
...just kidding
I used to hear a lot of PinkFloyd - I agree with Khompewtur
- too much reverb/delay on the voc, and the drums are too dry sometimes.. like the melody though I was expecting something like a bridge (just a little change..)
.
.
...just kidding
I used to hear a lot of PinkFloyd - I agree with Khompewtur
- too much reverb/delay on the voc, and the drums are too dry sometimes.. like the melody though I was expecting something like a bridge (just a little change..)
studioviols
New member
The beginning is 'spiritual', tasty.
oooo, nice guitar sound,
You need a single vocal in the beginning, way too much reverb on your vox.
Your voice is good enough where you can present it without doubling it.
I can understand the words the first time through. I get a tiny feeling that at some point there will be a point at which there will be a challenge to understand the vocal.
At 1:02, things are getting a bit to loud around the vocal.
Some strings moving very, very slowly in the background would be nice.
I think you are attempting to 'make something' of the vox as an 'instrument' that it really is not with the extreme amount of reverb you have added.
Don't cheat us out of a good vocal performance please, all of us, including you, deserve better.
At 2:40, I like the 'taking us back to the beginning' kind of feeling.
Oh yes, by 2:58, this has been very effective, nice ... into the piano. I think you've been 'sluiced'.
Lots of room here for a slow, mourning, sorrowful, violin solo.
Nice tune, thanks for sharing ... remix and really share the vocal with us please.
oooo, nice guitar sound,
You need a single vocal in the beginning, way too much reverb on your vox.
Your voice is good enough where you can present it without doubling it.
I can understand the words the first time through. I get a tiny feeling that at some point there will be a point at which there will be a challenge to understand the vocal.
At 1:02, things are getting a bit to loud around the vocal.
Some strings moving very, very slowly in the background would be nice.
I think you are attempting to 'make something' of the vox as an 'instrument' that it really is not with the extreme amount of reverb you have added.
Don't cheat us out of a good vocal performance please, all of us, including you, deserve better.
At 2:40, I like the 'taking us back to the beginning' kind of feeling.
Oh yes, by 2:58, this has been very effective, nice ... into the piano. I think you've been 'sluiced'.
Lots of room here for a slow, mourning, sorrowful, violin solo.
Nice tune, thanks for sharing ... remix and really share the vocal with us please.
SLuiCe
New member
You've come to the right place to learn antij.
This is a very good first offering.
Why are you hiding your nice voice?
This is a very good first offering.
Why are you hiding your nice voice?
A
antij
New member
Yea, it's gets worse every time I hear it--especially once I burned it to CD and listened in my car. It was one of those things were it sounded kinda cool at first, but I definately need to take it down.
That's funny that you say that. That's exactly what I tried in the beginning. I don't have a violon though (or know how to play one) and I've never been impressed by any of the midi "violons."
I'm not exactly sure what you mean (especially by "sometimes"). A little reverb maybe? I know I had trouble getting the drums to sound OK, but I'm not sure what else to do. They were done in fruity loops.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions. They're very helpful--especially with the specific comments. I'm gonna work on it and post it again, so tell me if it's better.
studioviols
New member
Please, allow me to put on my pointed tin hat for a moment ... let me adjust my receptors now .... ahhh, yes ...
I believe that every piece of music has every instrument imaginable playing in it. Usually, most of the instruments are playing 'rests' for most of the piece ... seriously though.
I hear violin, or viola or cello 'call' to me from a piece of music. Sometimes, yes, I have to 'compose' or 'write' a part for one of my instruments that I 'hear' the instrument playing in the piece of music.
Sometimes the 'hearing' of the violin, viola or cello in a piece of music is so overwhelming, so powerful, that I can literally see the notes on paper, flowing over the paper for the part on the first listening of a piece of music.
Now, here, help me tug this tin hat off ... '!'Pop!'! ... ooo yes, now I'm back ...
If you would like that violin solo in that spot. Lay the tracks again, or remix, whatever you like.
KEEP WORKING on this piece for sure whatever you do, it's a good piece of music.
I believe that every piece of music has every instrument imaginable playing in it. Usually, most of the instruments are playing 'rests' for most of the piece ... seriously though.
I hear violin, or viola or cello 'call' to me from a piece of music. Sometimes, yes, I have to 'compose' or 'write' a part for one of my instruments that I 'hear' the instrument playing in the piece of music.
Sometimes the 'hearing' of the violin, viola or cello in a piece of music is so overwhelming, so powerful, that I can literally see the notes on paper, flowing over the paper for the part on the first listening of a piece of music.
Now, here, help me tug this tin hat off ... '!'Pop!'! ... ooo yes, now I'm back ...
If you would like that violin solo in that spot. Lay the tracks again, or remix, whatever you like.
KEEP WORKING on this piece for sure whatever you do, it's a good piece of music.
A
antij
New member
studioviols-
Yea, I plan to do another mix of this one soon; maybe by some miracle I can get a cool sounding violin solo in there. It's been kind of an experiment, so who knows where it will end up. At first I thought it was perfect with just the acoustic and vocals, but as usual more parts just keep piling on.
