Another Divorce song.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Chris Shaeffer
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Chris Shaeffer

Chris Shaeffer

Peavey ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I was playing some of my ooooollllllddddd tunes on the guitar (getting ready to whip something impressive out for a lady I'm seeing next week...jeez, I'm silly) and ran into this one I wrote when my brother got divorced.

His split was a thousand times worse than mine. He was on an aircraft carrier during Operation Desert Shield while his "wife" ran up $10,000 in debt on drugs and participating in...well, she just wasn't true to him by any means. In fact, a friend of his who witnessed her behavior remarked when he first heard this song: "The only song that girl deserves is a eulogy."

I was 18 when I wrote this and I'm thinking about recording it now. Does it work?

"Fallen Angel"

Going through the old photo album last night
I saw the only shot of you
Your eyes were laughing and your dress was still white
Back then it might have been true

You wanted loving and I wanted you
To be as happy as can be
Thought I was enough to pull you through
But you let go of me

I still have the clothes that you bought me
But I don't wear them any more
They're in the closet with the other old bones
That I don't chew on anymore

You were an angel and I was your light
Guiding you home night and day
But I guess some lights shine brighter than others
And you got lost on the way

(Change)
Fallen Angel, where are you tonight?
Is it heaven or hell?
Fallen Angel, you may have been white,
But I can't tell.

There's nothing left of you in me
I've long ago said "good-bye"
I don't worry that I've left you behind
But I still wonder why.

(Change- agian)

(Hey Joro- I promise this one will have music that fits the mood. :))

Thanks,
Chris

BTW, do you realize what a gift this kind of forum is? Who else would tell you that "dude, that line just doesn't work" and offer suggestions and inspiration to figure out what will.
 
I think it's a good lyric that could get even better with refinement like looking at the male character in the first verse and would he really have just one photo of her, etc. Lets hear that mp3.
 
Good call, Philboyd.

Its actually true- the seed for this song was running across the only pic of her in my parents' photo album- but that doesn't need to be highlighted in the song. How's this instead?

"I saw a lonely shot of you"

And (rubbing hands in delighted expectation) if my new mics arrive as expected tomorrow, I'll be all over trying out some of Harvey's acoustic guitar micing techniques with this tune on Sunday. I might have an mp3 up fairly soon, then.

Thanks for the reads and input!

Chris
 
Nice little adjustment Chris, most often that's all it takes. Unless the lyric is a total train wreck it's usually best to change as little as possible so you can keep the original inspiration.
 
I like this lyric Chris - as I did "Mute" (didn't post on that one though, there was so much going on with that rhs guy...)

I think the verse that stuck with me the most was:

I still have the clothes that you bought me
But I don't wear them any more
They're in the closet with the other old bones
That I don't chew on anymore

I like that imagery a lot... and the way you write that they're in the closet with the "other old bones" tells me that he's tried - and succeeded - to bring the whole ordeal to the same level as other, maybe more trivial, experiences that have failed. Don't know if that's what you're saying - but that's how I interpret it. And I always love lyrics that work that way - good one!

Personally, I would detach it one step further (this is a detail)... and instead of saying "I still have the clothes that you bought me" I would prefer something like "I still have the clothes that I wore back then" or "I still have the clothes that I wore that day" or something vague along those lines... I'm aware that those words may not fit rythmically, but hopefully you get my point...

Anyway, please disregard that minor detail if you don't feel it would improve your song, damn fine one (again). Looking forward to what you whip out next time. :)

cheers /Tommy
 
Tommy: Thanks for the good comments! I'm glad you liked the lyrics to these two songs.

You are making me feel really good, too, with your interpretation of the bones in the closet- you nailed the exact feel that I was going for. I was trying to be in the mindset of my brother looking back on his divorce after many years. Thats part of what brought the song back to my attention the other day I guess. :) I'd love to have that perspective myself.

You make a great point about the clothes. Just like the "only shot of you" that philboyd pointed out, this one is rooted in reality again: his ex had a habit of covering him with clothes that she bought (with his money) that he wore for her but didn't really like all that much. Again, that isn't a part of the story that a listener is going to pick up on...hmmmmm.

I'm pretty darned attached to it, though. I guess, I was thinking along the lines of "I still remember who I was back then, but I'm not that person any more" but needed a way to relate that person to her. And I needed the closet to put the bones in. (Chuckle) A little reference to "skeletons in the closet" and things better left hidden and forgotten. I'll have to think about that some more. Good eye in picking out that little hitch.

Songwriting is so much fun! All these interwoven metaphors- its pretty easy to get tangled up sometimes. ;)

Thanks again, Tommy.

Phil: I nearly danced around like an idiot when I came up with that little change. I even got to keep to keep the sound of the original lyric so I could sing it with feeling like much had changed! It kind of surprised me how much I wanted to have that "-only" sound in that line. The song's been around for a while, though, so it makes sense that I'd be comfortable with it the way it is.

Take care, gentlemen. Thanks again for your time in reading and responding to my lyrics!

Oh, no mics for me tomorrow :( but I have a few ideas for new micing techniques that I can do with the mics I have so, hopefully, I will have something to show for my day off this week.

G'night.
Chris
 
A thought for the chorus:

Fallen Angel...Are you flying tonight
Fallen Angel...Is it heaven or hell
Fallen Angel...On your wings so bright
Fallen Angel...Fly away

It kinda felt country to me. I know what this song is about, having been divorced a couple of times. You do get some distance on it after a time, but you can't help but wonder, after all this lady was once your best friend, or so you thought. The "fly away" means, to me , get outa my thoughts you *#@*~#!!!


writeon...chazba
 
I posted "Fallen Angel" over in the Clinic

Well, I feel a little silly posting another song in the Clinic since "Mute" is still getting a little attention, but "Fallen Angel" turned out so well (to my ears) that I had to see if my new micing techniques measured up.

You can find this song at this thread over in the Clinic:

https://homerecording.com/bbs/showthread.php?threadid=41462

Chazba: Thanks for the idea, and I'm sorry to hear about the multiple divorces. Man, I thought one was bad enough- I feel for ya. Seems to be the universal feeling: the distance comes with time. I worried there for a while because it seems like I've lost a whole year to it so far. Blagh. The new year seems to have helped, though.

Country, eh? I suppose with a little twang in the voice and the guitar this could have been a country song. I tried to record it with more of a pop ballad flavor, though. There are some slightly dissonant parts that would have to go if it were done up country style, too.

Thanks, again.

Take care,
Chris
 
I think the genre of a song, what ever it is, can overlap into other styles. I see this as a plus for the song, as it increases the audience.
Good song Chris.
 
Ahhh divorce..its a endless source of material...Thank god it turns into a distant memory with time..LOL..Good song, I enjoyed the read!

Don
 
Whoops! Been having so much fun over in Recording Techniques and the Cave that I spaced checking in here. Sorry!

Don: Thanks. I've been inspired and posting so much recently that I was beginning to wonder if I'm not just blowing hot air around. :)

Badgas: Thanks, again. Some people have told me that its always a bad idea to write outside of a specific genre. I disagree with them for presicely the reason that you mentioned. Of course, I'm not trying to make money off of it so I have the freedom to do that. :)

I love home recording. :D

Thanks, gentlemen.
 
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