Sometimes I have to limit myself before a simple song takes a turn for the worse. But I know what you mean by a certain instrument calling to you. For me, sometimes that's good and sometimes it gets annoying.
Yea, I plan to do another mix of this one soon; maybe by some miracle I can get a cool sounding violin solo in there. It's been kind of an experiment, so who knows where it will end up. At first I thought it was perfect with just the acoustic and vocals, but as usual more parts just keep piling on.
Sometimes I have to limit myself before a simple song takes a turn for the worse. But I know what you mean by a certain instrument calling to you. For me, sometimes that's good and sometimes it gets annoying.
studioviols
New member
You get the violin solo from me. After you get a good mix, make a 190kbps quality MP3 available for me and I lay down a violin solo.
A
antij
New member
sounds like a plan
Hey that would be great. I'll remix it within a day or two, so check back.
Hey that would be great. I'll remix it within a day or two, so check back.
A
antij
New member
here it is
http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=3294&alid=-1
There's the 2nd mix. I made mostly a bunch of small changes and decreased the reverb on the vox. Hopefully it sounds better now. Let me know what you think.
http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=3294&alid=-1
There's the 2nd mix. I made mostly a bunch of small changes and decreased the reverb on the vox. Hopefully it sounds better now. Let me know what you think.
A
ashulman
New member
The acoustic sounds terrific here. Very nice. No one mentioned that so I thought I would. Agree with the other comments.
Pedullist
Stop it, I can't breathe
SLuiCe said:
I second that question
L
lynx
New member
Usually, I don't think every song needs a violin or a string instrument but this one definitely could benefit from it, in all seriousness I got a little bored.
You got a nice acoustic guitar sound and the piano has a great sound to it as well - what is that by the way?
You got a nice acoustic guitar sound and the piano has a great sound to it as well - what is that by the way?
A
antij
New member
I'm wondering: is this still directed at the 1st version? Maybe the 2nd mix still has too much reverb as well? I know I could probably bring it down some more, but for some reason I think this song calls for a little more than normal. But I might decide to bring it down again.
Not sure if you meant the guitar or piano, but the guitar is an alvarez miced through a crappy dynamic mic and the piano (if I remember right) is the piano+strings setting on the Edirol VSC.
Thanks for all the comments everyone; they've been really helpful.
M
Mike BL
New member
I'm a little late on this, but I wanted to let you know I'm really liking it a lot.
Two comments:
At times, I think the bass guitar might be a bit too up front, but even that I kind of enjoy.
And I actually like the way your vocals sit in the mix....the general consensus around here seems to be that vocals are supposed to jump out and slap you in the face, but I don't think that's always necessary. A lot of great, atmospheric music like this has been recorded with the vocals purposely a tiny bit buried in the mix (particularly a now defunct indie rock band from the early 90s called My Bloody Valentine, whom I think you'd really like a lot.)
Anyway, like I said, I think it's really good.
Two comments:
At times, I think the bass guitar might be a bit too up front, but even that I kind of enjoy.
And I actually like the way your vocals sit in the mix....the general consensus around here seems to be that vocals are supposed to jump out and slap you in the face, but I don't think that's always necessary. A lot of great, atmospheric music like this has been recorded with the vocals purposely a tiny bit buried in the mix (particularly a now defunct indie rock band from the early 90s called My Bloody Valentine, whom I think you'd really like a lot.)
Anyway, like I said, I think it's really good.
skids
New member
groovejunkie said:I zapped in´just to say: "gimme my avatar back!!"
.
.
...just kidding
Oh wait. I guess you were here before me.
antij-
I like this a lot. It has a wonderful feel, albeit sad. Vocals, guitars and piano are really nice. Beginning is cool.
I think the verb on the vox sounds good now. It does seem to fit the song. Don't know about before. I just think there is competition going on in there between something and your vox making them hard to hear in some places. It's hard to tell with all that verb.
Also, I did not care for the drums. They need to be either more natural or more electronic. Right now they are sorta in between. I don't love the beat either, but that is just preference.
This is really cool song and a great start. Let's hear this thing fleshed out.
kjam22
Member
You should get someone to come in and put some real, big, booming acoustic drums on this thing and scrap what's there.
I like the song and I think it has a lot of potential..... but man.... those drum tracks don't work. Just my opinion.
I like the song and I think it has a lot of potential..... but man.... those drum tracks don't work. Just my opinion.
T
TripleM
Well-known member
Yeah I think that's a pretty big verb. In particular, the predelay is too long. I'd suggest shortening that quite a bit. I'd suggest doubling the vocals for a song like this rather than relying as much on the verb as you're doing. A little pitchiness in spots.
A few small timing issues here and there.
Nice ambience to the song. I liked that droning bass going through it. You have a nice singing voice.
A few small timing issues here and there.
Nice ambience to the song. I liked that droning bass going through it. You have a nice singing voice.